Alec Baldwin on the View

Well I missed 20/20, but I TIVOed "ALEC BALDWIN and TALK SHOWS" and got the view. When the program came up, the thumbs down rating showed, but my TIVO program over rode it. Thank God for fast forward, geez, tinkling on toilet seats and jiggling butts for the first 28 minutes. Alec came out and gave the jiggling butt girl money and kissed each woman. So the gals went gaga over Alec, not hostile as I heard Diane Sawyer of 20/20 was.

Alec

They started the chit chat complimenting him on his Emmy. Then they talked about the nasty voicemail that Alec left in frustration for his daughter when he couldn't reach her.

So the meat of the interview started at 35 minute mark.

Alec started talking about PAS. He was careful to not disparage Kim.

He mentioned that he was held to the myth of perfect parenting, situations that wouldn't be of any concern in a normal marriage were exploited as "abuse". He said that PAS makes normal parenting "abusive". If you try to discipline your child by saying "Stop misbehaving or I'll take away video, TV, and cell phone", in a normal marriage, your wife would say "listen to your father", with PAS, its off to court you go as an "abusive" parent.

In the last generation, father's worked and were uninvolved, and mother's parented full time. That's the way they did things. In this generation, especially after a divorce, a father may want to take a more active role in parenting. Alec didn't mention it, but I'd say that as more women entered the workforce, traditional father breadwinner, mother housewife roles changed. Now father's are more active because the mother is no longer a stay at home mom, even while married. Another trend I believe is important, is that the higher divorce rate also contributes to higher father involvement. In the older generation, divorces had a reason, a grounds, so the separation seemed more rigid. Today's "no-fault" divorces seem to make a lot of "involuntarily divorced father's" who really didn't want to leave their children in my opinion and they feel a sense of profound loss in that these outsiders have wrestled the ones they love from them.

Alec advocates for an immediate default of 50/50 parenting unless the Father really doesn't want it. Many court systems give lip service to this, but most still follow the old standard, every other weekend visitation for the newly demoted NCP, former Father, and nearly sole (residential) custody to the mother. If the mother wants to make accusations, then the father's visitation (as mine is) can be limited even further or eliminated all together.

Courts have given lip service to abandoning the "tender years doctrine" which says that only mothers can take care of infants. Aside from breast feeding there wasn't any care my wife gave our son that I didn't, even after working a 14 hour third shift with my 100 mile commute because she was "tired". This was even when my son was sleeping through the nights, so I don't know why my wife was so damn tired, but I'd come home to see her sleeping while my young son was up and wandering the house. Interestingly, Alec took the position that the "tender years doctrine" should be respected because no Father would wrestle away a toddler from his needed maternal connection 50% of the time. Hmmm... Lucky I was around to pick up the slack for my son's tender years. Well my son just turned 9 so that issue has changed. Now, as far as I know, when he wakes up before her, he wanders unsupervised. At least that was the explanation when his reading log showed 45 minutes of morning reading and tardy arrival at school. Yeah that single parenting thing works real good (sarcasm).

Alec stated that there should be an immediate order for co-parenting at the time of filing for divorce. Alec also stated that when PAS arises, then "bang" order therapy to prevent it.

Barbara mentioned that Alec was so distraught by this process that he contemplated suicide and that his book even mentions the ways that he had thought to commit suicide. This agonizing time occurred when the voicemail to his daughter was released. Alec explained that orders were in place, not just a verbal agreement, but orders as a result of a full trial. Alec said at that time Kim violated orders frequently. But enforcement of these orders is "Ala Cart", the victim must pay a lawyer and sue the victimizer to enforce the orders. Alec said the court orders are "not worth the paper they are printed on". I refer to court orders as ass wipe, that's the only useful purpose they could possibly serve.

Alec could have sued Kim over her court order violations, but he didn't. And for his generosity, he was rewarded with the voicemail tape being released to the media. It was then that he realized that this was all about how to abuse him and that he couldn't do anything to reduce the hostility.

Alec didn't blame it all on Kim, "she was in the hands of lawyers" who were hell bent antagonism. Alec said that "Millions were wasted that could have gone to his daughter".

PAS

Its very interesting that the radical feminists oppose PAS because they say it is only to allow abusers to get off. Alec mentions, Father's rights advocates don't want abusers to endanger children, they just don't want women to get away with lying that responsible fathers are abusers when they are not. This is a broad and complex topic I will take up in another post.

Two more Guests

Two more guests joined came out at the 52 minute mark, one was a mother estranged from her child due to PAS, and xx American Coalition of Fathers & Children

xx

The estranged mother mentioned that her children were turned against her and claimed to be "fearful" of her. Alec echoed that this is the frequent method used, a supposed "fear" of the alienated parent is claimed.

