Alec
They started the chit chat complimenting him on his Emmy. Then they talked about the nasty voicemail that Alec left in frustration for his daughter when he couldn't reach her.
So the meat of the interview started at 35 minute mark.
Alec started talking about PAS. He was careful to not disparage Kim.
He mentioned that he was held to the myth of perfect parenting, situations that wouldn't be of any concern in a normal marriage were exploited as "abuse". He said that PAS makes normal parenting "abusive". If you try to discipline your child by saying "Stop misbehaving or I'll take away video, TV, and cell phone", in a normal marriage, your wife would say "listen to your father", with PAS, its off to court you go as an "abusive" parent.
In the last generation, father's worked and were uninvolved, and mother's parented full time. That's the way they did things. In this generation, especially after a divorce, a father may want to take a more active role in parenting. Alec didn't mention it, but I'd say that as more women entered the workforce, traditional father breadwinner, mother housewife roles changed. Now father's are more active because the mother is no longer a stay at home mom, even while married. Another trend I believe is important, is that the higher divorce rate also contributes to higher father involvement. In the older generation, divorces had a reason, a grounds, so the separation seemed more rigid. Today's "no-fault" divorces seem to make a lot of "involuntarily divorced father's" who really didn't want to leave their children in my opinion and they feel a sense of profound loss in that these outsiders have wrestled the ones they love from them.
Alec advocates for an immediate default of 50/50 parenting unless the Father really doesn't want it. Many court systems give lip service to this, but most still follow the old standard, every other weekend visitation for the newly demoted NCP, former Father, and nearly sole (residential) custody to the mother. If the mother wants to make accusations, then the father's visitation (as mine is) can be limited even further or eliminated all together.
Courts have given lip service to abandoning the "tender years doctrine" which says that only mothers can take care of infants. Aside from breast feeding there wasn't any care my wife gave our son that I didn't, even after working a 14 hour third shift with my 100 mile commute because she was "tired". This was even when my son was sleeping through the nights, so I don't know why my wife was so damn tired, but I'd come home to see her sleeping while my young son was up and wandering the house. Interestingly, Alec took the position that the "tender years doctrine" should be respected because no Father would wrestle away a toddler from his needed maternal connection 50% of the time. Hmmm... Lucky I was around to pick up the slack for my son's tender years. Well my son just turned 9 so that issue has changed. Now, as far as I know, when he wakes up before her, he wanders unsupervised. At least that was the explanation when his reading log showed 45 minutes of morning reading and tardy arrival at school. Yeah that single parenting thing works real good (sarcasm).
Alec stated that there should be an immediate order for co-parenting at the time of filing for divorce. Alec also stated that when PAS arises, then "bang" order therapy to prevent it.
Barbara mentioned that Alec was so distraught by this process that he contemplated suicide and that his book even mentions the ways that he had thought to commit suicide. This agonizing time occurred when the voicemail to his daughter was released. Alec explained that orders were in place, not just a verbal agreement, but orders as a result of a full trial. Alec said at that time Kim violated orders frequently. But enforcement of these orders is "Ala Cart", the victim must pay a lawyer and sue the victimizer to enforce the orders. Alec said the court orders are "not worth the paper they are printed on". I refer to court orders as ass wipe, that's the only useful purpose they could possibly serve.
Alec could have sued Kim over her court order violations, but he didn't. And for his generosity, he was rewarded with the voicemail tape being released to the media. It was then that he realized that this was all about how to abuse him and that he couldn't do anything to reduce the hostility.
Alec didn't blame it all on Kim, "she was in the hands of lawyers" who were hell bent antagonism. Alec said that "Millions were wasted that could have gone to his daughter".
PAS
Its very interesting that the radical feminists oppose PAS because they say it is only to allow abusers to get off. Alec mentions, Father's rights advocates don't want abusers to endanger children, they just don't want women to get away with lying that responsible fathers are abusers when they are not. This is a broad and complex topic I will take up in another post.
Two more Guests
Two more guests joined came out at the 52 minute mark, one was a mother estranged from her child due to PAS, and xx American Coalition of Fathers & Children
xx
The estranged mother mentioned that her children were turned against her and claimed to be "fearful" of her. Alec echoed that this is the frequent method used, a supposed "fear" of the alienated parent is claimed.
Alec said -- Judges afraid of lawyers, they let them do it. Judges pick a side, can't undo it
xx
Barbara Walter's asked, "What has this done the children?", and as Alec was going to answer, she promptly told him they were out of time. Too bad, because this is the biggest problem of all, the damage to the children, our next generation. For what? Lazy judges and greedy lawyers?
Status: First Draft - Last Updated 09/29/08 4 am
I will review this program in detail and update this post.
No comments:
Post a Comment