Home stretch to lawyer’s meeting for settlement conference. Got my home theatre cranked. Lucky my neighbors are far enough away not to hear it. Although if I opened any doors or windows they would (in the summer).
So I’m pouring through piles of paper work in my home office, scanning in the evidence, updating spreadsheets, a bunch of documents open at once - financial, settlement analysis, memo of understanding (in my legal representation), trial prep issues, outstanding issues…
What the hell was that, some strange rattling? I know I can vibrate the walls, but that just sounded weird. I go back into my living room to find the source of the odd sound. Geez, the newspaper on the chair next to the sub-woofer is vibrating like a reed musical instrument. It’s not crazy loud, it’s just that when you send a low digital signal through my home theatre the sub-woofer can knock out those low sounds. OK, clear away anything close to the sub-woofer, so I don’t get anymore scary sounds.
Back to work. Gotta leave a little time for packing. By now I’ve almost memorized what documents address what issues. Let’s see, for the finance, that’ll be 2 cases, recent correspondence on this phase, another case, recent file drawer another case. God what a work out, I think I’ll pack lighter and fax it later.
Of course, he should have all this, but it takes him too long to put his hands on it and he can’t even remember what he has. Most of the time, I spread out on his conference table, rifle some papers and say here, call in your assistant and copy this. Why? Is he incompetent? No, he has high ratings, he’s done more than the others, but it’s still half-assed. Why? You gotta care, other wise your actions are half assed. That’s my advantage. Kinda simple, huh?
I’ll park in this office garage, go up to the 29th floor with an overstuffed briefcase (not my formal leather one), my laptop, 2 GB of flash, a stack of CD-Rs, the rest I’ll leave in my car trunk just in case. As I look out over the nice view from his corner office, a smile will creep across my face. How thick is that glass? I should throw the pussy out. Hey I won’t do it, don’t want to be Bubba’s prison bitch, but it will help me tolerate him better.
Then hustle back home, try to chill out, to pick up my son from the bus stop & have fun like nothing ever happened. Take a short break after he leaves then start up again to prep for the next day’s settlement conference.
Life in the litigation lane… (sucks)
I’ve been here so long; I hardly remember what regular life was like…
Status – Rough Draft - Updated 1/23/07 5 am
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7 comments:
wow you sound soo stressed. My court case in comparison to yours is like a pre kindergarden session.
JQ75! May you have success tomorrow! I will keep you in my prayers! Please let us know how it went.
It’s the time factor, 2 years is too long for this kind of wasteful crappy game. The first 6 months I was actually relieved to be rid of her, but this level of interference and knocking my head against the brick wall of the system has had its cumulative effect.
To be more accurate, I’d say mine is 9th grade, yours is 6th grade on an absolute complexity scale. There are some cases much easier than yours and some a fair bit harder than mine. But you and I have something very much in common and that is our ex’s made it so much more difficult for us than it had to be. In that respect we’re in the same grade.
Yours should have been two appearances and final in two months. The financial, depo, Blog, etc stuff just was way more crap then your case deserved.
The stuff that’s been done in just the last month on my financial settlement could have been done in May 2005. Basically no one did anything from 5/05 to 11/06. I repeatedly provided info, asked for action, got billed for excuses, but until the judge said, Let there be a settlement or else a trial, all I got was excuses.
Today’s results were typical. I was so much more prepared, than my lawyer was. I took out one small folder containing the documents I worked on, and was able to address everything he had. Opposition counsel sent in her last minute fax today (her new habit) and I addressed each and every item on it on first sight. I need to collect some more paper to back it up, but I had the answers.
The effort wasn’t for naught, I just have to wait for the lawyers to catch up. I’ll have some more to do, but these slow pokes are just no match.
For that much money, you'd think they could keep up, pay attention, remember what I've said (also written) in the past. When I was consulting, if I would have provided such poor service I'd have been bounced mid-engagement (which never happened, my record was for extended engagements).
Yes, JQ, you're right. I'm not even divorced yet, although I refer to my husband as my ex husband.
The entire divorce process is very depressing, not to mention disgusting, and has the ability to send anyone to the psych ward.
My ex husband's lawyer should have referred his simple case to a paralegal, where they could have typed up the papers for about $250, but that crazy lawyer decided to suck money from him (and now me).
I can't believe that in your case, opposing counsel sent in that information and at the last minute. She did that on PURPOSE, to throw you off, however, what these lawyers do not understand is that we know our cases very well, because we care about them a whole world of a lot more than they will ever.
All this would be bad enough if it was unintended damage.
IT IS NOT !