Alec said -- Judges afraid of lawyers, they let them do it. Judges pick a side, can't undo it

xx

Barbara Walter's asked, "What has this done the children?", and as Alec was going to answer, she promptly told him they were out of time. Too bad, because this is the biggest problem of all, the damage to the children, our next generation. For what? Lazy judges and greedy lawyers?


Status: First Draft - Last Updated 09/29/08 4 am
I will review this program in detail and update this post.

Alec Baldwin's Book

Alec Baldwin wrote a book titled A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce based on his and three other men's experiences that will be released soon. This post is based on the excerpt released here. In my previous post I was quoting Alec in his ABC interview. Here in this post I am quoting from his book excerpt. Where emphasis is added it is my own, where indented comments appear that too is my response.

Alec's Book

"Because of the scope of the problem this book explores, the issues raised could never be fully articulated through my own case alone. Therefore I have chosen three men to share their own stories and perspectives. All of them have changed their names and the specifics of their identities. One of the subjects is an amalgam of different individuals' stories, including my own."

According to the excerpt the following topics are examined in his book:

• Prenuptial agreements
  
• The decision to file for divorce
• Divorce strategies and assessments for couples
  
• Selecting an attorney. Is word of mouth all its cracked up to be?
• Private mediation versus going to trial.
• Observations on judges, forensic accountants, custody evaluations and evaluators, collateral witnesses, child psychologists and other court appointed therapists.
• An examination of actual custody/ visitation strategies.
• The newly divorced parent's life and the hopeful prayer of constructive co-parenting.
  
• The political influences on current family law. How the political apparatus of lawyers, judges and feminist groups assault fatherhood and impact custody.

Alec mentions that his book covers the range of high to low profile and high to low asset divorces (no doubt because of his three contributors).

Alec's excerpt

I found myself nodding in agreement as I read each paragraph of the first half of the excerpt which discusses his feelings as he beat his head against the stone wall of the system. The second half is his personal story of how they met, married, then things went awry.

Alec describes the intense emotions, the need to vent to anyone who even brings it up, the toll of the intense emotions that finally leave you "spent" and "hollowed out".

This can not be good for a person, their health, their relationships (personal and professional), or their ability to contribute or be productive in society.

He goes on to describe the spent feeling and your thought that you just want to put this behind you.

I had always wondered how this widely spread injustice hasn't resulted in rioting in the streets, and I think Alec has hit on it. The injustice is so traumatic because it involves such basic needs as family, that almost like a post traumatic stress reaction, the victims are unable to fight back. Again, this is just a terrible thing to do to a person, with wide consequences.

"They "wrote off" not only their first marriages, but their children as well. Many went on to remarry. The chance to "make things right" meant starting another family." He went on to say that he could never understand this.

Actually Alec is contradicting himself. He admits that his anguish was so intense he contemplated suicide. I'd have say that is the ultimate "write off".

Before you criticize the people Alec is referring to, consider just how much anguish a person is going through to come to the point of "writing off" those they love or contemplating suicide. Hopefully no one who hasn't been through this can even imagine it.

"The problem lies not only with antagonistic lawyers who perpetuate conflict, but also with the judges who sit idly by and do nothing to rein them in."

Why would anyone in his right mind think the solution to a troubled marriage would be more antagonism? The problem is they have allowed greed to override their mind. The court takes a bad situation and makes it so much worse. But if the judges MANAGED the case and the lawyers tactics the situation could be improved.

Divorce court is as much a solution to a troubled marriage as gas is a solution to a fire. It makes it infinitely worse. (jqism)

"The truth is that we maintain a system in which destroying one's ex-spouse, not effectively resolving conflict, is the order of the day."

The reason for this is a very strong profit motive. This needs to be removed. We can no longer afford to reward bad behavior.

"As all divorce litigants should eventually realize, attacking the other party is not in anyone's interest, especially when children are involved."

How interesting that Alec understands this while Kim abuses it.

"Everyone knows little good ever comes out of our legal system, only varying degrees of bad."

I believe this is true, but I feel even stronger that this is exactly why they are in need of massive changes to bring their actions in line with their forgotten mission.

"I ignored the less than subtle message that tells non-custodial parents, especially fathers, to abandon such hopes and face the realities of this system. Walk away, we're told."

When the system gets too big for its britches it imposes its will on its victims as a demonstration of its power over them, rather than serving its constituents. This is clearly a system out of control, needing to be reeled in and get in touch with its true mission.

"I had a contentious divorce because I wanted a meaningful custody of my daughter."

