Lawyer's are nuts

and I can prove it....

One of the ten cognitive distortions that makes up the foundation of Cognitive Therapy (CT) is black and white thinking(1). As a person who works with low level computer issues often with binary or hexadecimal representation you could say I have a good "occupational hazard" excuse for black and white thinking. Add to that my disciplined upbringing with clear right/wrong delineations.

But I have come to understand the problem's with black and white thinking, have come to see the gray in between and see things on a spectrum with two extremes.

But my "special*" friends in law who are very creative in making up stories, virtual worlds to live in, play acting, etc. are surprisingly black & white thinkers.

When I complained about the latest proposal he countered, than you want to litigate (third phase, will cost another $100K) ! Well no I responded. Then you must accept the proposal, any changes will be a deal breaker. Why? It's very slanted (what a deal for the opposition, not for me)! But it's better than what they wanted, (sole custody) he countered. But that's unreasonable, I responded. What do you want, he asks in total lack of understanding?

I want you to see the gray between the black and white. I want you to see the spectrum is from mother sole custody to father sole custody with shared parenting in the middle. I want it to move toward balance. I want it understood by the judge that this proposal is making me give up what I shouldn't. It asks me to trust that in the future some trick won't be pulled by a party who has proved untrustworthiness repeatedly for two years.

Don't worry, you'll get it, no more tricks, he assures me with some groundless confidence. But the definition of a crazy person is someone who does the same thing (swallow their increased demands) and expects something different. I suppose the technical name for this would be unrealistic expectations(2).

Don't you just hate it when they think that you are a worry wart when you are having your life ripped to pieces by a bunch of strangers who could give a shit about you. Um, CT calls that minimization(3), another cognitive distortion.

I'm not worried, that would be anxiety with no good cause. I have plenty of cause for real concern.

• My son getting 1/3 of the support money.
• Two years of litigation and still not done.
• Tons of money blown for what?
• Unchecked antagonism, and bar raising every time I meet a new set of demands.
  

Nothing has changed, why should the antagonism, go away, why should the bar stay stationary? Only a crazy person would think everything is OK. But he feels it will be OK, despite the overwhelming history and evidence otherwise. CT calls this emotional reasoning(4). This is closely related to Déformation professionnelle(5) , the tendency to judge things with a bias related to your own profession (oh do they have this one bad).

I'm not crazy, are you? I see gray, do you? I may be emotional, but my arguments are based on facts, are yours?

Maybe circumstantial, but I think significant enough. I'll step through some other signs of their occupational mental illness and how they apply to our "friends*" in law to further prove beyond any doubt, they really are nuts.

Should we pity them, No, I think not. But I think a good jolt of electro-shock might be in order. If it didn't cure them, it would be a good punishment. win-win.

A concept lost on most lawyers. See Black and White only allows them to understand win or loose, nothing else, nothing in between, and in their quest for the win, they miss the win-win opportunity and capture the loose-loose result for their clients that the lawyers themselves do not understand.

It is the reason lawyers are the brunt of jokes. Lawyers, open your eyes and minds to other possibilites, there is a whole multi-dimensional world of Colors out there beyond Black and White.

* - don't mean that in a good way.