Yep, sure enough. I am skeptical for a reason. I recheck everything and I’m never disappointed in finding an error. Now we’re all human and that means that we all make mistakes. But there is a difference between human and lazy, sloppy carelessness (I hope?). Especially when you’re being charged top buck for it.
So what happens when I put her preposterous proposal into Excel? The numbers don’t balance. Why? Well see she (one trick pony) didn’t use the spreadsheet to do all the math. She may have used it to total the purported marital property amounts or maybe not. They add up correctly, but that could be an accident. I noticed that she rounded numbers to the nearest hundred dollars (why not thousand?) inconsistently. Next to split property she listed a footnote number, then at the bottom were footnotes with total and separate property amounts in text (not number) format. Apparently she subtracted the numbers outside of Excel, presumably with a calculator, then typed the erroneous number in at the top of the sheet.
In a state that recognizes joint and separate property and an industry that cuts down forests of paper, you’d think she could squeeze in the two columns to show all three figures and let Excel do the math. But Nooooooooo. That would be common sense and there is no room for that in the law.
Sure enough, the spreadsheet was dated on the last trial date, so why was it not handled then? Why did I receive it yesterday, three weeks later? Deliberate delay to cost me more money. Expect to see a complaint on that. Oh you think pussy won’t write it, you’re probably right. But I know how to write it and I know how to force a document onto the record. Why don’t you search for me and see that I went through a whole civil case Pro Se and won against another one trick pony the likes of you. Would you like to see the first draft of the ex parte (other party does not have to be notified) ruling I got signed behind your back? It was on my lawyer’s letter head, but I researched the local rule, I wrote it. I knew what an uncooperative SOB you were even back then, so I told my lawyer to wait, why kiss your ass for an AJE (agreed judgment entry) when we can wait a week and get it signed without a hearing? I’ve been re-reading the local rules lately, and you seem to be a little over the line. Maybe I should pay a few bucks extra and get a sheriff to serve you at your home like you did to me.
Oh and expect a bill from me for the time I spent correcting your Excel handy work. Well actually it will come via the judge since I know how much you like to avoid me.
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5 comments:
Don't forget to breath. Sending you some good karma.
Have a good night.
What? Do I appear agitated? (tongue-in-cheek). Yeah after those posts and reviewing/fixing the crazy lawyer math I was a little on edge. So on Friday I made a fair dent, after several days of this BS. At the end of Friday, I took a breath, and decided to have a good night, went to a concert, old star that I like, in a small venue, it was a great show, I had a great night, thanks for the suggestion. You have a great night too.
Who was the star???
Well, I almost put that in the post, but then a Google Search would tell anyone where I live, so for now I’ll answer that question by email. It’s kind of interesting to see people in small venues vs large, the show has a whole different feel to it. The performer was very laid back, explained some history behind the lyrics, tossed in some dry British humor (with an accent). You could actually see them. You could walk up close to the stage and photograph (but a bouncer would ask you to move along after a few). It was neat. In the past I’ve seen Pat Benetar, Aimee Mann, Indigo Girls, Blondie, another band from down under (name escapes me) in small venues. I listen to a lot of other music, that’s just who I’ve had a chance to see in small venues. It’s pretty cool. So if you’re into older music, I’ll email the name and you can see if they will be touring near you.
Oh and speaking of large venues, while I worked at the University I knew this wild child who was quite a free spirit. One of the things this petite girl did for extra income (and to get in free) was Stadium Security. As far as I know she wasn’t into Marshal Arts, so I’m thinking she controlled the crowd by charm (like she controlled most other things in her life). When the Rolling Stones came to town for a Stadium Concert, she asked a bunch of people if they wanted to help (with a rowdier crowd than a ball game). So I said OK, sign me up, Well I did get in free, I got paid, I did have a pass to get around to places I never could have gone, and I heard the concert just fine (like anyone else within a mile). BUT, I couldn’t keep my eyes on the band, because the crowd needed controlling. Had to help with a fight in the next section and a cocaine dealer bust in my section. Stupid guy didn’t know what hit him, we were trained how to notify the police and help distract the perp. Think the guy was using his own product. The police hauled his butt directly to jail.
Oh I remember now, it was the lead singer of Men at Work that I saw in a small venue. Also saw Joan Jett too.
Another down under band I like is Midnight Oil, but I haven't seen them live.
I've also seen some bands at a mid-size venue (5-10,000) with really close seats (some front row) - INXS, Go Go Girls, Deepche Mode & others.
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