This is exactly when a contentious divorce does the most damage and not coincidently is the most profitable to the divorce industry.

Status: Rough Draft - Last Updated 09/23/08 3 am

Corrupt, Inefficient, Lazy, Stupid

Enough to drive you to Suicide...

You may recognize these words if you've read or seen Alec Baldwin recently as he is referring to his divorce from Hell.

Welcome to our club Alec... They don't interview us for national TV. I wish I would have seen it but I had a power failure. In most cases celebrities could escape the mundane crap regular Joe's are subjected too. But since the divorce system is driven by the judiciary and greed, they can't escape either.

Alec's Quotes

Here are some things Alec said and my response...

"I don't care if the judges and the lawyers die of heart attacks in the process of getting their job done."

Not very likely Alec. These jerks live the good life, better than you. You work long hours on set, they work short hours and adjourn to golf. Their job is to pass out shit and take none, and from their side, they have very low stress.

I pick this quote because its probably a common misconception, so many people probably figure if their was a simple solution we'd see it. Well there is a simple solution, but the resistance will be immense.

• Hold all divorce industry people accountable to new higher ethics standards without loopholes.
• Remove the bar association conflict of interest for judges.
• Citizenry should know about a judge or not vote, if a quorum of informed voters relative to total voters can not be obtained, declare the election null.
• When only one political party is represented, delay the election to the general election so that all voters can decide, rather than letting the party bosses decide. This is a problem that goes beyond the judiciary in this era of two mediocre unresponsive political parties.
• Give the lawyers a taste of their own medicine. When they milk a case, come unprepared, or what ever else, sanction them, then jail them, it won't take long to make major improvements.
• Subject lawyers to consumer protection laws rather than the incestuous union (bar association) they belong to.
  
• Rather than triple billing for errors, require a triple rebate as some consumer laws now dictate by law.
  

Oh but the lawyers won't like this. Too fuckin bad, its for the good of the people, the family structure, the economy, and the innocent child victims. This country was founded by "We the people", not "We the privileged class".

"The judges are like pit bosses in Vegas casinos. Their job is to make sure everybody stays at the table and keeps gambling."

A very interesting analogy, showing the corruption of judges, who aren't interested in solving problems, just keeping lawyers fat and happy so their own bar ratings stay good.

"We all take chances when we get married."

And with this corrupt system where the outcome can ruin your life, one wonders where the future of the institution of marriage that has severed our children well for thousands of years, is headed.

"When I'm with her, I'm happy", said Alec referring to his daughter.

Why is the court so blind to this. A loving parent is happy to be with their child and the child is happy to be with the parent. We were guaranteed the "right to pursue happiness" and the court is constantly interfering. As adults we are more able to cope with this unhappiness, although as an adult we also know that this is inescapable injustice and as such it leads to severe depression. But the innocent child being deprived of access to a loving parent is a serious crime.

And as I advise people, speak up. I did, I let the judge and all the divorce industry representatives present in his chambers, know that the opposition's interference in my custody was child abuse. At that point I was ejected and made to sit in the hall for 10 minutes like a school child caught passing notes. I was called back in where the judge announced that all the guilty parties agreed "No error at law was made". Well la de dah, skip the CYA and call it as it is.

Baldwin Describes 'Parental Alienation Syndrome'

There are groups like NOW that fight fiercely against this in order to maintain the status quo to maintain the upper hand for their members. Interesting that the radical feminist cause trumps the interest of innocent children, even daughters who will grow up to be wounded women by the absence of their Father.

We can only hope Alec makes use of his tremendous wealth to battle the radical and entrenched that are destroying families. This isn't a Father's only issue so it should be resolved for estranged mothers as well.

Corrupt

Today's judiciary is corrupt by design. One of the biggest flaws is management and labor are in the same labor union - the bar association. It is the job of the judge to MANAGE the case, the lawyers and the parties. In a perfect world, a "professional" lawyer would aspire to a set of ethics and conduct and self management. But divorce court will never be confused with "perfect", unless you follow it by "fuckup". When a lawyer is unprepared, opposition counsel can motion for sanctions, they never do. The judge with his almighty god-like power could simply instruct the lawyers or even hold an unprepared lawyer in contempt. That will rarely happen. The judge needs the votes of the bar, the labor union that he is to manage, in order to keep being a judge. Conflict of interest by design.

My judge was well liked by the lawyers. He worked 3 hours per day, and let the lawyers do what ever they wanted, he let them milk the case for all they could get. And when he finally got close to getting in trouble for not managing his case load, he threatened me. How can he threaten me, I vote him in after he gets the bar association backing. But I don't count, because I'm in the minority, he will get re-elected without my vote. Half the people are not there long enough or are not observant enough to catch up to his games. Eighty percent of the voters don't even know who he is and they'll re-elect him because he belongs to an exclusive club, he has brand/name recognition, he belongs to our local political dynasty, guaranteed employment for life unless he really screws up badly.

