Call Backs

Want a call back from your lawyer, don't hold your breath.

But when the lawyer calls you... Well certainly you want to drop everything. They, the exalted ones, are worthy of being the most important thing in your life.

But what if you already know, he's just calling to get me to sign my son's life away on this BS "Parenting Plan" because he can't get the bitch to budge. Well, I'd like badly for all this to go away, but I don't want it to go away badly. See the pun, the important difference.

So he pulls this, "Call me back, I'm concerned about you, when you don't call back". Oh yeah, I bet you were up all night pacing the damn floors, like me, sure. If you were, drop on over, you know where I live.

Well I've got news for you... You are just a paid employee, I despise your business, I tolerate your presence by court order. That's right, I was ordered not to represent myself. It's a little more complicated than that, so as to keep a little toe over the line of legality, more details later. You aren't my friend, you aren't my relative.

So, I'll treat you professionally, but realize that I too, am busy, I am researching legal issues you gave up on, I am making plans with my son for my big decade birthday (go ahead and guess), I am negotiating with my wife for holiday time with my son. So signing an agreement that already is being violated just isn't number one on my list, just as I'm not number one on your list.

I know it's all about appearances while in court, but do me a big favor, drop the pretenses between us, because I can't live in this virtual legal cesspool for long without coming up for air once in a while.

So cut the shit, you presumably are concerned about me, you want to show it, get me my son. Anything else, I don't want to discuss. Call me when you have something about what's important, otherwise work on what's important.

Am I impatient, damn straight you would be too after two years of this torture.

Note: This started as an update to a draft of my Do As I Say Not As I Do post but it made that post too long and it is so important to me that I thought it should stand alone, even though it fits in that category.

PS: In the interest of full disclosure, this lawyer has been better than most on the pretences between us, except for this parenting agreement. Which just shows how bad it is.