Divorce Court is a paper tiger. On the one hand it will cut the parties to shreds like a paper cut, stinging without relief. But on the other hand, anyone else just simply looks at the paper tiger and laughs. That's why I refer to Divorce Court Orders as Asswipe, it protects you like a thin ply of toilet paper and its only good for wiping your ass. And I mean that quite literally.
The court will order a division of property and they will assign debt to the parties. But the creditors who hold that debt do not care about the divorce court. Why? Well since the divorce court is run more like a Kangeroo Kourt (no offense to my Aussie friends), other entities have taken steps to protect themselves from them.
First they will do the simplest thing, simply ignore the court. The court does not followup. If pushed, they will claim a jurisdictional problem.
Credit cards have contracts and they will claim that the divorce court can not vacate or alter their contract. So if the division of property assigns debts and issues an order, shouldn't that order be issued to the creditor? It isn't ! It is issued to the parties who can't get along in the first place. Does that make sense?
Nothing about divorce or the court or the process or the industry makes any sense at all (jqism).
So what happens, well if the court did its job and beat the parties into mindless depression and submission, then the ordered party will do what they are ordered to do. But if you have a cocky party who doesn't give a shit (like my ex bitch for example) then they will simply default on the loan and guess what will happen, the credit card company will tell the other party they don't give a shit about no asswipe divorce court order, they have a contract and you will pay or they will sue.
But you don't owe you may say. Not their problem they will say, its yours, your the dumbass that married the bitch. That will teach you to enter into a civil agreement that is one sided. Oh you thought you had a contract with God, not in this separation of church & state secular nation. So what good is that expensive order you have, what can you do with it --- ASSWIPE !!!
Well what if you can't pay either? What will they do? Just what they said they'll do, SUE! No problem, the divorce court has jurisdiction over the matter, right? WRONG! They aren't stupid, they'd loose, no they'll go to another court and try the issue on the details of their contract. Will they mention that this matter is being tried in another court - HELL NO! And they will win. So don't pay, then they'll go to a superior court and get a judgment lien to attach to your property. Yep I have them both. I have an asswipe court order declaring my ex bitch responsible for a debt and I have a judgment lien for that same debt.
Beware of the paper tiger, you'll get a paper cut and it won't scare anyone (jqism).
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Anatomy of a Motion
A "motion" is a document to get the court to "move" or decide a particular matter. A motion starts with a caption, naming the parties (people getting divorced), the court, the case number, and the title of the motion. It describes what is wanted, and in legal terms why. It is signed by a lawyer with his bar number or by a party followed by "(Pro Se)" as in representing yourself.
Typically a motion requires supporting evidence in the form of an affidavit (sworn and notarized statement) from the party to certain facts. This might start by you telling your lawyer something in plain English and then the lawyer drafting carefully worded sentences layering a single fact on top of the previous sentences' facts until all facts build to the required information needed to support the motion. Since it is usally the party that has the first hand knowledge of the supporting information, it is the party that must sign the statement. It is inappropriate for a lawyer to take a statement from a client and then sign the affadivit although I saw the hired bitch attempt to do that.
To be fair, all relevant parties must be notified, so a certificate of service must me attached to the motion. This is a sworn and notarized statement by the "mover" that a copy of the motion and related documents have been sent to the parties. The parties must be named and the method of service must be described, such as regular US postal mail, fax, personal delivery, etc. Some lawyers (hired bitch) like to play games by serving by fax after the office closed, Friday at the end of day, or by armed sheriff. These are meant as aggravation and harassment techniques to pressure the opponent to settle under less favorable terms, they are designed to wear you out, and are tolerated by the courts. Typically the lawyer rather than the actual party is notified and the lawyer notifies his client. But I have had armed sheriff's serve me at my home, to scare my son and the neighbors. They were also sent to my workplace, my brokers office, and my banks which is meant to cause trouble with people you deal with.
