Freedom of Religion

"OF" not "FROM"

It's just one word, but it changes all the meaning. When ever anyone wants to express their religion the secularist propagandizers sternly remind us of "Separation of Church and State". Their message relies on most people's ignorance of history.

The founding forefathers were very religious, not atheists, not securalists, not communist, not totalitarian. They were not telling people they couldn't practice religion, they encouraged religious expression. The term "Separation of Church and State" dates to a time when the "State" was tightly tied to a religion, many European countries were tied to Roman Catholicism, others like England sponsored their own religion. So in some countries only the Catholic religion was tolerated, if you chose another religion you were persecuted by the government. America was founded on the freedom to practice your own religion and vowed not to select a "State Sponsored" religion.

No offense to my protestant breathern, but the first time I entered the "Church of Ireland" which was really England's State Sponsored religion invading Ireland and their attempt to route out Catholicism, I was dismayed that rather than religious monuments the thing that jumped out at me was a large array of Flags bearing the Coat of Arms of Heads of State. What? Who is being worshiped here I wondered - God or Government? And that is the problem with State Sponsored Religion, it attempts to remove your freedom of belief's and transplant government control under the guise of religion. Now I assume that the Anglican religions believe in God rather than Queen these days, but it wasn't always that way.

But my concern this day is how perverted the secularist propaganda is. Rather than sponsoring a particular brand of Christianity it is, in the false name of freedom, sponsoring atheism or secularism reaching the point of worshiping the State itself. Make no mistake about it, this interference in personal freedom is what led people to flee their home and seek safe haven in America. How ironic that 200 years later people twist and distort history and try to stifle our religious freedom in the names of our founding forefathers. Oh how angry their spirits must be, surely they are rolling over in their graves in frustration and disgust. And how could this fraud be perpetrated on the public? Our founding forefathers envisioned a participative government, not passive citizenry being led to slaughter like sheep.

So if I don't know you, I wish you Happy Holidays for whatever your beliefs dictate this time of year. If you are a fellow Catholic or Christian then I specifically wish you a very Merry Christmas as we look forward to the joy of Jesus Christ's birth and his second coming. if you are a Jewish friend I wish you (a belated) Happy Hanukkah, we differ in our view of Jesus, but we share a common Old Testament and belief in the Almighty God.

And no matter what you believe I wish you all a prosperous and Happy New Year and the hope that citizens will switch off reality TV, so they can participate and take control of our government as was intended. Don't drink the Kool Aide, question the propaganda (organized lies), its not pretty, but it is reality. Good night and may God bless you even if you don't believe.

Is Mommy Stupid?

That's what my son asked me one day. I've told this story many times, but I guess I never posted it. I struggled to keep a straight face and asked "Why do you ask that?"

We have two abandoned railroads near my house and my son and I often hike through the surrounding woods and on the tracks. Sometimes we find interesting things like railroad spikes. They are of course rusty, but not sharp or flaking off. The first time he found a spike he couldn't wait to show it off to his mom.

Her reaction, she recoiled back from him as if he was holding a deadly snake, she yelled to put that dirty rusty thing down. He wanted to take it to her apartment but she would not have that and said NO! I soothed his hurt ego and said that it would be better to keep it at my house.

So his answer was that "Mommy says that I could get tetanus and die from touching a railroad spike and I just know that's not true". I thought for a moment and rejected my first response "Mommy's not stupid she's just crazy" without saying it out loud. So I gave him the scientifically honest answer as I always do - "A long time ago people could get very sick and die from tetanus. You should not pick up rusty things with sharp edges because if they cut you and the rust gets into your blood stream you could get an infection. If you got cut from something rusty you should tell us right away and we'd take you to the hospital and you'd get a tetanus shot so you wouldn't get sick. It would hurt, but you'd get better and wouldn't die, not these days, we've been able to treat this for some time. A railroad spike usually doesn't have sharp rusty edges, but always look first and ask if you aren't sure."

One time when we were walking the railroad tracks my son got excited and said "Oh, grandma and I left some spikes here". He was talking about my ex's mother who apparently didn't share her daughter's tetanus phobia. When they found the spikes, she told her own mother NO! So my son put them somewhere he could find them later and we did.

So that's just an example of what my son and I have to put up with. Why don't the courts see this as unhealthy over-protectionism? Well they just like to error on the side of caution, for BIC of course. But then by definition "unhealthy over-protectionism" is an unhealthy over reaction, it is NOT in the best interest of the child (BIC) at all.

But that's just common sense and that has no place in the justice system (jqism).

