Yep, sure enough. I am skeptical for a reason. I recheck everything and I’m never disappointed in finding an error. Now we’re all human and that means that we all make mistakes. But there is a difference between human and lazy, sloppy carelessness (I hope?). Especially when you’re being charged top buck for it.
So what happens when I put her preposterous proposal into Excel? The numbers don’t balance. Why? Well see she (one trick pony) didn’t use the spreadsheet to do all the math. She may have used it to total the purported marital property amounts or maybe not. They add up correctly, but that could be an accident. I noticed that she rounded numbers to the nearest hundred dollars (why not thousand?) inconsistently. Next to split property she listed a footnote number, then at the bottom were footnotes with total and separate property amounts in text (not number) format. Apparently she subtracted the numbers outside of Excel, presumably with a calculator, then typed the erroneous number in at the top of the sheet.
In a state that recognizes joint and separate property and an industry that cuts down forests of paper, you’d think she could squeeze in the two columns to show all three figures and let Excel do the math. But Nooooooooo. That would be common sense and there is no room for that in the law.
Sure enough, the spreadsheet was dated on the last trial date, so why was it not handled then? Why did I receive it yesterday, three weeks later? Deliberate delay to cost me more money. Expect to see a complaint on that. Oh you think pussy won’t write it, you’re probably right. But I know how to write it and I know how to force a document onto the record. Why don’t you search for me and see that I went through a whole civil case Pro Se and won against another one trick pony the likes of you. Would you like to see the first draft of the ex parte (other party does not have to be notified) ruling I got signed behind your back? It was on my lawyer’s letter head, but I researched the local rule, I wrote it. I knew what an uncooperative SOB you were even back then, so I told my lawyer to wait, why kiss your ass for an AJE (agreed judgment entry) when we can wait a week and get it signed without a hearing? I’ve been re-reading the local rules lately, and you seem to be a little over the line. Maybe I should pay a few bucks extra and get a sheriff to serve you at your home like you did to me.
Oh and expect a bill from me for the time I spent correcting your Excel handy work. Well actually it will come via the judge since I know how much you like to avoid me.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Another Big Day
At the risk of being redundant, I was thinking of another running log, but I think this post is pretty long already. One week from today is supposed to be the final day in the Phase II Forced Negotiation Shadow Trial Date. Yeah just like last time. My wife claims to think the divorce will be over by then. I don’t think she believes that, not with what her lawyer is claiming.
UnF—king believable. I opened my mail. If it wasn’t serious, I’d be rolling on the floor laughing, but she (hired bitch lawyer) is going to strut her matronly old ass into court and declare with confidence that her claim is valid. And everyone will listen. How do I know? It’s happened before, I saw it personally.
It went on, stalemated for six months. You know what broke the stalemate, ME! You know why, I don’t kiss ass, I don’t need her as a friend, I don’t lie, I know her weakness (one trick pony), I know math. Of course that was very advanced post-graduate math, these a—holes (all lawyers, child enforcement, my wife) can’t add or subtract. Give my son a calculator and he could beat them.
Come on, lawyer’s know this stuff, they can do better than you. No, they have a big flaw, they have to be friends with their adversaries, they can’t push them too far, they won't call it what it really is – bulls—t. The court is too refined for that kind of language, even though the room is drowning in the stinky stuff. See they’re in the club, they play by their rules, I’m not, I don’t. That makes us very different and has it’s pros and cons.
I will admit, if we were talking about the finer points of law, I’d be a pompous ass to think I could beat a lawyer. But we’re talking about math and bulls—t games played by a one trick pony who does not know how to improvise. Well I’m no thespian, but as a technician I analyze, I solve, I find alternatives, I surround a problem, I draw on 30 years (yeah, I’m an old man, no one guessed I’m 50, hey but I can be a lot of fun, so it’s just a number) of experience in crushing problems. I’ve had tough ones, but perseverance is something I have plenty of, maybe to a fault. So you fix big ass computers these are people, oh, but for half my career I handled acquisition and vendor management, people, big money, contracts. I was a director in a startup, how much does that expose you to?
Could that be why my lawyer is excited to get me “in the box” in a Phase III trial? Because he can have me say what he’s to big a pussy to say? He didn’t want me on the stand for my son, he saw I’m too emotional about that, they’d call me a nut case when I blasted them. Is it nuts to love your son, to want reasonable access to him? Is it nuts to be frustrated and irritated at the people who keep him from you? YES, in the court’s f—ked up view. But see this is all about money now, the parenting plan is signed. I’ll be less emotional, and even if you want to call me a nut (because I don’t play by your rules), you can’t take my money away for that reason. Now it’s making sense.