In divorce court, the judges rarely write the (asswipe) order. The moving party writes the order for the judge as a convenience. Blanks are left for dates and signatures. The judge will then decide whether to rule on the motion or hold a hearing, requiring the lawyers and the parties to appear in court where he can hear arguments by the lawyers while the parties sit outside in the hall like assholes, loosing money and missing work. The parties are there for the convenience of the judge in case an agreement is suggested to get the approval of the parties. And after you sit out in the hall for a few hours in extreme boredom and then hear your lawyer come out with his sugar coated turd explanation, you are almost ready to agree to anything just to get out of that hell hole twilight zone. Most judges do not want to call the party in to hear directly from them because they don't have the required judicial (kiss each other's ass) decorum.
So those items are taken to a clerk of courts who grabs them, two punch holes them, stamps them with various stamps and may take a filing fee. All with the precision and personality of a robot.
Then a copy of those documents usually with a cover letter meant to be cold and intimidating is sent to the other party's lawyers as required by the certificate of service.
So that's my task at hand for the motions I described in my MSNY post below.
Typically a motion requires supporting evidence in the form of an affidavit (sworn and notarized statement) from the party to certain facts. This might start by you telling your lawyer something in plain English and then the lawyer drafting carefully worded sentences layering a single fact on top of the previous sentences' facts until all facts build to the required information needed to support the motion. Since it is usally the party that has the first hand knowledge of the supporting information, it is the party that must sign the statement. It is inappropriate for a lawyer to take a statement from a client and then sign the affadivit although I saw the hired bitch attempt to do that.
To be fair, all relevant parties must be notified, so a certificate of service must me attached to the motion. This is a sworn and notarized statement by the "mover" that a copy of the motion and related documents have been sent to the parties. The parties must be named and the method of service must be described, such as regular US postal mail, fax, personal delivery, etc. Some lawyers (hired bitch) like to play games by serving by fax after the office closed, Friday at the end of day, or by armed sheriff. These are meant as aggravation and harassment techniques to pressure the opponent to settle under less favorable terms, they are designed to wear you out, and are tolerated by the courts. Typically the lawyer rather than the actual party is notified and the lawyer notifies his client. But I have had armed sheriff's serve me at my home, to scare my son and the neighbors. They were also sent to my workplace, my brokers office, and my banks which is meant to cause trouble with people you deal with.
In divorce court, the judges rarely write the (asswipe) order. The moving party writes the order for the judge as a convenience. Blanks are left for dates and signatures. The judge will then decide whether to rule on the motion or hold a hearing, requiring the lawyers and the parties to appear in court where he can hear arguments by the lawyers while the parties sit outside in the hall like assholes, loosing money and missing work. The parties are there for the convenience of the judge in case an agreement is suggested to get the approval of the parties. And after you sit out in the hall for a few hours in extreme boredom and then hear your lawyer come out with his sugar coated turd explanation, you are almost ready to agree to anything just to get out of that hell hole twilight zone. Most judges do not want to call the party in to hear directly from them because they don't have the required judicial (kiss each other's ass) decorum.
So those items are taken to a clerk of courts who grabs them, two punch holes them, stamps them with various stamps and may take a filing fee. All with the precision and personality of a robot.
Then a copy of those documents usually with a cover letter meant to be cold and intimidating is sent to the other party's lawyers as required by the certificate of service.
So that's my task at hand for the motions I described in my MSNY post below.
MSNY
More Shit - New Year
Un-fucking-believable, I almost added a new line to the list below, but this deserves its own post.
Last night the hired bitch, my wife's lawyer, called me on my cell and went off on me over my repeated protests of "My son is here I will not discuss the case". The case that is supposed to be the fuck over. What does final mean to you? I often hear from my brother Friday afternoons if he is up to going out and doing something. His private number comes up blocked and I thought it could be him. I forgot the hired bitch's tactic of last minute filings on Friday afternoons. I will not accept blocked calls again. My brother will have to just dial *82 before my number to unblock it so I know it is him. I will also formally notify her to use my efax service to notify asap (Friday, not Tuesday) of any issues she has.