My ex is a control freak

A reader asks:

Is she always there when you get to see your son? Do you always have to have your joy at seeing your son dampened by seeing her too?

She never wanted me to have my own visitation with my son, but the court order does allow me to see him without her after school on three nights.

She will often "suggest" what I should do with my son or what he should eat. She questions him and I after nearly every visit. Not that she's so damn good herself, she has left him in questionable care, he has gotten hurt in her care, and he eats more fast food with her than I. Why? Double standard. What she does is OK.

One of the big restrictions is justified by my sleep apnea. She fears that I will be too fatigued to care for him or that I will get in a car accident. But I am very aware and am treated for sleep apnea and it hasn't been a problem. She on the other hand used to be asleep when I got home from 3rd shift and my son was up, unsupervised. Why? You don't need a sleep disorder to be fatigued, and she often is in the morning to the point where he is rushed to school at the last minute. What is the difference? My condition is documented AND treated, hers isn't!

Two months ago she decided that she wanted more control and has stopped him from coming to my house after school. So in the mean time I only see him once a week with her present, a violation of the existing court ordered visitation.

Yes that does dampen the visit and yes it does piss me off. Like I said in my Happy Birthday post it is awkward. And that's an understatement. But I focus on him. And hopefully an upcoming hearing is going to deny her request for more restrictive visitation.

But that's what she wants, for her to be in control and for me to be uncomfortable. I have often said, she has more control over me now than when we were married. But it's not just me. She is very controlling of my son and I'm sure that he's uncomfortable too.

She has many untreated phobias, germs too. She always has her bottle of Purell (hand sanitizer) that she uses way too much of. And sure enough it came out in the bowling alley. When he was a child she could not watch him swing, not because he would swing too high, but just because of the repetitive movement on the swing. I have a swing in my back yard that he uses and he uses the school playground at recess, but his mom doesn't swing.

I have this little glimmer of hope, that this new magistrate will see her for what she is, will see her untreated phobias and unreasonable restrictions and force them both to be fixed. Sometimes she can push things just too far and they could back fire. It would be so good if this magistrate finally applied a little justice to an unjust situation.

A bright spot

Our city had a holiday celebration for kids yesterday. I met my son there, then at the magistrates' suggestion we did something fun afterwards. He suggested bowling or a movie. My ex chimed in that my son loves to bowl.

At the holiday party I gave my son a super bouncing ball that looked like a little basketball (that I got while I was downtown for court) and I got him two washers that he needed so he could fix something for his Mom better. He played games, won prizes, saw a magic show and had fun.

Imagine my surprise when I asked so when did you bowl last - about a year. If he likes it so much how come she never takes him to do it? She decided she didn't want to bowl (she's done it a lot more than I) but I did just because I wanted to do something with my son. I think it's been a five or ten years since I bowled. Never bowled much.

Why don't I take him bowling? My visitation (before her recent reduction) was so limited that I only feed him and supervise his homework. I never get him for a whole day, or overnight, or on the weekends. In the summer, I get him after his summer camp, which actually cuts my visitation even shorter (in violation of the visitation order, but my ex gives orders better than following them).

So we did have a lot of fun. I had a strike in each of the first two games, two strikes in a row the third game and five strikes in the fourth game (guess I was warming up). My son's score was keeping close to mine and he got a strike in the last game. She shrieked approvingly, he covered his ears.

The most fun of course was spending time with him...

You want that Journalized?

I got extra sleep before this week's hearing and luckily I was able to think on my feet, despite the high stress of my son's visitation being on the line.

I fired a lawyer for screwing up a journalization which caused a verbal visitation agreement to be cut in half. So its odd that I had the exact opposite situation this week.

The magistrate observed and warned my ex that she was in violation of court ordered visitation. We made a compromise agreement for (reduced) visitation as I respond to her "concerns". Her lawyer asked for a visitation journalization form to protect "me" in case my ex reneged on even this reduced visitation.

First my docket is long enough and I don't need more entries in it. But there's a bigger reason, why document a reduced interim visitation schedule that could supersede my existing visitation order?

So I said that her lawyer's hand written notes of the interim agreement would be acceptable and asked her for them. This had the following advantages:

• Legally my existing visitation order is still in force
• The Magistrate viewed me positively as being cooperative and flexible
• I have the lawyer's handwritten notes as proof of our interim agreement
  
• The magistrate would view my ex reneging on the agreement negatively so its unlikely I need the "protection" of it being journalized

The rule has always been "get it in writing" and for the most part that is true, but remember that there is always an exception to the rule. And I think this is one of them.

