In a conversation, someone made a suggestion that would show the court my capacity for love of my son. Everyone knows of Mother’s Love, but do people understand a Father’s Love. My son would describe it in the stereotypical male way – "that mushy stuff". While males express their emotions differently, it is no less important.
The surprising part is I have been told that all the court officers have no doubt of my love for my son, but apparently that doesn’t make me a good parent. In fact I’ve been told there is no doubt that I have his best interests (BIC) in mind. Every time I try to pin them down they keep telling me about no doubts of this or that.
So what is it? Some old grudge? I pissed someone off, I didn’t kiss someone’s ring (ass)? The answer is I didn't play the game the way they wanted me to. I was different than what they expected. Why should a Father want to see his son more than every other weekend anyway? That is their standard, but it's not mine. The court gets hung up on something and they just can’t let it go, like a pit-bull, no emotion, no common sense, just reflexes. Of course it helps that the hired pit-bull bitch representing my wife keeps ranting, fabricating, exaggerating, etc.
So the court expects you to play the perfect game. Hmm, another cognitive distortion – perfection. As if? As if the court is so perfect. As if my wife is so perfect. As if the perfect game has any relation to being even a mediocre parent let alone a good one. The fact is, their game, their perceived perfections and imperfections have squat to do with parenting or BIC. That’s why families are so screwed up these days.
That is our legacy for the next generation. The stakes are high when playing games that can screw up a generation. We’ll all admit that some day. I declare it and accuse it today. May God help those who don't understand how they are hurting the next generation.
So you may ask, What's love got to do with it (parenting)? Absouletly Nothing (according to the court). And since they barely know him and certainly don't love him and yet they feel the need to make very drastic decsions relating to his welfare, well you can see that is truely their belief. It is very instructional to understand their beliefs because that drives their actions and their actions can drive you nuts.
And then these ignorant people complain and ask where are the Father's?
You've chased them away.
Status: Second Draft - Updated 01/02 2:15 pm
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3 comments:
Sorry to hear of your situation. I wish I could tell you it will be over soon and painless. That would be a lie.
I have endured $60K in legal fees, never see my children and pay half my income in child support to my abusive Former Husband (FH).
It happens more to fathers... but it also happens to mothers.
I hope your case does not drag on and does not ruin your bond with your son.
Sincerely,
Cathie
FL Family Court Victim since 94 and ongoing
I do realize it happens to women too. I try to stay gender neutral in my info, It is too bad there are so many miscarriages of justice out there. And the costs are ridiculous.
I’ve been lucky to be able to maintain a very good bond with my son in my limited time with him. See Are we having fun.
Good Luck to you cathierene
The whole family court has never and will never make any sense to me. It is like they are punishing the good parents and rewarding the bad. Good for you for wanting to see your son as much as possible. Thank goodness this boy will grow up and see what you went through for him. He will understand this one day. Stay strong and don't give up.
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