I was not allowed to fire my lawyer to save money because the judge said the QDRO and DOPO raids on my pension plans were too complex for me. But after $40K of billing and the QDRO still delayed by the opposition and the DOPO motion being dismissed as overly burdensome to a superior state agency, my lawyer quit because I told him that I required the work to be reviewed by a CPA because of multiple mathematical mistakes he had made in amounts over $10K. So now I am supposed to take opposition counsel's word that it is OK. The same opposition that has lied, cheated, manipulated me for three years? I don't think so!
While my son was 3 feet from me, opposition counsel
I will file the following motions on Monday Morning:
I think I'm done being (relatively) nice, its time to trade in the kitt gloves for boxing gloves, its time to stop walking on eggshells with these pompous assholes and let them have it with both barrels. Conventional wisdom would say, hire a lawyer and let them take care of it, but my third lawyer quit in disgrace and I think three lawyers failing to address my well articulated needs strongly implies a trend. If you want it done right, do it yourself. And this old dog can still learn new tricks... The hired bitch wants to "paper me", "slam me", threaten me, motion for sanctions and fees, well two can play at that game. And I have a key advantage, I don't need the hired bitch as a professional friend as my three lawyers did. See the hired bitch is big in this town and she commands respect and gets it. But she isn't gonna get it from me, she hasn't earned it, she has won my contempt instead.
Status: First Draft, last update 01/05/08 9:30 am
Footnotes:
To "paper" someone you keep them tied up in paperwork, filing questionable and nuisance motions to "churn fees" and aggravate the opposition into submission.
To "slam" someone you do rapid fire "papering" with motions for contempt, sanctions, and fees.
Un-fucking-believable, I almost added a new line to the list below, but this deserves its own post.
Last night the hired bitch, my wife's lawyer, called me on my cell and went off on me over my repeated protests of "My son is here I will not discuss the case". The case that is supposed to be the fuck over. What does final mean to you? I often hear from my brother Friday afternoons if he is up to going out and doing something. His private number comes up blocked and I thought it could be him. I forgot the hired bitch's tactic of last minute filings on Friday afternoons. I will not accept blocked calls again. My brother will have to just dial *82 before my number to unblock it so I know it is him. I will also formally notify her to use my efax service to notify asap (Friday, not Tuesday) of any issues she has.
I was not allowed to fire my lawyer to save money because the judge said the QDRO and DOPO raids on my pension plans were too complex for me. But after $40K of billing and the QDRO still delayed by the opposition and the DOPO motion being dismissed as overly burdensome to a superior state agency, my lawyer quit because I told him that I required the work to be reviewed by a CPA because of multiple mathematical mistakes he had made in amounts over $10K. So now I am supposed to take opposition counsel's word that it is OK. The same opposition that has lied, cheated, manipulated me for three years? I don't think so!
While my son was 3 feet from me, opposition counsel
- issued an ultimatum that I respond my Monday end of day
- threatened motions to compel, sanction, and fees
- sarcastically wished me a good visit, this from the person who has constantly interfered and prevented visitation.
I will file the following motions on Monday Morning:
- an objection that I was not allowed to represent myself, violating my constitutional right to self representation, to save $40K.
- an objection that my lawyer who was required, by order of the judge, was allowed to withdraw by that same judge, prior to completing the task at hand, protecting me from the QDRO/DOPO raids on my pensions.
- an objection that I was not allowed to protest the withdraw at a hearing the way I was required to do on the previous legal withdraw.
- a motion to sanction my prior counsel for fees required to have a CPA and legal review of QDRO/DOPO.
- a motion to show cause on why opposition counsel could not act in the best interest of the child and cease her interference with my visitation.
