Doing battle ... against my own lawyer

Well I don't advise this and it certainly is a step of last resort. Unfortunately that's where I find myself.

If you're going down, and you paid the asshole a ton of money, should you really go down by yourself while he goes hopping and skipping to the bank laughing loudly? I think not!

This will be a big gamble. The judge will go bonkers. I'm prepared to give testimony against my own lawyer. What? Yeah, just like my last lawyer did against me to get her fees for screwing up.

Can't beat their game, join it. Use there shitty techniques against them.

I may be an old dog, but no one ever accused me of not learning new tricks.

I'm up late, putting the final touches on how he screwed up. I'll try one more time to get the MIA senior partner to step up to the plate, otherwise I drop the bomb (pearl harbor file) and "paper him" (one of the lawyer's favorite dirty tricks).

Well, it's 2:30 am and I'm done with my 15 page "papering", too verbose you say? I did my best to summarize each of the issues in 1 or 2 short paragraphs. That's just how screwed up it is! See the How Many Ways post below to see just one day's screw ups, let alone this SUTD (screw ups to date) document.

I spent another hour on the financial spreadsheet. Then I tried to sleep. Fat chance. How can you spend hours on an intellectually and emotionally draining task and then go to sleep. You can't, I didn't. After a little while, I got up, read the morning paper, put on a CD and reclined comfortably relaxed waiting for the early morning meeting.

He gives me this high pressure crap, lets finalize the settlement today. I'd love to, but why don't we redirect the high pressure crap to the party who has constantly caused delays. It starts getting a little tense, he's advising me "not to worry" about foreclosure or enforcement actions. Fine for him to say, I'm at risk. I told him firmly, I'm not trusting anyone with loosing my house or the variety of draconian child support enforcement actions, much less my lawyer who has such a poor track record.

He's getting uncomfortable, he asks me if I want him to call in the senior partner (Mr. MIA). Yeah, I do. Mr. MIA gives me the high pressure sales pitch, don't you want to settle? Don't even give me that crap. I don't want to pretend this will be any different. She will delay the process again, what are we doing to address that? Continuing to provide settlement overtures that keep getting delayed and expecting this one will be different is like expecting a zebra to wake up one morning without it's strips.

Doing the same thing and expecting different results is a sign of craziness or it will certainly drive you crazy as you beat your head against the wall expecting different results, only to loose again. See, here's another indication that lawyers are crazy.

So I catch the senior partner offguard, he's assuring me that a foreclosure will take a long time and they really won't do it. So then I ask, how will their steps toward foreclosure look on my credit report, what will the second deadbeat dad look like on my credit report (yep, it shows up, even when wrong)? What are the odds I'll get a loan, pass a background check on employment, what interest rate, what insurance rate (they figure bad credit = bad risk)?

Well my lawyer would have told me that I was wrong, that this would not happen, I've had that argument with him already and told him he was talking out of his ass, because I have pulled my credit report and child support enforcement records and it has happened, so don't tell me nothing will happen, it did and that's a fact. And if it did before, I expect it to happen again.

I asked if they had ever heard of an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure? Is the concept of proactive anything you understand? The senior partner seems befuddled, like what? Like my repeated requests to make motion to release separate assets to handle this. The judge has released (seized) my separate assets to pay lawyers, why not the bank?

That would be proactive, that would prevent this mess. That is what my lawyer agreed to and then reneged on without my authorization. Well we can't go backwards, says the senior partner. Then I have your agreement that this will be done at the earliest convenience, that is what I want to happen. OK, says the senior partner, as he gets up (out argued) and heads for the door, always a pleasure talking to you (yeah, right, I enjoy having my ass handed to me on a platter, don't you), let me know if you have anything else.

Is that so unreasonable? To pay my other creditors too? They have seized over $30K for a variety of things, mostly legal fees, and leave the banks holding an IOU while they save whatever I have left for their future fees.

So we review the issues. Then I hand him the "papering" - 16 pages, he frowned. What is this more rhetoric calling me an "asshole". Well gosh I never called him that, a ball less pussy, but not an asshole, unless he's reading my Blog, hey junior pussy (my lawyer), read the legal notice, that means you too. I tell him, no, it states my positions and concerns on the large number of issues that remain open. Do I need to edit it to protect your thin skin sensitivity? No, just give it to me?

PS: Sorry for the late results, but without sleep, I was wiped out after my son left and crashed.

Status: Second Draft - Last Updated 2/27/07 11:50 pm