Inefficient

The divorce court is the most inefficient way of dealing with a troubled marriage. The word doesn't even begin to describe it. Inefficiency is encouraged in the divorce system and goes well with laziness. The use of computers and the method of handling financial issues shows this clearly.

As a computer professional I am truly appalled at their lack of skill. I mention this in a recent post on my Popular Technology Blog. The computer masks their inefficiency with neat laser crisp output, but behind the scenes you see them using yellow pads and long hand math, just as they did in the movie Apollo 13 in 1969, nearly half a century ago. They say the wheels of justice move slow, sometimes I wonder if you can call that moving at all.

If you are lucky they may outsource financial issues, but more likely that will occur only for pension issues that have particular legal issues. Actually you should demand they be separated and sent to a CDFP, a CPA specializing in divorce financial issues. Why? First even this level of CPA is cheaper than any lawyer, second, he knows what he's doing, and third he's not a math moron who could care less like your lawyer is. Oh your finances are simple, lets take this simple problem, 5 components of a house valuation need to add up to the total value of the house. Sound simple for a college graduate? Should be, my 9 year old son can do it. Well that's a sucker bet becuase we're talking about shyster lawyers who don't care. Yes, my lawyer made multiple mistakes of over $10,000 because he left his laptop on his spotless desk with his wonderfully distracting penthouse view. Some scribbling on a yellow pad didn't get transferred to Excel and wha lah, crisp clean computer output with errors.

Another favorite financial tactic favored by math moron lawyers is commingling of disparate funds. This would no doubt make any auditor, CPA, or financially trained person loose their lunch. There is a reason that you can't commingle the values of a house (illiquid), savings (liquid), investments (commissions), pensions (should be, but are not protected, tax consequences). If you want to take your chances that they will err in your favor, consider Vegas, your odds are better, otherwise consider a CDFP.

But that's OK, because my lawyer billed for screwing up, billed for the argument that it took for me to convince him that he really couldn't add 5 numbers and that he and not Excel made the error, and then I had to pay for him to correct it. Where else can you triple your income by being a fuckup? (jqism) Powerful incentive to be inefficient and lazy. Dumb? No I don't think so.

Lazy

There are huge incentives to be lazy. If a judge were to actually manage his cases and the lawyers, they would become bothered and withdraw their valuable bar rating causing him to loose his job. So for the judge to be popular, he lets the lawyers run wild, its easy. The lawyer's don't care about the specifics of your case, they have a worn out cookie cutter they will use, its easy and they still get paid. And sometimes even the divorcing parties are lazy, failing to manage these lawyer consultants on their payroll. Lawyer's make that difficult.

Stupid

Now I have a disagreement here. I'll admit that they act stupid, but I don't believe they are truly stupid. They're stupid like a fox. They pretend to be stupid when it suits their purpose. They appear stupid because they don't give a shit. They get paid no matter what, so they don't care to do things right. A contingency lawyer or corporate lawyer get paid for results, divorce lawyers get paid no matter what.

Don't give a shit

Back in the 60s it was the summer of peace and love, now in the 21st century we live in a time where no one gives a shit about anything. My judge has a cushy job for life, only works 3 hours a day and gets paid over $100,000 a year. He gets paid whether or not he's working, no matter how many lives he ruins by his inattention. He even steals money from kids to pay lawyers. And still he gets paid, after all he is the closet to having God like power on Earth. Why? Because many uninformed voters who could give a shit about who the judges are, vote for the local brand name, members of several political dynasty families. We left the land of royalty two centuries ago because we believed that the people not blood lines should rule. How ironic that we forgot why the hell we came here and are voting for blood lines. God save the queen, why don't we bring her over here to rule, then we wouldn't have to be bothered voting.

Suicide

Alec Baldwin said he prayed his life would end. He seriously contemplated suicide and the only thing that stopped him is his concern for his daughter loosing her father. What anguish. Those of us in it know the feeling. We wrestle with it. We wonder how much more we can take before we explode, before we run to escape the heavy hand of the judiciary gone wild. NCP Father's have one of the highest suicide rates around. I understand it well, and this blog is like the tip of the iceberg, you are seeing maybe 10% of the anguish I have experienced. At over 300 posts, I easily have 3000 more I could write. And even then, these are just words, their is no way to fully describe the terrible feelings that you experience.

