Tech Phobia

As I mentioned on Valentines Day we had a disagreement about a web site for my son.

My ex has a long history of tech phobia. For one birthday before separation she gave me a pair of web cams and said this is how you are going to see your son. A bit of a cruel streak too. But then she won't let him use it because Oprah said that web cams make child prostitutes. As if Oprah is technically competent to understand the Internet and protecting children on it. I actually have extensive experience in networking technology, advised the state government ISP, supported global networks, worked on computer security, and even set up the work from home network that my ex still uses.

My son has a little club and he wanted a web site for it, so he asked his Dad who has a career in computers and has plenty of web sites (that she is thankfully ignorant of). He asked me to set up a membership application and email it to his mom. She about jumped out of her chair, don't put her email on the web site. OK, I'll use an email address that I set up for my son. It contains his initials. She was worried about that. How is someone going to compromise my son's safety from a password protected web site with just his initials? The email isn't listed on the password protected site, its embedded in HTML. He actually doesn't access this email address directly, I get it and forward it to her.

Paranoia and ignorance are a dangerous combination (jqism).

He wanted to include a membership roster and I said no to that one as she was about to have a stroke. Here again, a first name isn't really a problem, its when sufficient personal info is given to identify the person and location. No location info is specified or even implied (on purpose).

I had to take his first name off everything to satisfy her which also deprives him of pride of ownership of the site that he is sharing with friends. I showed the web site to another educator of young children I work with and she thought it was neat and had no concerns.

I think my ex got over her concern now, maybe she called Oprah and got the OK, I don't know.

I don't mind debating these issues with my colleagues in the computer security industry at a logical level, but I'd rather not entertain my ex-wife's emotional hysteria or Oprah's sensationalism. Working in the computer and educational environments for 20 years and being selected to advise the state ISP and library systems on these and other network issues I feel confident in my ability to review and eliminate risks of internet access by my son. Unfortunately my ex doesn't share this confidence, she lets her roller coaster emotions be her guide.

I guess you can see my sarcasm and frustration, but I really take a more calm and logical approach. My ex takes an emotional leap to pedophile or death as the consequence to many perceived dangers. I know this has caused credibility problems with my son as I wrote in a previous post where my ex actually told my son he could die of tetanus from handling a (rusty) railroad spike. He knows that's not true and I really see no point in exaggerating.

As for use of technology, it's going to happen, it's everywhere. Rather than tell doom and gloom stories, crying wolf, and attempting to ban it, I know my son will respond better to giving logical rules.

Status: Second Draft - Last Updated 02/18/09 11 am