- a motion to sanction opposition counsel for improper harassment and interference in visitation.
- A proposed QDRO settlement that is actually fair to me, that says she must settle for current market value, for no tax considerations (as I had none), and keeping the remainder in my name rather than assigning the whole pension including appreciation to her.
I think I'm done being (relatively) nice, its time to trade in the kitt gloves for boxing gloves, its time to stop walking on eggshells with these pompous assholes and let them have it with both barrels. Conventional wisdom would say, hire a lawyer and let them take care of it, but my third lawyer quit in disgrace and I think three lawyers failing to address my well articulated needs strongly implies a trend. If you want it done right, do it yourself. And this old dog can still learn new tricks... The hired bitch wants to "paper me", "slam me", threaten me, motion for sanctions and fees, well two can play at that game. And I have a key advantage, I don't need the hired bitch as a professional friend as my three lawyers did. See the hired bitch is big in this town and she commands respect and gets it. But she isn't gonna get it from me, she hasn't earned it, she has won my contempt instead.
Status: First Draft, last update 01/05/08 9:30 am
Footnotes:
To "paper" someone you keep them tied up in paperwork, filing questionable and nuisance motions to "churn fees" and aggravate the opposition into submission.
To "slam" someone you do rapid fire "papering" with motions for contempt, sanctions, and fees.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
SSNY
Same Shit - New Year
What to say, Happy Fuckin New Year. Well there are some improvements in my life, so my mood isn't as sour as this title, but the promised freedom from my ex 7 months ago has failed to materialize. We separated in March 2005, the divorce was final in May 2007, it is now 2008 and this is my life in the new year.
Should I settle? Should I embrace misery as my destiny (as the majority has counseled me to do)? The idea doesn't sit well with me.
How much sugar is needed to make these turds taste better and where can I get a recipe for preparation? This is a dish I will pass on.
Part of my personality, my perseverance and perfectionism contributes to my viewpoint on this issue. When I see an injustice like the divorce system I know it shouldn't be, and I want to overcome it, but it is so deeply entrenched and the system "fights back" to assert its authority. This is where the serenity prayer should take effect, but what is the balance point, what can be overcome. I think the system conspires to dupe people into thinking they have no choices where they really do. On the flip side, it may be too idealistic of me to think I can completely overcome it and never settle.
Intellectually I'd have to say its a challenge of finding a balancing point. And since conventional wisdom has broken down and provided no real guidance, then the task at hand is to aggressively test the divorce system's boundaries and its negative impact to be very sure if it must be accepted or if there is indeed a more acceptable alternative.
What I have learned is that there is absolutely a better alternative in many cases, but the parties involved and the system's greed conspire to make them illusive. What it really needs to come down to is the divorce industry needs to be less self centered and more problem solving. But this is such a gigantic paradigm shift which worries all the divorce industry on whether they can be as successful as their current parasitic feeding off their clients. It is much too idealistic to think that the mere transformation from parasite to improving force would motivate the good in these people to do the right thing.
There is another major reason for challenging the system, "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem". And people's silence for the travesty that occurs daily in the divorce system allows the arcane abuse to continue to occur. Is it fair that someone who is a victim of the system be called on to summon even more strength to fight the system? NO! But the system isn't fair either. I know I will not single handedly change the system, but I may impact some areas, and I know I will fail if I don't try. And just settling, giving up, not trying, not caring, is the worst type of failure there is. It's been said I'm not good with failure, so if I'm gonna fail it won't be for lack of trying. It's the only way I can live with myself, and its important to be able to do that.
There are success stories in my case where I have pushed the boundaries of conventional wisdom and they have yielded. Why should I have made progress in my case where others have failed? The simple answer - CARING! When you care deeply about something you can skip past all the formal training there is, past the so called experts, to the front of the line.
All the training and credentials in the world don't amount to a hill of beans if you really don't give a shit (jqism).