It's all about money

No surprise here, the root of the evil in the divorce system is money. Ultimately they are stealing from the children which is truly evil. Even the guardian's who are paid to protect the children's interest are not immune from the greedy feeding frenzy. The system is designed to suck you clean of all your money. And by that I mean all of it. What you have, what you saved, your pension, social security, retirement accounts, even the home you live in.

There is a whole industry of lawyers, social workers, psychological testing, custody evaluators, parenting monitor and classes, every one with their greedy little hands scooping money out of your child's piggy bank like a starving glutton.

If you want a nice visual on this, watch Intolerable Cruelty where George Clooney has nightmares about becoming his boss, a man barely alive but still obsessed with billable hours. I have to warn you, it will either make you laugh or cry, there isn't much in between. If it makes you laugh its because it hits the mark. If it makes you cry its because your judiciary inflicted wounds are still to fresh.

If you have no children, well they're still stealing. If you have no money, they'll find some you didn't know you had. If you are living in a box under a bridge, then they just won't take your case.

Change is avoided

In today's brave new world order of globalization and short term profit motives, we as people are expected to be infitately flexible, innovative, and adaptable, as if we were made of liquid rather than thin flesh and brittle bone. But the justice system is immune to the world around it, creeping at its petty pace, loosing races with snails as it steadfastly avoids change in every aspect of the justice system.

Many people are college educated, nearly everyone is literate. Why does the court require we pay our entire life saving to someone who used to represent the uneducated and illiterate? And they do this despite evidence that shows that a party is in fact representing themselves better than a lawyer. What? Do I blaspheme? Am I arrogant? Nope, I give a shit about the outcome and the lawyers don't. For me this is about my life savings and my own flesh and blood, for them I am just a billing code that is another step toward full partner. That my friends is an advantage that can not be underestimated.

If you want anything done better than half ass, you've got to give a shit. Pun Intended. (jqism)

Here's the routine, your lawyer goes behind closed doors and bullshits with various court employees, flirting with cute ones, socializing, on your dime, while you are expected to sit in the hall like an statue or an asshole quietly staring ahead at the wall symbolizing your respect for the "honorable" court. Day after day, losing work and pay. Forty five days for me. All in the off chance that someone may need you to answer a question, which they rarely do, especially with lax case management. If you protest this old bad habit, you are threatened with contempt and a bench warrant for your arrest, at your work place which will earn you some points with your employer. In this day and age of cell phones etc, is there a reason for this other than "tradition".

Economic Devastation

The economic devastation done to both parents, the children, and the wide ripple effect hitting their creditors as they can't meet their bills, while parasite lawyers feed on their misery is nothing short of legalized thievery.

Family Devastation

An unrepairable marriage is a shame. But the court system takes repairable marriages, ups the antagonism, plays on emotions, lies to obtain cooperation of their clients into this financial and family structure suicide.

Conclusion

So I'm glad ABC News decided to run a story on this underbelly of our government. But will anything move forward? Or will people just shake their heads and be happy that it didn't happen to them, happy not giving a shit?

For all of you in that category, consider this, there for the grace of God go you... You've been lucky, I was too, for quite some time, but when you're luck runs out and you are dragged into court, get ready for the most stomach churning ride of your life. You will be lucky to get out alive, but you won't think so, you won't have a shred of dignity, money, or hope, that will be squeezed out of you like blood from a rock.

And worst of all you will be demoted from Father to NCP. As a Father you take so much for granted, as an NCP, you will need to fight for every inch on the miles of rights you used to have.

BTW, I have "shared" custody in name only. But when I read the 91 pages of divorce decree I had all the restrictions of an NCP and then some. When I noticed this they said well that's so you have a "path to normalcy". So they can milk me for each attempt to remove an NCP limitation for the next decade. A piece of shit by any other name is still a piece of shit, cover it in sugar and you won't be fooled. This call it one thing to make it more palatable is frequently used, just as passing out final decrees that are far from over.


Status: Final Draft - Last Updated 09/22/08 5:50 PM
Post has been split, this post only deals with the Interview Press Release
The next one will deal with the Book Excerpt
And the third will deal with the reaction, as reported by others.

Deadbeat Propaganda

While reading another blogger's post about the "Deadbeat Witchhunt", it got me thinking of what a paradox that is. What makes it a paradox is how inconsistent it is. There are times when the enforcement agency takes action in a month, and there are times when they refuse to take action in a decade. WTF! How could that be?

Well there are two reasons I can think of, one I think is an absolute and one is controversial.

The absolute reason is caring, plain old giving a shit. You see, when they, or you, don't give a shit, I mean really enough to get up, stand up, speak up, or do something about something, well that makes all the difference. This whole deadbeat thing is all about the government AND the people, not giving a shit. And that's the important thing, both don't give a shit. If people gave a shit, they could force the government to act appropriately. But they don't give a shit, not yet, not until it affects them personally, but then it will be too late.

