Monday, January 22, 2007

Sucker Bet

While I was feelin good, I forgot to look at the calendar. I’m stressin, over a sucker bet. You want in? Only two days.

The bet is ten grand or my house? Stakes too high? I don’t get a choice, that’s the bet. Default on a 403B loan and owe the IRS ten grand in taxes and penalty or pay it up and risk that my other assets won’t be unfrozen in time to avoid foreclosure.

Probably doesn’t matter, my wife promised to throw my ass out of the house, promised that I would live under a bridge. And that’s the way its been heading. I staved it off with the 403B loan, but I may have just delayed the inevitable. The delay game is meant to drive me under.

I had so much saved for retirement and my son’s future. All down the toilet. If she can’t have it all, then neither can I (or my son). I didn’t even get a choice, I tried settlement offers over 18 months ago, no response, just delay. You can’t settle with a deaf-mute, or a brick wall. Well, she can explain it to him.

I shouldn’t stress. Shit, I always come up with something (that’s what people close to me say). I’m feelin tapped out though. Don’t know how much I have left in me. Wish I had a few time outs, so I could recoup my strength. Guess I’ll take Leigh’s advice, breath.

Stressin, is also a lack of faith in God and my own abilities. I try, but the challenge is constant and unrelenting. And a rigged game to boot. Give me a fair shot, and I’ll kick ass.

Then there’s the prep for the big day. It’s so hard to concentrate when you’re stressed. This is one I really shouldn’t worry about, with my detailed knowledge of the issues, and actually caring I should be able to kick ass by comparison to either lawyer. But it’s big, if something goes wrong, I could go under.

God give me the strength and wisdom I need to defeat this evil. I ask in your son’s name for the benefit of my son.

PS: And thanks for the reader support. Kind words bring a smile and that relieves stress.

PPS: I’m working in my home office, got the tunes rattling the walls, got to hook up some satellite speakers here. I took a bunch of photos, I’ll have to post. You know what would be funny, a photo of me behind the case files, eight cases high, I can hide my 6’2” frame behind them and just stick my arms out. Not sure if I can stack them that high (pretty heavy) and I’ll need distance and a wide angle. (smiling now).
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4 comments:

Leigh said...

God gives us only what we can handle. He has faith in you now you need to have faith in yourself. Keep breathing, keep putting that one foot infront of the other.

I did like the picture ideas, I really think you should go for it.

January 22, 2007
Determined said...

JQ75, I really feel for you.

What a scumbag your ex wife is for depleting not only your savings, but your son's as well! It takes years to save up for a child's education - I can't believe that she would waste her child's money on legal garbage like this.
After reading this post, now I am certain that she's the one with the emotional problem.

Why can't the courts see this for what it is? It's almost as if no one cares and everyone is out to make money.

January 22, 2007
guttergirl said...

I understand money troubles can be scary and even though it all works out in the end, getting there can be terrifying. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong my friend.

January 22, 2007
JQ75 said...

Liegh - God must have one strong opinion about my abilities. But then I’ve always been a perfectionist and self doubter (paradoxically, they do go together and drive each other).

I had to deal with the sucker bet today and it wasn’t pretty. I was breathing (or blowing air out) and as I was aware of stressful breathing I couldn’t help but think of you and smile at your advice. Sounds simple, but it is so true. We forget these simple truths when we’re under pressure. It helps that friends remind us.

I haven’t taken the case files photo yet.. But I did take the photos of my son’s activates from the “Yeah I’m a Bad Dad” post. I’ll post them when I get a chance, this weekend for sure.

Sol – neither can I sometimes. But she can be stubborn and blind to reason. She won’t listen to me and her lawyer has her delusional that she can do something for her. She never was good with math, I almost think that she figures I can pay her and the lawyers with the same money – eg 200%. The other thing is she can be so naïve, she may actually believe that there is no other choice. The words negotiation and compromise are not in her vocabulary. She acts as if everything is peachy.

But then again she is such a good actress and liar I really don’t know what to believe. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt (why, I don’t really know) but deep down I think this is so premeditated. I have looked back at my schedule and found notes I made on her threats and they are so close to what’s actually happening now. At the time I thought she was blowing off steam, and afterwards she was all nice and said it wasn’t true. But the similarities are scary.

As for the courts. Solaris You know that answer. You’re case should have been in and out and how blind have they been? Threatening depositions, your Blog. Really crazy crap and to gain what?

The courts are Blind, they are uncaring and it is all about money ! That’s just a fact. Why? As my lawyer would say “cuz they can”.

Guttergirl – Yeah, ain’t that the truth? When I had this problem during the summer I actually got a foreclosure notice plastered on my door. It was beyond what words can describe. And the lawyers who are party to creating this problem wash their hands clean of it.

My lawyer calls today and says the other party will meet with him after we meet tomorrow, but he expects nothing to come of it (except a bill). Oh, I say, thanks for telling me. I’ll just change my middle name to “Pressure” (and P is really my middle initial). He laughs. What a clueless bastard.

Hey thanks for the posts…

January 22, 2007

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