Its not my job man

I don't do computers

BULLSHIT!!! That makes as much sense as I don't do VCRs or calculators. It's the 21st century damn it, use today's tools or go be a covered wagon wheel maker. Computer's are today's tools, checkout clerks need to use them properly for minimum wage so lawyers making 30-50 times more need to use them too. The minimum wage wage checkout clerk can't make a $10 error in grocery's without being fired, so why should a lawyer making so much more be able to make $10,000 errors and expect not only to be employed, but to be paid for making such a careless mistake.

The direct product of the lawyer is the legal agreements and property division so when these are unusable what the hell is he being paid for? Today's tool isn't a quill pen and abacus, its Word and Excel.

But lawyers are so caught up in their legal education they feel that knowing how to properly use a computer is beneath them. Well it isn't. Its just a stupid excuse for being ignorant and lazy. Now if you have some national celebrity lawyer, maybe he can't be bothered, then get a staff, otherwise do it yourself. But if you are going to do it yourself, know what the hell you are doing. Actually in corporate law you will usually see support staff doing much of the computer work at reduced cost.

But the idea that the lawyer can charge top buck, then provide an inferior product because he is too proud to learn how to use a computer is completely unacceptable.

There is a serious cost to the client for computer misuse, first in inefficiency causing inflated bills and second in errors made and more time to correct them.

In my case, I was billed for inefficient computer use by my lawyer, then we argued about his mistakes and I was billed for the argument, then when he finally admitted the error, I was billed again for his inefficient correction. In what other profession can you make 300% as a reward for screwing up? In divorce law you pay for hours not results (jqism).


Status: First Draft - Last Updated 12/13/08 6 PM

Math for Moron Lawyers

While I'm on the topic of computer use and lawyers, I might as well mention their other deficient skill - Spreadsheets.

I've mentioned this in a few other posts:

• Dumb and Dumber - Commingling mistake, columns are cheap, don't commingle. Offered assistance, lawyer was too proud to accept it.
  


• There's Big Bucks in Checking Your Lawyers Work - Cutting opposition fees charged to you, caring vs. carelessness, tax deductible by calling it alimony, misuse of Excel, saved $40,000 in one month by checking lawyers work.
  


• Lawyers can’t do math - Math done in text footnotes, careless errors, dated spreadsheet shows it was held back to cause delays.
  

Divorce Lawyers are equally inept with spreadsheets. Again just using the computer like a typewriter without regard to its proper use. Their spreadsheets are so inept that it probably isn't good to try to fix it. Get a copy just to prove their ineptedness. You most likely will need to design it from scratch. Extra work? Yes! But as I said in the above posts it can cost you serious bucks.

So what should you do that your lawyer won't?

• Design the spreadsheet
• Let the spreadsheet do all the calculations
  
• Use control and named cells
• Use variables rather than hard coded constants (eg split = 50%)
  
• Use extra (hidden) columns (or rows) to audit or calculate intermediate results
• Use the scenario manager rather than multiple duplicate sheets
• Use data validation and conditional cell formatting
• Use Audit Trace feature to validate correctness
• Don't commingle unlike funds (liquid/illiquid, different tax consequences, pensions, owed vs. controlled)
• Save each version
  

You are doing this to protect yourself, not to encourage your lawyer to slide out of his fiduciary responsibility to you.

You should consider outsourcing financial issues to a CPA trained in divorce issues, they are better trained in math.

And what should your lawyer be doing?

• All of the above !!!
• Learn how to use their computer efficiently.
  
• Don't keep reinventing the wheel, use templates.
• Realize that legal advice is only half their job, producing usable d0cuments and accurate property settlements is equally important and requires proper computer skills.
• If they can't or won't do it, then delegate it to competent support staff or outsource it to a divorce trained CPA.
  

Status: Second Draft - Last Updated 12/13/08 6:30 PM

Maintainable Documentation

Some divorce documentation, especially the parenting plan need to be referenced, maintained, and updated over a period of a decade or more.

If you are lazy and get paid regardless off results, as most divorce lawyers are, then you slap a piece of shit document together full of tabs, spaces, maybe using auto page numbering. Without a template or structure it takes several times longer to produce and update, but that's OK because you bill by the hour, not the results. The client pays more for your poor skills and productivity.

I received a document so bad, it's outline numbering botched terribly that it actually created a legal ambiguity. After correcting and complaining several times, I told my lawyer to leave it that way (since I was sure he wasn't going to fix it) so that I could call the document's validity into question in the future and attempt to exercise the severability clause. Now you'd think he'd acquiesce in embarrassment and fix it, Nope! He'd rather show his power and control over his client than do the right thing legally.