And I give a shit, I care, I don't accept that I must accept the same shit on a new day.
Accepting the unacceptable, settling, is the quick path to not solving the problem in front of you. (jqism).
I'm not in this for quick non-solutions, I prefer quality real solutions, but like anything worthwhile, it requires work, its not easy nor quick. (jqism).
Footnote 1 - I will be adding a new HTML technique to my posts using the ANCHOR TITLE tag, the NCP is an example of it, if you hover over it, a tool tip opens up telling you it is a Non-Custodial Parent. When you see an underlined colored item it is usually a link, if you see an underlined uncolored item it may be a TITLE tag, hover over it and see what else I am telling you about it. This is kind of a short cut, but not a substitution for my terminology page on my companion site.
Footnote 2 - Rather than just pay it without an audit trail, I wrote a check to my ex for the amount with a memo line that said "short term loan" and told her to go to that bank, cash the check and take the cash and deposit it into her account the same day, she balked, I insisted and said that I would go with her to ensure it was done.
Now this is the least level of precaution, the next is a more formal loan agreement, I have a sample if someone needs it and will write a post about that. The last level, which you can obtain from a bookstore is a formal legal promissory note.
I keep three separate checking accounts at separate banking institutions because of the litigation possibilities for subpoenaing records, freezing accounts, or seizing funds. These are a divorce account used for child support and divorce related items, it is the only account I allow my ex or lawyers to know about. The second is my full service personal account that I use to carry on my daily life, pay bills, etc. The third is my private emergency account, this account is kept private from everyone, extra funds not needed for bills are in this account.
It is important that separate banking institutions be used because litigation will apply to all accounts at an institution. If two of your banking institutions merge, you must move an account to prevent this exposure. When opening or using an account you are likely to notify the IRS (for interest), the credit reporting firms (for a credit card or overdraft protection) and Bank Systems (used by banks to know of people who bounce checks). The private account should be setup up as non-interest bearing with no credit or overdraft to minimize the reporting. (See full legal notice for restrictions applying to this footnote).
Status: Last updated 01/04/08 5:45 am
What to say, Happy Fuckin New Year. Well there are some improvements in my life, so my mood isn't as sour as this title, but the promised freedom from my ex 7 months ago has failed to materialize. We separated in March 2005, the divorce was final in May 2007, it is now 2008 and this is my life in the new year.
- Still in legal battles, not by my choice.
- Still do not have releases to allow access to my son's records, if I had to take him to emergency room I could not consent to treatment, I am NCP (fn 1). A paramedic stranger has more rights over my son. The court ordered me to receive shared parenting rights, my ex has not chose to grant them.
- Still being arbitrarily shorted on visitation.
- Still have driving restrictions for my son despite successful 6 year treatment of Sleep Apnea and no motor vehicle accidents or even incidents since.
- Still do not have Guardianship for my son's savings account that I made all the contributions to as ordered by the decree.
- Got a letter from my former lawyer a few days ago, haven't opened it yet
- Ex announced she will default on credit card she is ordered to pay, doesn't matter to her, the card company does not recognize her as responsible despite the court order, they take the stance that their contract holding me responsible supersedes any court order, so I am on hook for it, so I am forced to pay it, making the order --- wait for it, wait, wait --- ASSWIPE!!!
- Shouldn't I be able to respond in kind, pay legal bills with the same useless asswipe as they provide me?
- Later the same day after I paid this month's bill (fn 2) she threatened me that she would keep defaulting.
Should I settle? Should I embrace misery as my destiny (as the majority has counseled me to do)? The idea doesn't sit well with me.
How much sugar is needed to make these turds taste better and where can I get a recipe for preparation? This is a dish I will pass on.