Ask yourself, do you care? If someone uses the word "deadbeat", do you correct them, do you even know how the word is misused? If, not, try clicking here. What will it take to make you care? Maybe a personal experience, with a close friend, or even a new spouse? So lets say it gets personal, you know someone who is labeled a deadbeat. What will happen?

• They get assets seized
• They loose any claim to government money, tax refunds etc.
• They loose their passport and travel privileges. When they travel they will be treated like an 9/11 terrorist. Crack mules have more rights.
  
• They loose their driver's and professional licenses -
  
• Which leads to them loosing their job
• Making it impossible to pay, because loosing your job doesn't affect you still owing support
• Then they will be arrested and thrown in jail
• Where their debt will continue to grow
  

And all this to pay for the mistake of getting married in the first place to a cold hearted bitch who takes advantage of the system. Will all this take years? No, more like months. Will there be due process. HELL NO! You will see our judiciary at its worst.

And you will only have your own apathy and inaction to blame. I'm sure you have your own problems and issues. I'm sure you have plenty of excuses. But when it gets personal and close to you, will any of that matter? No, you will wake up and scream about the injustices to you, but who will listen?

With all the injustice in the world, what can you do? First, don't remain silent. When you hear ignorant people or media say something stupid, correct them. That's not hard at all, if you give a shit. Next, be informed, participate in government. But where will you find time to give a shit, to stay informed? Spend a little less time with reality TV and a little more time with the reality of our government going awry due to the neglect of its citizenry.

Freedom isn't free, it requires the active participation of the citizenry in the operation of the government. (jqism)

The government is apathetic too. The enforcement agency's lay blame on each other through their hierarchy - federal, state, and county. The divorce lawyers actually agree that the enforcement agencies are incompetent and when they complain to the judge, he agrees too. But do any of these government entities do anything about it? Do they have the courage to stand up and do something about it as they are obligated to do by their public salary? Hell NO!!!

And the government's apathy, what of it? Is it just apathy or is it more sinister? The divorce industry and its governmental support has an improper compensation model. Their incompetence is rewarded, they have a negative incentive to do the right thing. Rather than get paid for positive results, they are paid regardless of results, so they take the easy way out because they are not held accountable. Its actually even worse, in many cases they are rewarded for incompetence. We all know lawyers are paid more when they screw up then when they do things correctly, efficiently, and quickly. They are paid for their errors too.

When someone is labeled a deadbeat, federal funding to the support agency is increased, regardless of whether it is true or not. So when you try to defend yourself, you are literally taking money out of their budget, maybe even their own pocket. That's a powerful negative incentive to not correct injustice, federally funded to boot.

But why does this agency not pursue the terrible deadbeat cases we've all heard of. Wouldn't pursuing everyone make them even more money? Well the money supply isn't endless. If they got a real live decade deadbeat to pay up, or even start paying for the second decade what would happen? Well these ignored decade deadbeats serve an important propaganda purpose. They serve to inflate passion, among the legislature, budget decisions, and the general public. By pointing to these worst cases, they can keep the deadbeat lie alive. Just like the lawyers, the enforcement agencies are rewarded for their mistakes.

The agencies would rather hound an honest dad and label him a deadbeat than go after someone who is resistant and dishonest. Why? Its easier! And no one is questioning them, no one is holding them accountable. We live in the computer age, and the enforcement agency has hooks into everything, new employment, tax payments, nearly all government information. But they still don't enforce child support. In fact a mother can even give them all the info they need, address, phone number, job, and they still don't follow up. They just don't want to, and they don't have to either. There is no penalty for letting a decade deadbeat go, there is only the PR reward. The government doesn't have enough money to compensate them for the decade deadbeat and the enforcement agency can get the same money going after an honest dad if he's one day late or if their own records are wrong.

The problem is so bad that real deadbeat victims have given up hope. There was the commenter I responded to recently, and I know two people personally who haven't seen any support money. And they all seem to have this, "well that's the way it is" feeling. Why? It isn't that way for everyone, why for you? Speak up or shut up!

So is my blogger friend correct, will we have "Deadbeat Witchhunt" ?

Its all up to you, will you speak up, will you encourage proper compensation models? Don't look at me; our county commissioners, state and county agency directors, and courts have all seen their fill of me. Show them I'm not some crackpot activist. Prove them wrong, that people do care, and that their jobs depends on them doing the right thing. Don't just register to vote, be informed, and make your voice heard. Take back the government that has always been rightly ours in the first place.