First rule of problem solving, you gotta understand what’s going on, and the second rule is if it doesn’t make sense, you’re no where near a solution. That is one of the points of this Blog, I want to share my hard earned experience with you. No one should have to go through all this crap to break into this secret society.
So hired bitch, if you’re reading this, you’re going down in flames, you’re a blood sucking gnat on my ass. You don’t know what I’m gonna do, and a pony has no stripes to change. You’re an old dog who hasn’t learned any new tricks in decades, your mind is atrophied from lack of use. You’re a legal dinosaur who just hasn’t died yet. And you’re up against University boy who sucks in knowledge like he sucks in air, it makes me feel alive. It’s an unquenchable thirst.
Ya know lawyer’s don’t like surprises, and I’ve got some duzzies. And I’m not done, I’ll be coming up with them non-stop right up to the Trial Date and during the Trial. I don’t play by your rules, so don’t whine foul, you asked for it, you’re gonna get all barrels. I’d say I’m gonna teach you a new trick, but I won’t, you’ll just go away scratching your head wondering what went wrong.
Hey judge you gonna stress me out by keeping me there till 2am, huh, that’s only a double, I can do that without breaking a sweat. Pussy, make it a triple, I can do those too. Hell go all the way, I can do more than 24 hours. Done it before, hell I’ve been in your court after being up that long. And I work on my case while in the hallway, not sit there like some “respectful” statue. Haven't found an open access point yet so I have State Family Law and County Local Rules offline on my hard drive.
So come on, just be reasonable, just give in and get it over with, you might advise me. Well I sure would be tempted, but it’s beyond ridiculous, it’s f—king impossible. So I have no decision to make. Impossible you might say, come on you are exaggerating, no I’m not with her inability to do simple math she is simply asking for more money than I could ever get a hold of (legally that is).
So how far off are we, way off, so far off, that it would be impossible for me to settle. First she's counting retirement assests as if they were cash, they aren't there are huge tax implications. Second she is couting all assests as marital, including those from 14 years prior to the marraige when I worked multipe jobs and saved a huge amount of my income. And of course she’s asking for legal fees, at least $30,000.
Oh, we’re not done yet, she’s also claiming household furnishings. Well those were agreed to before separation, and formally ordered by the court shortly afterwards, but what the hell she’s famous for reneging on deals. She only took two moving van loads out of the house. And what she didn’t take she bought on a credit card she had issued in my name after the separation. Yep, the card company was stupid enough to send a card to a different address without verifying it with me.
Oh guess what else, college costs. Hmm, I finished college a decade before I met her, no college debt, I worked my ass off. I taught at college part time for extra income. I took post degree college courses at no charge since I was on the full time professional staff. Oh yeah, she took college classes for free as my spouse, since I worked at the University. Is this lady full of s—t? Um, yeah.
Actually she’s throwing anything she can possibly think of at the wall to see what sticks. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous it is if it’s done with confidence. And this lady leaves a slime trail of cockiness like a snail. Better wear your non-slip shoes, you’re gonna get pushed hard.
So six more days, then the big day. Outcome? My bet is a stalemate. With pussy being up against one trick pony, it’ll be a draw. Another expensive day gone bust.
Hey Guardian you're not off the hook, this isn't BIC, so unless you want a close call with violation of fiduciary responsibility, I suggest you weigh in as friend of the court. And pussy (my lawyer), don’t think you’re getting off so easy by having me do your dirty work. Oh it feels like Christmas, I have surprise gifts for everyone, even you judge, oh I feel so generous.
Hey judge, bang your gavel, throw this crap out on the big day or get me on the stand to say what pussy is too scared to say. There’s no more blood to squeeze out of this rock.
Rough Draft – Updated 1/20/07 2:20 am
UnF—king believable. I opened my mail. If it wasn’t serious, I’d be rolling on the floor laughing, but she (hired bitch lawyer) is going to strut her matronly old ass into court and declare with confidence that her claim is valid. And everyone will listen. How do I know? It’s happened before, I saw it personally.
It went on, stalemated for six months. You know what broke the stalemate, ME! You know why, I don’t kiss ass, I don’t need her as a friend, I don’t lie, I know her weakness (one trick pony), I know math. Of course that was very advanced post-graduate math, these a—holes (all lawyers, child enforcement, my wife) can’t add or subtract. Give my son a calculator and he could beat them.
Come on, lawyer’s know this stuff, they can do better than you. No, they have a big flaw, they have to be friends with their adversaries, they can’t push them too far, they won't call it what it really is – bulls—t. The court is too refined for that kind of language, even though the room is drowning in the stinky stuff. See they’re in the club, they play by their rules, I’m not, I don’t. That makes us very different and has it’s pros and cons.
