In a hypocritical effort to play the game and also to appease my son's constant requests to see me, my wife sometimes lets me have some extra time with my son. But she plans it out, so it's not really free time, it seems more like an arranged date.
For example, I'll drop him off at this resturant and then you can take him to this movie and then I'll pick him up in front of the theatre 10 minutes after it should be over. We weren't in the resturant long before she called to tell me what she thought my son should order. I expected her to call me in the theatre for more advice on what I should get at the snack bar.
I guess since she's not organizing my life all the time she is filling that gap by micromanaging my son's life. And this is what really bothers me. Oh does it bother me. I wish I could turn back time to when I was putting up with her BS. I'm an an adult, at least I can defend myself.
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I just found your blog through shattered, I miss her and Solarisgal also. I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain. We (my husband and I) are going through or have gone through much of the same things that you are except, the judge is on our side most of the time and our lawyer is great. What state do you live in? We are in NC so we see the exact same judge every time. She tries to change her story ect and he busts her every time. She also like that controlling aspect and he finally put her in her place with that one too. He looked right at her and said Ms.----- YOU do not get to decide what the children do when they are with their father any more than he gets to decide what they do when they are with you. They can tell you about their weekend when they get home but other then that it is none of your business. I was never so thankful for this judge, he sees what she is doing and will knock her back a step or two.
I sure am hoping that your judge will see what the X is up to. Good Luck to you!!
On the topic of just how overbearing she can be see Are We Having Fun Yet
Thanks for the encouragement. You are very lucky to find such an understanding judge. Some are detached, bias, tolerant of their “friends” games, etc. The large case overload combined with lawyer’s games strongly contribute to this (I live in the largest metro area in the state).
I did get close a few times, once, the judge asked opposing counsel why she was so uncooperative, do you want this to go to trial? She responded with a kiss-ass, oh no your honor, which was a complete lie. I don’t know how judges tolerate that, if you’ve got a docket so long as to be in the top 5% and people constantly ask why this standard case is taking so long, then you’ve got to take a close look at legal games, find out who’s playing them, and kick them in the ass with a nice big sanction.
Boy, I’d like to be a judge, the lawyers would hate me because the game players would be fined and jailed.
Another time when I forced him to allow me to fire my lawyer, I got into chambers and disposed of 6 of 8 motions that were dragging on for 6 months. That got the judges positive attention.
The problem is that a full blown custody trial is terribly ugly and so expensive. Got my bill for the 2nd trial day, another $5K. The fourth trial day is scheduled for mid Dec. This is an abbreviated forced settlement Trial. A full blown one would last another year and cost another $100K.
Also see At What Cost?
As I get through this difficult time, my Blog will be more informational to help / exchange ideas. Right now during this “Blackmail of a Trial” I am struggling.
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