An unsent email

I had an interesting day today. I was about to send this email to my pussy lawyer. And I hesitated to think about it. Why the hell should I give him an advance warning, time to prepare, to cover his ass? I never got that courtesy. Fuck him! He can get called by the Enforcement Agency and the DOJ and we'll see how well he can improvise. I hope he isn't in, cause I gotta feeling the office staff won't put that in voicemail.

This is to inform you that despite the court orders that should have been issued, I have received notification from [Enforcement Agency] that I am subject to enforcement action. Apparently the court order has not been properly executed. I had anticipated this problem and coincidently was meeting with various officials in [Enforcement Agency] and the Department of Justice.

We discussed opposition counsel's predatory practices, misuse of [Enforcement Agency] to achieve litigation leverage, disparaging remarks made against [Enforcement Agency], lawyer/judicial ignorance of [Enforcement Agency] processes, and the judicial tacit approval of them as well as the judicial threats and intimidation in chambers.

I was asked and provided full case details. I have been assured that a full and thorough investigation will commence no later than this coming Tuesday. It is possible that you may be contacted in this regard. As most of this abuse occurred under prior representation, [2nd lawyer] and [Guardian ad litum] will have to answer most of these charges. The judicial threats and intimidation however were personally witnessed by you and the managing partner and therefore you may be called into account as to how well you protected your client's rights during that highly unusual meeting.

Go ahead and fuck me, but if you think you can get away with it, be ready for a surprise.

Surprise! I told you so! Don't look now, I'm still not done yet!