I will admit, if we were talking about the finer points of law, I’d be a pompous ass to think I could beat a lawyer. But we’re talking about math and bulls—t games played by a one trick pony who does not know how to improvise. Well I’m no thespian, but as a technician I analyze, I solve, I find alternatives, I surround a problem, I draw on 30 years (yeah, I’m an old man, no one guessed I’m 50, hey but I can be a lot of fun, so it’s just a number) of experience in crushing problems. I’ve had tough ones, but perseverance is something I have plenty of, maybe to a fault. So you fix big ass computers these are people, oh, but for half my career I handled acquisition and vendor management, people, big money, contracts. I was a director in a startup, how much does that expose you to?
Could that be why my lawyer is excited to get me “in the box” in a Phase III trial? Because he can have me say what he’s to big a pussy to say? He didn’t want me on the stand for my son, he saw I’m too emotional about that, they’d call me a nut case when I blasted them. Is it nuts to love your son, to want reasonable access to him? Is it nuts to be frustrated and irritated at the people who keep him from you? YES, in the court’s f—ked up view. But see this is all about money now, the parenting plan is signed. I’ll be less emotional, and even if you want to call me a nut (because I don’t play by your rules), you can’t take my money away for that reason. Now it’s making sense.
First rule of problem solving, you gotta understand what’s going on, and the second rule is if it doesn’t make sense, you’re no where near a solution. That is one of the points of this Blog, I want to share my hard earned experience with you. No one should have to go through all this crap to break into this secret society.
So hired bitch, if you’re reading this, you’re going down in flames, you’re a blood sucking gnat on my ass. You don’t know what I’m gonna do, and a pony has no stripes to change. You’re an old dog who hasn’t learned any new tricks in decades, your mind is atrophied from lack of use. You’re a legal dinosaur who just hasn’t died yet. And you’re up against University boy who sucks in knowledge like he sucks in air, it makes me feel alive. It’s an unquenchable thirst.
Ya know lawyer’s don’t like surprises, and I’ve got some duzzies. And I’m not done, I’ll be coming up with them non-stop right up to the Trial Date and during the Trial. I don’t play by your rules, so don’t whine foul, you asked for it, you’re gonna get all barrels. I’d say I’m gonna teach you a new trick, but I won’t, you’ll just go away scratching your head wondering what went wrong.
Hey judge you gonna stress me out by keeping me there till 2am, huh, that’s only a double, I can do that without breaking a sweat. Pussy, make it a triple, I can do those too. Hell go all the way, I can do more than 24 hours. Done it before, hell I’ve been in your court after being up that long. And I work on my case while in the hallway, not sit there like some “respectful” statue. Haven't found an open access point yet so I have State Family Law and County Local Rules offline on my hard drive.
So come on, just be reasonable, just give in and get it over with, you might advise me. Well I sure would be tempted, but it’s beyond ridiculous, it’s f—king impossible. So I have no decision to make. Impossible you might say, come on you are exaggerating, no I’m not with her inability to do simple math she is simply asking for more money than I could ever get a hold of (legally that is).
So how far off are we, way off, so far off, that it would be impossible for me to settle. First she's counting retirement assests as if they were cash, they aren't there are huge tax implications. Second she is couting all assests as marital, including those from 14 years prior to the marraige when I worked multipe jobs and saved a huge amount of my income. And of course she’s asking for legal fees, at least $30,000.
Oh, we’re not done yet, she’s also claiming household furnishings. Well those were agreed to before separation, and formally ordered by the court shortly afterwards, but what the hell she’s famous for reneging on deals. She only took two moving van loads out of the house. And what she didn’t take she bought on a credit card she had issued in my name after the separation. Yep, the card company was stupid enough to send a card to a different address without verifying it with me.
Oh guess what else, college costs. Hmm, I finished college a decade before I met her, no college debt, I worked my ass off. I taught at college part time for extra income. I took post degree college courses at no charge since I was on the full time professional staff. Oh yeah, she took college classes for free as my spouse, since I worked at the University. Is this lady full of s—t? Um, yeah.
Actually she’s throwing anything she can possibly think of at the wall to see what sticks. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous it is if it’s done with confidence. And this lady leaves a slime trail of cockiness like a snail. Better wear your non-slip shoes, you’re gonna get pushed hard.
So six more days, then the big day. Outcome? My bet is a stalemate. With pussy being up against one trick pony, it’ll be a draw. Another expensive day gone bust.
Hey Guardian you're not off the hook, this isn't BIC, so unless you want a close call with violation of fiduciary responsibility, I suggest you weigh in as friend of the court. And pussy (my lawyer), don’t think you’re getting off so easy by having me do your dirty work. Oh it feels like Christmas, I have surprise gifts for everyone, even you judge, oh I feel so generous.
Hey judge, bang your gavel, throw this crap out on the big day or get me on the stand to say what pussy is too scared to say. There’s no more blood to squeeze out of this rock.