The dynasty took a hit

Somewhere I mentioned that my judge was part of a local political dynasty with a well recognized name. There are over a dozen political officeholders in this county with that famous last name. In fact one woman who had gone by her maiden name professionally actually changed her name to her married name while in the process of divorcing her famously named husband just in time to launch an election. How screwed up is that?

Never underestimate the power of name and brand recognition in this age of sound bytes, when no one has time to hear any more than the 5 seconds the media has decided to push at us repeatedly in surround sound. (jqism)

After our local media exposed the corruption in our Divorce Court, they moved on to other county agencies and guess what, they found more corruption. So media exposure has the State Supreme Court investigating the county Divorce Court, while the FBI and IRS led surprise dawn raids on county officials without involving local law enforcement (they're next, word is the county prosecutor is on borrowed time).

And what else did the media notice... LMAO... Well two of the worst offenders had the same last name, they're brothers, one was my judge.

Well did the public read the paper that day? Did they figure that out for themselves? Has the brand been damaged? One can only hope that the good name is tarnished, that the dynasty crumbles and that people properly associate the word "CORRUPTION" to that name. We will have to wait until November to see.

In the mean time how have these people under investigation reacted to being caught and under the bright light of the media headline story? Have they done the honorable thing and resigned in disgrace, as President Nixon did? Hell no, those morals are of a bygone era. Not only do they remain in office, but they are resisting calls from the local party bosses and even the State Governor calling for their resignation.

And my judge in particular, slippery devil that he is, he ran against a relative unknown in the primary for a different branch of the judiciary and beat them before his name could be fully tarnished. Did the media hold off on their expose? Well in this county our judges are heavily Democratic and no Republican opponents. The Republican party bosses were caught napping, they didn't have a candidate ready to challenge him, so he will run unopposed in November and get his promotion to another branch of the judiciary where he can continue to work his 3 hour days for over $120,000 per year.

Where in the Constitution do we abdicate our control over government to party bosses? What is their purpose? Where does their power originate from?

In the end how big a hit will the dynasty name and brand take? Are we just so tired of hearing about corruption that we've all stuck our heads up our asses and so we don't have to hear it anymore?

I for one, will not conform, I don't care what the polls say, or how big a majority of the public prefers to wear their ass hats, I will call them as I see them, with clear vision, unimpeded by the ass hat style.

Ruining Reputations

A parental rights blog I read regularly mentioned that their namesake was going to be confused with them and their "outspoken" reputation.

As if being "outspoken" is a federal offense. Oh I probably shouldn't say that, maybe it will become one.

There are a lot of people, even in my town, that share my name, only one is related, my father.

I hadn't given it much thought but I've impugned them too, since around the court house I'm known as being a "poor litigant with a poor a attitude relating to the court".

Pointing out that I was there to prove I was a good father not a good "litigant" garnered no understanding. I even stated that I had no desire to be a litigant and did not understand how playing the "litigant" games related to my parenting skills. Unfortunately they assumed my literal question was simply rhetorical.

How arrogant of the court to think that I should treat them as well as I treat my own son who I love. What has the court done to earn my love? NOTHING! In fact, their corruption and ineptitude have earned my contempt.

Some "fun" with the ex...

Two months ago my ex was talking to me about the issues of of some fall out litigation a year after our final decree, how can this be??? She has an interesting personality, she can compartmentalize like Clinton, be in a state of denial, and seem to be in her own virtual world. I was rather agitated by this case and she wanted to cut the conversation short because it only affected me, never mind that her divorce and hired bitch lawyer caused this shit for me. I mentioned the interference of the divorce court and she blurted out that was over a year ago, that's over, well that really pissed me off.

I spent most of my career as a member of the Public Employee Retirement System (PERS) instead of Social Security (SS), but it works the same way. The divorce settlement says she gets a portion of my PERS retirement income starting when I retire until the day I die.

Isn't that wonderful, its proof that Marriage is only Temporary, Only Divorce is until Death Do You Part (jqism). Fucked up isn't it! But true.

I suppose I am a nonconformist, I see things differently, I think for myself and don't need or want media propaganda to tell me what I should think or accept as "normal". The difference between the nonconformists and the general population is we see the truth that others miss (jqism).

Well just two days earlier, over one year after the final decree, she brought over the PERS DOPO (Division of Property Order) for me to sign.

So I said, really, REALLY !! Well then I have a pile of unneeded asswipe on my desk that I no longer need. Since this DOPO contains confidential information I will have to shred it. I walked over to my desk picked up some blank paper and put it in my shredder. She must have been silent for a full minute.

LMAO at the BITCH !!!!

