EXISTING VISITATION ENDANGERED ONE WEEK after overnight visitation miracle.
NEW DEVELOPMENTS ON 2 WEEKS after overnight visitation miracle on 10/8 at 8PM - THINGS HAVE GOTTEN MUCH WORSE
The court is now involved and actively considering suspending my visitation entirely.
This is not an unusual occurrence with an NCP during contested custody.
I am no longer numb, I am scared shitless... on 10/8
On 10/15 feeling better thanks to details in Louise's article and CPS not contacting me yet. I am trying to remain hopeful that they will understand this is a bogus complaint.
On 11/07 still no contact from CPS, so that's good. But I have yet to meet with the person who reported my ex's bias account. That was scheduled for tomorrow, but I have a conflict so it may have to wait another month. Depending how that meeting went I could feel better.
I suppose, as I mentioned somewhere, the worst of it is, I can never feel free, as long as I choose to see my son, the threat of CPS abuse looms over me, thanks to a very dysfunctional and often abused system.
I'll finalize this post when that meeting occurs...
Status: Actively updated as of 11/07/07 6 am
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8 comments:
John I know I sound like a broken record, but please take care of yourself !!!
Better a broken record than a broken spirit... "There is no prosthesis for that" (Al Pacino in Scent of a woman).
At no point to date have my odds been less favorable for continued visitation. This latest assault presents very high risk for both my son and me in the long term.
There is no way to take care of myself until I make the decision to leave my son.
Until then I have no control of my life or those meddling in it with the intent to destroy every last shred of me. As the saying goes, I can not have my cake and eat it too. In the US, you can not have any reasonable access to your child as NCP without having every aspect of your life controlled by outsiders.
To be an NCP is to be not free. (jqism).
If I continue on the futile path of trying to maintain a relationship with my son, I will destroy myself and my son will witness that destruction with a long lasting impact on his own self esteem.
The powers that be, that run my adult life, have made it clear, "resistance is futile".
Leaving my son, as so many fathers are forced to do, will spare him the need to witness his father being destroyed.
Thats bull. You need to keep jumping through the hoops. Keep showing that you are willing to do WHATEVER it takes to see him and spend time with him. KEEP YOUR COOL.
Its tough. But its doable. You may need to humble yourself - not give in to pride as much, in order to accomplish this. Yes, yes, we all know that what is happening to you is wrong- but it is what is happening to you, and you need to deal with it.
signed
toughlove
toughlove makes a point ... and so do you. Letting go of the outcome while still fighting gives one a cooler edge, doesn't interfere with effectiveness. Passionate fighting feels more effective but it is not necessarily.
Your son will love you no matter what happens in court and you will always be his one and only father.
The serenity prayer is about fighting when it makes sense to fight and knowing when to let go- being discerning. You are capable if you manage your intense emotions well! Let go of the all or nothing and you will be free (akaism)
PS- so sorry to hear about all of the stress- forgot to add that! ((John))
Toughlove should reserve their bullshit judgment about just how unworkable the situation is.
I've done whatever it takes, I've been forced into a fight that has bankrupted me. I have jumped through humiliating demoralizing torture perpetrated by a government gone wild.
Pride??? I have no such thing in my life, no personal pride, and no pride in the country who has abused me so badly while purporting to be the land of the free. Now there's some bullshit. NCPs are never free.
aka your reframing of toughlove's post is much more understandable then the way toughlove said it and/or meant it.
I have pointed out to other tactless posters that how you say something makes a difference.
I would point out that without the assistance of strong drugs or a lobotomy it is difficult not to have strong emotions in the face of injustice directed at such a personal level. Managing them seems difficult the longer you are exposed to and the more you learn about the injustice.
aka, Thanks for your sentiments over the stress this poses.
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