Well it should be easy right? There is a visitation schedule, what does it say? Doesn't matter really, oh technically maybe, but practically, its just more asswipe (worthless court order) coming from an asshole (judge).
First off, since my ex wanted no visitation for me and I wanted shared 50/50 parenting, the plan concessions are unique and complex. There are four ambiguous schedules that need to be merged. Why? Lawyers wrote it, and they don't speak English so they can ensure future business.
After you go through that schedule merge, my son should see his NCP (previously known as father) from 10 am to 8 pm on Christmas day, by order of the court. Any deviation by over 15 minutes is a violation of court order (asswipe), and subject to motion to show cause, contempt of court citation and review of parenting plan for offending party. Happy Horse Shit, practical value, none!
First the winner (custodial parent) can do what they want with the asswipe including, using it as asswipe, hence the name. Surely the custodial parent is assumed to be making decisions, as they've been granted authority to do, in the best interest of the child (BIC). Now that's just bullshit. Seeing a pattern forming.
First, there is no way to get the order enforced in real time, police won't do it, courts won't do it, it just doesn't happen. Second, a simple denial of visitation done even on a major holiday like Christmas, won't be entertained by the court, its likely to not be scheduled. The victim must bear the burden to prosecute this violation that isn't likely to yield a correction of the poor behavior.
Why such a cynical view? Historic observation, plain and simple.
So you want to place your bet, how much visitation will my son get? My bet is 8 hours, a 20% short fall, vs the 38 hours my ex will have. Not quite 50/50 is it? Not even 80/20. But nothing is fair for the NCP. (jqism).
- The first year, I was notified on Dec 23, that new, impossible conditions were arbitrarily put on my visitation for Dec 25. Legal challenges were made until 5 pm Dec 24th before the issue was resolved, costing thousands of dollars.
- The second year, an extortion threat was faxed to my lawyer while I was meeting with him, threatening Christmas Eve visitation once again 4 days prior to the day.
- This year it was suggested that my ex's schedule, which includes Christmas Eve and two days prior didn't allow for meeting my son's 10 hours of court ordered visitation would be reduced by 4 hours (40%). After some bickering and because of my status as Pro Se, my ex updated her plans and will "try" to get "close" to the court ordered 10 hour visitation, but may be "off by" two hours.
- And since she can get away with this continuing aggravation, it insures the NCP will always be the looser, even if I do finally get the full visitation awarded by the court, because her goal of making my life difficult after I have been granted the "freedom" of our dysfunctional domestic relations court's divorce process has been achieved. (jqism)
4 comments:
So, once again, we watch the asswipe (toilet paper ) pile up.
The ex seems to get off on control.
The reason the court orders are asswipe is because from a practical sense, they can be violated repeatedly with no consequence, especially by the "winner" residential parent.
Yes, my ex is a control freak, mainly due to a severe sense of self-centeredness which even her maternal instincts won't protect her own son from.
You should write a book with all of your jq-isms!
They are priceless!
Thanks LW, yeah I thought I'd write a book and the jqisms could be sidebars in a different fancy larger font, making it an easier read.
In the nearer term, one of my many blog improvements is to have a cross reference of jqisms on my companion page. I'd search through the blog finding them all, then put them in categories on the companion site with links to the post that contained them.
Later I am going to move my web hosting from my ISP to a full service host that can offer database searching, scripts, etc. With that people could do searches on the jqisms by keyword or category.
Was out at a club tonight and ran into a guy just starting his divorce journey, he was there drowning his sorrows at the bar and stopped drinking to quiz me for useful advice.
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