Rough Draft – Updated 1/20/07 2:20 am
Dad got hosed
Hey, have you seen the new Verizon TV ad?
This guy is telling his two teenagers, you got this cell phone and you both got the network.
He asks - What did Dad get?
His daughter replies - Aftershave.
He retorts - No, Dad got hosed!
Oh, pop culture does reflect life. Ya gotta see the ad though, the way he says it, makes ya laugh.
So true !
This guy is telling his two teenagers, you got this cell phone and you both got the network.
He asks - What did Dad get?
His daughter replies - Aftershave.
He retorts - No, Dad got hosed!
Oh, pop culture does reflect life. Ya gotta see the ad though, the way he says it, makes ya laugh.
So true !
Yeah, I’m a bad Dad
I know homework is important, but I only get him after school, no weekends, no overnights.
So today we finally had some snowfall that stayed. I met him at the bus stop next door. We played around in the snow, he wanted to use my ice scraper on my car windows.
Next we worked on his locker project. A wood kit that looks like a small school locker. On previous days he painted it and we put it together. He wanted a lock on it, so I bought a hasp, he told me where the lock should go, I drilled the pilot holes, and we screwed it on and he put the lock on it.
He didn’t get enough nailing on the locker project so I said let’s nail the back on your bookshelf. I showed him how to do this over a year ago on his craft cart. So after I laid the shelf on the floor, lined up the back, he nailed away. He got them in straight and evenly spaced along the six foot height. He did it quickly but didn’t hit his finger. One or two were going in crooked, he pulled them out and put them in straight. He put in the shelf supports in just the right spot and put the shelves in.
I’m bad. Oh he could hurt himself. I have instructed him on this before, he has seen me do it, I was supervising it, and he was using a 7 oz finishing hammer. He was very proud of his work, and so was I.
My switch broke on my whirlpool tub a while ago. I removed the cable from switch and connected it to a breakout box, and showed my son how to test each of the possible combinations to see which pair would turn on the tub. While the side was open my son used my Halogen light to look around on how it goes together, the plumbing, the concrete base, the re-enforcing joist plates, the water jets, the air intake, the pump. My son watched while I soldered some leads onto a momentary switch (using a cold/heat gun), then we screwed the switch leads into the breakout box and he did the honors, 1-2-3 press the button, jets on full, jets on half, jets off. OK it works. I also explained about the low volt/amp switch that made it safer to work on, the dedicated high amp circuit that is more dangerous, but protected by a GFI.
I’m bad. Electricity, wires, oh my. She should thank me, he’ll be able to fix stuff for her, just like I did when I was a kid. But she’ll probably complain about how dangerous it was.
Well we have the lights, we’re upstairs, so he wanted to go up into the attic and look for “aliens”. While we were up there he wanted to cover the attic opening with something. He pulled some wood and drywall across the opening. He wondered how strong the drywall was and how it worked. I warned him that it couldn’t hold weight. I showed him how easy it was to score and break it to the size he wanted to cover the last section. Then he took some tools and said they were alien weapons we needed to put in our belts as we went from top to bottom of the house making sure there were none.
I’m bad. Ladders, attic, dark.
Next we figured out where to put his wall maps and cork board. I moved it up & down until it was at the right height, he marked the wall. He showed me, mommy’s poor rushed spackling job on the wall, she didn’t even scrape the excess off, it’s lumpy. He was laughing at it, I told him that one of the tools he found before was what you used to smooth it out.
He wanted to play with the motion detector webcam software, but I had my laptop connected to my home office hub doing some things and couldn’t move it around. Besides it was time to eat. Get him dinner. He ate a lot.
I’m bad. We should have done his nightly reading (as homework) earlier. Well I got him reading. Opps, I interrupted his reading with a question and that got him curious, he went to my room. He found some neon paint I had bought for him. He got excited, he told me he got a blacklight for his birthday (I knew that) and that Mommy had it & wouldn’t let him use it because it could break. Well I guess it could, but it wouldn’t be too hard to use it in a safe way.
I’m bad. I shouldn’t have interrupted his reading, he was about 5 minutes short of his nightly reading assignment. And here she was at my door at the new court ordered time, 30 minutes earlier than my previous time. “What !” she says indignantly, “You couldn’t finish his reading in four hours !”
So, whatdaya think. Am I bad? Hang me at dawn? Lotta poor judgment here according to my wife and the court.
Ya know what, who are these a—holes who would judge me?
I’m not bad, she’s nuts !
Photos added 01/30/07
So today we finally had some snowfall that stayed. I met him at the bus stop next door. We played around in the snow, he wanted to use my ice scraper on my car windows.