Part of my personality, my perseverance and perfectionism contributes to my viewpoint on this issue. When I see an injustice like the divorce system I know it shouldn't be, and I want to overcome it, but it is so deeply entrenched and the system "fights back" to assert its authority. This is where the serenity prayer should take effect, but what is the balance point, what can be overcome. I think the system conspires to dupe people into thinking they have no choices where they really do. On the flip side, it may be too idealistic of me to think I can completely overcome it and never settle.
Intellectually I'd have to say its a challenge of finding a balancing point. And since conventional wisdom has broken down and provided no real guidance, then the task at hand is to aggressively test the divorce system's boundaries and its negative impact to be very sure if it must be accepted or if there is indeed a more acceptable alternative.
What I have learned is that there is absolutely a better alternative in many cases, but the parties involved and the system's greed conspire to make them illusive. What it really needs to come down to is the divorce industry needs to be less self centered and more problem solving. But this is such a gigantic paradigm shift which worries all the divorce industry on whether they can be as successful as their current parasitic feeding off their clients. It is much too idealistic to think that the mere transformation from parasite to improving force would motivate the good in these people to do the right thing.
There is another major reason for challenging the system, "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem". And people's silence for the travesty that occurs daily in the divorce system allows the arcane abuse to continue to occur. Is it fair that someone who is a victim of the system be called on to summon even more strength to fight the system? NO! But the system isn't fair either. I know I will not single handedly change the system, but I may impact some areas, and I know I will fail if I don't try. And just settling, giving up, not trying, not caring, is the worst type of failure there is. It's been said I'm not good with failure, so if I'm gonna fail it won't be for lack of trying. It's the only way I can live with myself, and its important to be able to do that.
There are success stories in my case where I have pushed the boundaries of conventional wisdom and they have yielded. Why should I have made progress in my case where others have failed? The simple answer - CARING! When you care deeply about something you can skip past all the formal training there is, past the so called experts, to the front of the line.
All the training and credentials in the world don't amount to a hill of beans if you really don't give a shit (jqism).
And I give a shit, I care, I don't accept that I must accept the same shit on a new day.
Accepting the unacceptable, settling, is the quick path to not solving the problem in front of you. (jqism).
I'm not in this for quick non-solutions, I prefer quality real solutions, but like anything worthwhile, it requires work, its not easy nor quick. (jqism).
Footnote 1 - I will be adding a new HTML technique to my posts using the ANCHOR TITLE tag, the NCP is an example of it, if you hover over it, a tool tip opens up telling you it is a Non-Custodial Parent. When you see an underlined colored item it is usually a link, if you see an underlined uncolored item it may be a TITLE tag, hover over it and see what else I am telling you about it. This is kind of a short cut, but not a substitution for my terminology page on my companion site.
Footnote 2 - Rather than just pay it without an audit trail, I wrote a check to my ex for the amount with a memo line that said "short term loan" and told her to go to that bank, cash the check and take the cash and deposit it into her account the same day, she balked, I insisted and said that I would go with her to ensure it was done.
Now this is the least level of precaution, the next is a more formal loan agreement, I have a sample if someone needs it and will write a post about that. The last level, which you can obtain from a bookstore is a formal legal promissory note.
I keep three separate checking accounts at separate banking institutions because of the litigation possibilities for subpoenaing records, freezing accounts, or seizing funds. These are a divorce account used for child support and divorce related items, it is the only account I allow my ex or lawyers to know about. The second is my full service personal account that I use to carry on my daily life, pay bills, etc. The third is my private emergency account, this account is kept private from everyone, extra funds not needed for bills are in this account.
It is important that separate banking institutions be used because litigation will apply to all accounts at an institution. If two of your banking institutions merge, you must move an account to prevent this exposure. When opening or using an account you are likely to notify the IRS (for interest), the credit reporting firms (for a credit card or overdraft protection) and Bank Systems (used by banks to know of people who bounce checks). The private account should be setup up as non-interest bearing with no credit or overdraft to minimize the reporting. (See full legal notice for restrictions applying to this footnote).
Status: Last updated 01/04/08 5:45 am
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