I gave up on my lawyer being efficient and doing as I asked, I could see he was just a stubborn ass. So I did it myself and it already helped at my hearing yesterday in finding the answer more quickly and accurately to the Magistrate's questions.

What did I do? Nothing a current elementary school student couldn't do, common sense and organization. I took my lawyer's haphazard shitty document and carefully edited it without changing its meaning. I changed all hard coded tabs, numbering, etc to paragraph positioning, widow control (keep with next, keep together), defined styles, use of HEADING n styles and auto numbering.

This helps make the document more readable. The use of HEADING n styles allows use of the Outline view to focus on sections of the document and also allows you to generate an automatic Table of Contents (important when they run over 90 pages).

Was that overkill? A waste of time? NO!! Just one advantage in preparation, one need for an update and the effort is paid for. And the odds of that in a decade are guaranteed several times over.

But why, oh why, do I have to fix what I paid so much for? It shouldn't be. The legal document is the end product that is charged at a very high price. Its internal organization, readability and maintainability are every bit as important as the punctuation and wording. Anything less is careless, sloppy, and of questionable value.

And when I get the time, I will take my former lawyers to court to answer that question. They think they took me for a sucker. We'll see who gets the last laugh! Vengeance, or in this case justice, is a meal best served cold, when my anger subsides and I can define their transgressions clearly and without emotion.

Status: Last Updated 12/13/08 6:40 PM

Surprise

Well it wasn't quite a victory, but it turned out much better than my expectations based on my experiences.

First I arrived on time, despite my car not being available and spending over 2 hours to get to the court building before it even opened. My ex and her lawyer arrived late.

I mentioned to the Central Motions Scheduler and to the Magistrate that I had never been properly served with the motions and that my calls for copies of them went unanswered. The magistrate gave me his copy while we waited for the tardy Plaintiff.

He chastised Plaintiff counsel for improper service and said that it was not fair to continue without it. I told him that even though I had little time to review it, I was prepared to move forward to resolve the issue. He handed me a waiver of service and thanked me for my cooperation.

He discussed my visitation and expressed surprise at its restrictiveness. When my ex tried to brag that she allowed some visitation in the last two months, he pointed out that she was in violation of an existing court order for visitation and while he understood her complaints they didn't "rise to the level of preventing visitation" and that "you need to make arrangements for the holidays". Sensing that the magistrate was serious her lawyer pushed her to make specific commitments.

Knowing my ex, I anticipated her complaints, sight unseen, and had prepared a response. The magistrate was impressed with the actions I took and my response. When he asked questions regarding the parenting plan, I had quick answers referencing a special annotated and cross indexed version, while my ex and her lawyer looked unprepared.

He strongly implied that one motion would be denied and the other two should be negotiated. This magistrate was more Father Friendly than anyone I have seen in the court system. I have to go back next month and I will be very prepared again. Hopefully we will resolve her complaint then.

I wondered why this magistrate hadn't handled the parenting plan the first time around, but the answer to that is easy, he makes the lawyers work, he pushes them to respond. The lawyers much preferred my absentee judge who wasn't even their 60% of the time, much less push them to do anything.

After four years in court I'm still observing and learning new things about how this "system" "works". And this time I wasn't intimidated to use my digital recorder either.

Back to Court

Four fuckin years already and no end in sight... Just fuckin shoot me (JFSM).

As I mentioned, my ex decided to stop my visitation and file against me in court for my birthday last month. The restrictive parenting plan in place now cost me over $20,000 in legal fees, my total legal fees exceeded $100,000, I have no more money for lawyers or anything else.

So early tomorrow morning (12/11) I head to the familiar court system by myself to go up against not one lawyer but two who want to keep my son from me. Parasites sucking the life out of families for profit, kind of makes prostitution look respectable.

Luckily my corrupt judge, the Dis-Honorable A.J.R., is busy moving into his newer bigger digs, his reward for kissing lawyer ass and screwing the public who was dumb enough to elect his famous last name. So he won't hear the case, its delegated to a magistrate.

Someone commented that I appeared agitated yesterday. Yeah I'm fuckin aggitated, I'm reading and preparing for the hearing. Oh you shouldn't... No choice, no fuckin choice. That's my miserable life now, a bunch of divorce industry assholes bossing this 52 year old around like a 15 year old. FUCKIN BASTARDS !!!

I'd mention my strategy here, but some dumb bitch has taken it on herself to be contacting the parties. That's OK, when I get time I'll sue her meddling ass too.