Next we worked on his locker project. A wood kit that looks like a small school locker. On previous days he painted it and we put it together. He wanted a lock on it, so I bought a hasp, he told me where the lock should go, I drilled the pilot holes, and we screwed it on and he put the lock on it.
He didn’t get enough nailing on the locker project so I said let’s nail the back on your bookshelf. I showed him how to do this over a year ago on his craft cart. So after I laid the shelf on the floor, lined up the back, he nailed away. He got them in straight and evenly spaced along the six foot height. He did it quickly but didn’t hit his finger. One or two were going in crooked, he pulled them out and put them in straight. He put in the shelf supports in just the right spot and put the shelves in.I’m bad. Oh he could hurt himself. I have instructed him on this before, he has seen me do it, I was supervising it, and he was using a 7 oz finishing hammer. He was very proud of his work, and so was I.
My switch broke on my whirlpool tub a while ago. I removed the cable from switch and connected it to a breakout box, and showed my son how to test each of the possible combinations to see which pair would turn on the tub. While the side was open my son used my Halogen light to look around on how it goes together, the plumbing, the concrete base, the re-enforcing joist plates, the water jets, the air intake, the pump. My son watched while I soldered some leads onto a momentary switch (using a cold/heat gun), then we screwed the switch leads into the breakout box and he did the honors, 1-2-3 press the button, jets on full, jets on half, jets off. OK it works. I also explained about the low volt/amp switch that made it safer to work on, the dedicated high amp circuit that is more dangerous, but protected by a GFI.I’m bad. Electricity, wires, oh my. She should thank me, he’ll be able to fix stuff for her, just like I did when I was a kid. But she’ll probably complain about how dangerous it was.
Well we have the lights, we’re upstairs, so he wanted to go up into the attic and look for “aliens”. While we were up there he wanted to cover the attic opening with something. He pulled some wood and drywall across the opening. He wondered how strong the drywall was and how it worked. I warned him that it couldn’t hold weight. I showed him how easy it was to score and break it to the size he wanted to cover the last section. Then he took some tools and said they were alien weapons we needed to put in our belts as we went from top to bottom of the house making sure there were none.
I’m bad. Ladders, attic, dark.
Next we figured out where to put his wall maps and cork board. I moved it up & down until it was at the right height, he marked the wall. He showed me, mommy’s poor rushed spackling job on the wall, she didn’t even scrape the excess off, it’s lumpy. He was laughing at it, I told him that one of the tools he found before was what you used to smooth it out.
He wanted to play with the motion detector webcam software, but I had my laptop connected to my home office hub doing some things and couldn’t move it around. Besides it was time to eat. Get him dinner. He ate a lot.
I’m bad. We should have done his nightly reading (as homework) earlier. Well I got him reading. Opps, I interrupted his reading with a question and that got him curious, he went to my room. He found some neon paint I had bought for him. He got excited, he told me he got a blacklight for his birthday (I knew that) and that Mommy had it & wouldn’t let him use it because it could break. Well I guess it could, but it wouldn’t be too hard to use it in a safe way.
I’m bad. I shouldn’t have interrupted his reading, he was about 5 minutes short of his nightly reading assignment. And here she was at my door at the new court ordered time, 30 minutes earlier than my previous time. “What !” she says indignantly, “You couldn’t finish his reading in four hours !”
[ Well, JSM (just shoot me), I made a mistake, I’m sorry. I can only have fun with him after school, I don’t get any weekends at all. ]I usually get him to do all his homework. I incorporate practical lessons in our activities over and above the homework. Probably a habit I picked up from working as professional staff at a University for 19 years and as part time faculty for 10 years (while working as full time staff).
So, whatdaya think. Am I bad? Hang me at dawn? Lotta poor judgment here according to my wife and the court.
Ya know what, who are these a—holes who would judge me?
I’m not bad, she’s nuts !
Photos added 01/30/07
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
My wife and Britney Spears
Wow what kind of comparison is that? Well my wife doesn’t look like, dance like, isn’t as young as or rich as Britney (not even remotely close) so what could they have in common?
They both have terribly unreasonable restrictions on visitation. Just like my wife, Britney restricts KFed to three days per week 4 hours per day.
Oh yeah, and neither woman is a model mother.
And both women hired the highest price/powered lawyer in the area (except my wife can’t afford it, Britney can). Britney has asked that each party pay their own legal expenses, my wife has asked me to pay them.
But Britney goes one better than my wife. Thank God I have a signed agreement so she can’t steal any of Britney’s ideas. KFed can only visit the kids at her place and she is allowed to supervise the visit. This is only for this month, it could be worse for next month.
On second thought, since the kids are 1 year old and new born, it’s likely Britney is playing the male gender can’t care for little ones card. That makes my wife’s restrictions for a seven year old boy even more ridiculous.
Wow, another blow to fatherhood. KFed, I feel for ya.