Having retained three legal firms over this period and interviewed several more, I have an advantage of multiple inputs. It can’t just possibly drive you nuts, it is meant to drive you nuts, to create an advantage to your opponent. This is an important point, even knowing this, your reflexes take over when your buttons are pushed.
IT IS LEGALIZED PREMEDIATED HARRASMENT.
One of the few ways you can screw people badly and get away with it. It is primitive, inhumane, and has no place in the 21st century. The adversarial divorce process should be dismantled and replaced. It is cruel and unusual punishment most often inflicted by the guilty party against the innocent party.
And if it is not good enough for criminals, then it is not good enough for civilians.
Given our discussions, you are on target with your estimate. Total out the door cost should have been less than $500 with maybe two appearances in court.
You’ve touched on another important point. Once the antagonistic card is on the table, your hand is forced. Now the game takes on a life of its own and you are just along for the rollercoaster ride. IT IS A SICK, CRUEL, JOKE !
Last minute, that’s her (my wife’s lawyer) trademark. She files motions on Friday to maximize the delay it takes you to get notified and so you get notified during the work week. I check the court docket over the weekend and on Monday morning. Often I know the motion before my lawyer gets the mail.
She files by process server to be sure it can be served last minute, certified mail may not be deliverable and then service has failed. She sits on subpoenas, and then serves them last minute by process server as she did for me on Saturday the day before Father’s day, which was dated over 1 week earlier and several days before a hearing.
She had her financial objections at the last trial date, (according to a dated spreadsheet, after ignoring it for two prior trial dates, which are set one month apart) but would not discuss them, thus assuring another trial date, she waited until one week prior to the new trial date to send them to my lawyer, hoping they could not be resolved for the 5th trial date.
But the proverbial frosting on the cake, her “best” effort, was to wait until 12/20 to supply a Christmas visitation schedule, then Fax an update on 12/21 while she knew my lawyer would be meeting with me, to say, sign the parenting plan, with my new restrictions, or else this visitation is withdrawn (which would result in no Christmas visitation).
On 12/19, I blew up and called my lawyer a “pussy looser” who could not take on the opponent’s (lady’s) brass balls. Her goal was realized, I was made out to look like a nut. Any one in the real world (outside law) would understand the provocation.
People who know me and my regular readers, know that I am not sexist or gender biased. “Evil Bitch” is barely adequate to describe this type of behavior. My Christian, Collaborative Lawyer called her a “fuckin cunt” and I have that recorded.
On your last point. I actually think the lawyers know that we care about the details and are better equipped to handle them efficiently and quickly. But the goal is billable hours, not timely resolution. Sound paranoid? Get scientific, what do our observations tell us? Yep, it fits.
That we live in different states, with different cases, with different circumstances and have a common problem (abuse of the system against the innocent party) just adds to the proof. The system is broke beyond repair and needs to be replaced. Band-Aids are not an effective treatment for hemorrhaging.
Hmm, now that I think of it there may be a tie for “best stunt”. In Christmas 2005, we had a Christmas visitation agreement on 12/19/2005. My lawyers office was closed on Friday 12/23. Her lawyer, added impossible conditions to the visitation on Friday. My lawyer called me at work. Arguing on this continued until 5pm 12/24.
That is why I unloaded on my lawyer on 12/19/2006. I had been asking for the Christmas visitation to be finalized since Nov 2006, when I saw less than a week and what happened the year before, I said bullshit, you’re not screwing me two years in a row without a fight.
you are absolutely right about your reflexes taking over.
When I first started blogging, I blogged as user, "june" and had the url stormgal.blogspot.com. That's the link I forwarded to my ex's coworkers. However, when his lawyer pretended to hit the roof and started screaming over the telephone that I was going to get sued, I took down the site just to be safe.
HOWEVER, after I took it down, she then proceeded to send my lawyer a letter stating that I'm immature, and weird for blogging about my personal life. That is when my anger grew hot, and I started to blog all over again.
Now, I really wonder if she did that on purpose, just so that her client can have a case to sue. I hear, not sure, but I hear that it costs a world of a lot of money to sue someone. So maybe his lawyer wanted to cash in.
Lawyer’s definitely play games, try to screw with you, to get you to screw up or give up. To make you look bad, or nuts, or whatever.
As for the cost of suing. Lawyer’s go by the hour, cases, especially those that are likely to go to trial easily cost a bundle.
As we’ve discussed, defamation would be hard to prove. I think this was more aimed at harassment (like in my case) to put stress on you in the hopes you give up early and give up on getting the best settlement.
This is a very popular game. Stress out the opponent by any means necessary to get a more favorable settlement.
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