Nutritious?

So my son has a snow day and I get to see him a little bit early. My visitation was cut back 30 minutes (to 7 pm) so my son could go to bed earlier. I thought kids went to bed later as they got older (seven years old). My niece is 2 years younger and she goes to bed later.

I get to see him earlier despite it being one of those things my lawyer didn’t think to slip in when they took away the 30 minutes. Luckily I did think to slip it in and they left it alone, since most days he’s in school and I can’t get him at 2 pm.

Hundreds of dollars per hour and they can’t think of that. Why? Because you’ve got to care, to be interested, to give two shits.

So my wife brings him over at 2 pm, he runs into the house, and she hands me a Burger King bag. Yep, he hadn’t eaten lunch yet at 2 pm. She got him a cheeseburger & fries (hey why not the healthy option of applesauce or apple slices?). She did get him milk.

Doesn’t sound like a big deal, a little fast food now and then doesn’t hurt. But this is coming from my wife, who accused me in court of not feeding him or feeding him unhealthy food. This false accusation was broadcast loudly among all the court officers.

Now, I’m no executive chef (one lives next door), but I can do more than boil water. Puleeeze, I can feed myself, and my son knows how to open the refrigerator. There are plenty of foods that are not hard to prepare.

So let’s compare. Burger, fries, milk from the nutritious nut (aka wife). For dinner at my house (aka the unhealthy male), yogurt, cottage cheese, roast beef with gravy on the side, corn, apple juice, a smoothie and chocolate pudding.

Guess he was hungry, he usually is when he comes over. Some of that seems like an odd combination, but he choose it and as long as its not bad, I let him have a variety. Whoa, he’ll get fat. Well actually he’s tall and skinny and he’ll stop when he’s full.

So what did my hundreds of dollar an hour lawyer say in my defense? “Well I feed my kids fast food and hot dogs”. Wow, with a defense like that no wonder I’m being screwed. When I found out my lawyer’s “defense”, I responded, “Well great for you, but I don’t feed my son that way. Why didn’t you tell them that it wasn’t true?”

Good question. Because lawyers don’t let the truth muddle their thoughts. It isn’t part of their game.