They both have terribly unreasonable restrictions on visitation. Just like my wife, Britney restricts KFed to three days per week 4 hours per day.
Oh yeah, and neither woman is a model mother.
And both women hired the highest price/powered lawyer in the area (except my wife can’t afford it, Britney can). Britney has asked that each party pay their own legal expenses, my wife has asked me to pay them.
But Britney goes one better than my wife. Thank God I have a signed agreement so she can’t steal any of Britney’s ideas. KFed can only visit the kids at her place and she is allowed to supervise the visit. This is only for this month, it could be worse for next month.
On second thought, since the kids are 1 year old and new born, it’s likely Britney is playing the male gender can’t care for little ones card. That makes my wife’s restrictions for a seven year old boy even more ridiculous.
Wow, another blow to fatherhood. KFed, I feel for ya.
Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about KFed, I’m only commenting about his crappy visitation.
Status: Third Draft - Updated 1/10 1o:15 pmTuesday, January 09, 2007
My Lawyers
Here’s a little history of how I happened to go through so many legal firms. Later I’ll tell you some of the difficulties in changing lawyers.
Before my lawyers - Mediator # 1
So that’s the history so far. Pretty screwed up…
Before my lawyers - Mediator # 1
Unlike my wife who had been consulting with several lawyers prior to our separation, I thought we would progress in good faith through mediation. One day in March 2005, she announced to me and the mediator that she had signed a lease for an apartment and would be moving out. My thoughts focused on my son first, how could he be prepared for this trauma?Lawyer # 1
Several days before her scheduled move, she took my sleeping son from his bed to destinations unknown. Now I needed a lawyer quickly. I chose one who advertised in the yellow pages as specializing in Men’s Rights thinking that would be best for obtaining access to my son.Lawyer # 2
For only $5,000 flat fee he would provide legal service up to a trial. Well some advertise less than a $1,000 for a simple divorce, so it seemed I should get good service.
He emphasized the idea to move quickly and be the Plaintiff. There was one difficulty, where was she? He served her by certified mail, which she refused. She served me by process server (unnecessary, because it didn’t occur to me to evade service). My case was filed first, but service failed. Her action was accepted because of successful service. My action was dismissed as redundant and I was joined as defendant.
She filed for sole custody and also filed for restricted visitation for me. My lawyers have refused to file for visitation for me on the grounds that it would be redundant. Thus the opposition continues to control the motions on my visitation. (That’s right it makes no sense).
She filed restraining orders freezing me out of everything while at the same time raiding everything for herself, since she was yet to be served with restraining orders.
So what was my phone book lawyer doing, not much, he had my cash. Turns out, not only was this guy not a Men’s Right’s specialist, he wasn’t even a divorce specialist. He did just about anything in the northern half of our state. Living in the most populated metro area with the biggest court, most lawyers confine themselves to just one or two counties, not half the state. The result, he was never available, nothing got done.
So forget the phone book. I got a reference from a friend. I interviewed the lawyer. She was confident that she could go against the opposition, she was very experienced, only divorce, only two counties.No Lawyer – Pro Se
Things started out good, progress was being made. Then the opposition started playing hard ball. I was told a rosy story only to find out later (by demanding inter-lawyer correspondence) that things were headed south.
Then I had a year end bonus, representing 2.5 years of child support (which equals my mortgage) seized. For six months the lawyers bickered while my money sat, inaccessible to me.
The stress on my lawyer was showing, at one point she was near tears because she could not overcome the opposition’s tactics. This wasn’t going to work, even she knew it. I expressed my desire to discharge her, she petitioned the court to withdrawal. Motion denied.
Whoa, I’m stuck? I waited until five minutes before the next hearing, I informed the bailiff that I was not being represented by competent counsel and was being deprived of my constitution right to due process.Lawyer # 3
The judge’s hand was forced, he’d been set up, this would be an appealable error. Bad mark on the record. I was called into chambers (the inner sanctum) while my wife sat outside like an ass/statue.
My lawyer was told to vacate the defendant’s chair, I was invited to sit down. In 30 minutes I took care of 6 of 8 motions that had been stale for six months, including the six month hold on the bonus. I’ll have to post about the in-chambers experience it was bizarre.
The judge was pleased and he didn’t want the progress to slip by (the opposition has a habit of reneging on the deal). He ordered the parties to stay until the motion judgment entries (AJE) could be written, reviewed, signed by all parties, signed by the judge. I signed as Pro Se defendant.
But it is a club, and as impressed as he was, he told me it was “too complex” for me to do alone and ordered me to find another lawyer in three weeks. Actually I don’t think this is legal, but I was intimidated.