You have to find humor in this tragedy or it will drive you crazy. (jqism)

Never Ending Litigation

Last May 2007, I spent one month full time to finally bring my divorce case to a close in its 3rd year. I did this for several reasons...

• Pressure was on the judge because the case had gone on too long, and that pressure was passed on to me the presumptive loser. No such pressure was put on my ex.
• The judge demanded only my appearance on multiple days to increase the pressure on me.
  
• The judge was clear that he would increase pressure on me, in fact he intimidated, threatened, and extorted me in chambers. More on this in another post.
• This was not lost on opposing counsel who took advantage of the judge's bias to add more last minute demands (to items already heard) in the settlement while not responding to issues that I raised that were not heard.
  
• Much was left undone, to my determent, in fact there is still much undone 15 months later.
• Seeing the judge's bias, I had limited time while he was out of town to have the case heard by his magistrate.
  

But its still not over !! How can that be, I have a final decree? When I'm talking to women I need to explain this carefully so they don't think I'm some married playa creep. LOL...

The answer is simple, the judges lie for their own benefit. Our county divorce judges fall under the control of our State Supreme Court that has guidelines on how a judge should manage his caseload. If cases aren't "disposed of" within these guidelines (one year no children, two years with children) the judge comes under their scrutiny and no one wants to be under someone else's scrutiny. So I have a final decree that says I could legally get married (oh yeah, sign me up for doing that again...). But careful inspection of court documents will show some are missing, and some issues were completely ignored causing other litigation to be filed.

A divorce consists of a group of court orders...

Final decree
Parenting Plan
Division of Property
Pension Issues QDRO and DOPO
Seizure of Assets (for legal fees)
Cancellation of Temporary Orders (contingent upon seizures)
Future Actions to be taken

Depending on local court rules these may be merged or separate orders.

xxx

Status: Rough Draft - Last Updated 09/12/08 5 am

Some Updates

Updates to this blog were a bit infrequent lately as I battled some busybodies who thought it was a good idea to attempt to interfere in my case and release my IRL identity along with those of parties to the case. While this was occurring I was preoccupied with removing that information which violates my privacy, my copyright, and my terms of use as is clearly spelled out in my legal notice.

Now that I have prevailed in that disagreement, I can get back to regular updates of this blog as well as my other blogs. You will notice I added a humor blog which is drawn on from my spamming relative (we all have one), I simply repost the best of what his emails minus chain letters or really lame jokes. Its important to maintain some sense of humor, this crap can drive you nuts if you don't (and I am serious about that).

I am adding more posts to my popular technology blog, lately I have been talking about photo hosting and I will be adding some blogger tips too. My most recent topic is how people really haven't embraced PC technology 25 years after its introduction. This became painfully obvious in seeing just how poorly my own lawyer used a computer.

If I really get ambitious, I will start posting to my Mainframe Adventures Blog. It will be aimed at describing how the top end technology works for the general public. I have at least one fellow mainframer as a regular reader and this won't be written for mainframers, it will be to introduce the fascinating capabilities of this technology to the public.

I have added some new blogger features to the sidebars of my personal blog, JQsLife, and to the humor blog. I will probably post about these features in my Popular Technology Blog.

As a reminder, I use the HTML title feature to give you a hint when you hover over terms that might not be common knowledge. In this post you will see IRL, BIC, and NCP underlined and in a special color, when you click nothing happens, but if you hover over it you will see an explanation. I will write a post in my popular technology blog explaining this technique. You can also click here to see a glossary of terms that are used on this blog.

I don't post a large list of divorce resources, I pick just a few that I find extremely compressive. Today, thanks to one of the blogs I follow I am adding Fathers Rights And Men Ending Discrimination (F.R.A.M.E.D.) to the list of extremely useful sites that I personally read. Each of the sites in my list have their own extensive list and you can no doubt pick your own favorites from their lists.

And just so everyone understands, let me qoute the author:

" FRAMED is not just about Father's, it's also about Children, Mothers, and Families. Right now the majority of Father's are at a disadvantage compared to mothers when it comes to parental rights.......these parental rights need to be equal between both fit Mother's and Father's! For the sake of our Children! "

In the name of BIC the courts decide who the winning parent is, which guarantee's a loss for the child. The court is ass backwards, to meet the best interest of the child, start with the child's interest. The child needs emotional parental support every bit as much as monetary child support. But there is no money for the family destruction (divorce) industry for a simple solution, the simple solution is the child should have equal access to the parents, unhindered by the divorce industry.

Rather than waste time, money, and resources picking a winner (residential) and loser (NCP) parent, the court should simply admonish the parents to cooperate to meet the child's needs and sentence the uncooperative alienating parent to mandatory psychiatric counseling until they comply. (jqism)