OK, now I’m doing research. State Superlawyer Award standing. Matrimonial professional ratings, mediation practice, trial litigation experience, detailed interview. Well someone, my prior lawyer or the opposition had gotten to some, and they withdrew. They all know each other, great.Lawyer # 4?
The judge is impressed with my choice, he’s even more impressed with the results. For the first time, the opposition has been brought to the bargaining table, making progress. Guess what, one trick pony pulls a last minute hard ball. Even I saw it coming, what’s up that it wasn’t averted?
My lawyer tells me she can do it “cus she can” and lawyers have a license to f—k with people.
I’m not happy!
I wish I could retain the firm that was my first choice. But the odds of the judge allowing another change is unlikely.Mediator # 2
The parenting plan already names a mediator to deal with post decree issues and hopefully expand my access.
So that’s the history so far. Pretty screwed up…
Tough on Lawyers
This is the third legal firm that has represented me. And if I could, I’d bounce them, but it is unlikely to happen. The lawyers would probably call me an unreasonably demanding client. That may be true only in their strange world where they believe their time is worth more than several dollars for every single minute regardless of whether they achieve any results.
I will admit to be demanding, but no more demanding than the demands made of me by others or by myself. What do I have to do to earn stratospheric income. Well let me relay to you the closest thing to that, I call it my project from hell. While our startup firm was going under (see Tagged V2) we came across a big opportunity. Over six months full time consulting as a working project leader on a large data center move. The technical challenge was well within my area of expertise, I had done about a dozen similar projects, most people never get an opportunity to gain that much experience. The billable rate is over $100 per hour, total revenue over $150,000. That would do it, that would save the company.
Opps they forgot to tell me something. It was a political hot potato, the project failed twice before, and heads did roll. Just saying the project name sent people scampering in all directions for cover. The guy I was replacing saw me as his savior and liberator, I never saw someone so happy to leave a job. Now the way things work, I get less than half of billable. So I’m working hard, what else is new. What do I do for that. Zero defects, no performance hits, on deadline or bust your butt, oh yeah risky changes in the middle of the night and manager’s meetings first thing in the morning (will anyone notice I didn’t go home). To bring the project in on time at the end of 6 months, I worked 6 weeks, 7 days/week, 10 hours/day, no days off. Results – success. I managed work of six people. During the last 3 weeks, one issue was so critical that staff was assigned in shifts for 24/7 coverage.
All for net $40/hour plus bonus. Damn I’m a bargain. So when some yahoo wants six to nine times that, with no deadlines, no guarantees, plenty of defects on bankers hours. And then screws up. Well than I’m kinda tough on them – f—kin pussys. So let’s summarize.
Is it reasonable for me to measure lawyers on the real world in which I live or their world?
They don’t think so, I do. We disagree.
I will admit to be demanding, but no more demanding than the demands made of me by others or by myself. What do I have to do to earn stratospheric income. Well let me relay to you the closest thing to that, I call it my project from hell. While our startup firm was going under (see Tagged V2) we came across a big opportunity. Over six months full time consulting as a working project leader on a large data center move. The technical challenge was well within my area of expertise, I had done about a dozen similar projects, most people never get an opportunity to gain that much experience. The billable rate is over $100 per hour, total revenue over $150,000. That would do it, that would save the company.
Opps they forgot to tell me something. It was a political hot potato, the project failed twice before, and heads did roll. Just saying the project name sent people scampering in all directions for cover. The guy I was replacing saw me as his savior and liberator, I never saw someone so happy to leave a job. Now the way things work, I get less than half of billable. So I’m working hard, what else is new. What do I do for that. Zero defects, no performance hits, on deadline or bust your butt, oh yeah risky changes in the middle of the night and manager’s meetings first thing in the morning (will anyone notice I didn’t go home). To bring the project in on time at the end of 6 months, I worked 6 weeks, 7 days/week, 10 hours/day, no days off. Results – success. I managed work of six people. During the last 3 weeks, one issue was so critical that staff was assigned in shifts for 24/7 coverage.
All for net $40/hour plus bonus. Damn I’m a bargain. So when some yahoo wants six to nine times that, with no deadlines, no guarantees, plenty of defects on bankers hours. And then screws up. Well than I’m kinda tough on them – f—kin pussys. So let’s summarize.
| | Real World | Lawyer’s World |
| Billable Rate | $125/hr | $250-350/hr |
| Paying for | Results | Regardless |
| Results | Defined / Guaranteed | Whatever |
| Hours | 24/7 as much as it takes | 9-5, maybe a Sat |
| Provider | Zero defects/impact | No guarantees |
| Provider | Client is free to seek other providers | Client is exclusive to lawyer upon appearance until judge accepts withdrawal |
| Time Frame | Firm Deadlines | No time estimate at all |
| Insulation | Customer insulated from impact | Impotent to protect client from opposing parties license to F—K |
| Client Treatment | Very responsive, loosing a large client can destroy the company | As a meal ticket |
| Client Response | Return page within 15 minutes 24/7. | Return calls in several days or a week. |
| Client Load | Only as many as can be handled without impacting service | As many as possible, service degradation is not considered. |
| Number of Clients | Six | Dozens |
| If client is dissatisfied | Bounced out the door, better cash any checks before they get a stop payment. | Need to ask permission from judge who can deny it. Payment for poor services will be seized by court order. |
| Reaction to client complaint | Make it right with the meter stopped. | Well you can discharge me if you want. |
| Potential Impact | Major data center disruption, million dollar potential loss. | Destroyed lives. |
| Results | Success | Still Breathing, failure is an option. |
Note: Updated Table Entries in Bold
Is it reasonable for me to measure lawyers on the real world in which I live or their world?
They don’t think so, I do. We disagree.
PS: So why am I pissed at my current lawyer, read the comment.
Last Updated: 1/10/07 2:30 am
Pre-Trial Process
So what is actually supposed to be going on while you are sitting in the hall like a jerk while the lawyers are in with the judge? Each state has Family Laws and each county court can have local rules. The following are the local rules for my county court as to the purpose of pre-trial conferences. This general idea is likely to be common in other jurisdictions, but you must check your county court's local rules to be sure. They may be posted on the web.
In practice, I’ve found that the lawyers just bicker and jockey for positions without really following these rules. I have challenged my lawyers on the above items, but it can be difficult to get a lawyer to follow your directions.
Some actions are contradictory. Ideally there should be an effort to negotiate a settlement. Some discovery, witness, and expert witness activities are not needed if settlement is successful. You will want to push your lawyer toward settlement activities early on rather than wasting time (and lots of money) on preparing for a trial that hopefully will never occur. In practice lawyers will try to spend time on trial preparation first and play a waiting game on the settlement. This has the added benefit (for the lawyers) of increasing billable hours. Nice gig, huh? Try to redirect and manage your lawyer, but it will be difficult.
I will review the entire local rule text and may post an edited copy (removing references to where I live).
- narrow the legal issues in controversy;
- admit to facts not in dispute;
- stipulate to the genuineness of documents and other exhibits to be introduced at trial;
- advise the Court on the need and time required for additional discovery and establish a binding discovery schedule;
- exchange medical reports, psychological reports, and hospital records;
- exchange reports of expert witnesses expected to be called at trial;
- address issues of asset valuation
- discuss referral to Family Conciliation Service, the Investigation Department, and/or any available alternative dispute resolution program.
- discuss allocation of parental rights and responsibilities for the care of the child(ren);
- discuss content of proposed shared parenting plans; and
- determine if additional pretrial conferences are necessary
In practice, I’ve found that the lawyers just bicker and jockey for positions without really following these rules. I have challenged my lawyers on the above items, but it can be difficult to get a lawyer to follow your directions.
Some actions are contradictory. Ideally there should be an effort to negotiate a settlement. Some discovery, witness, and expert witness activities are not needed if settlement is successful. You will want to push your lawyer toward settlement activities early on rather than wasting time (and lots of money) on preparing for a trial that hopefully will never occur. In practice lawyers will try to spend time on trial preparation first and play a waiting game on the settlement. This has the added benefit (for the lawyers) of increasing billable hours. Nice gig, huh? Try to redirect and manage your lawyer, but it will be difficult.
I will review the entire local rule text and may post an edited copy (removing references to where I live).
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Phases of Divorce
I've been referring to the various Phases of Divorce. I thought I'd clearly define them here so you understand them better. This will be a readers digest version, a fuller version will be posted later.
Settlement Issues
Pendente Lite - Temporary child and spousal support ordered during Phase I.
Phase II - Forced Settlement Negotiation - Shadow Trial
So in two weeks, I'll have my 5th and last Phase II Trial Date. My lawyer is certain it will end in failure because of the stubbornness of opposing counsel. The other party isn't likely to change.
But there is one possibility, this particular judge has quite a reputation for forcing settlement talks late into the evening. Several lawyers have independently told me stories of how this judge has kept all parties in court as late as 2am. One lawyer complained that he was at health risk because of diabetes that the judge would not make allowances for (no meal breaks).
If this is unsuccessful then a Phase III Trial date will be scheduled. A witness list will be presented. The judge will make the decisions and issue orders at the completion of all witness' testimony. This is what my lawyer expects to occur. We'll see.
Settlement Issues
- Parenting Plan
- Property Division
- Child Support
- Spousal Support
After the divorce is filed, lawyers will make various motions, the court will require various forms. The goal of the pre-trial is to settle or narrow down as many issues as possible. Lawyers go into judges chambers, spouses wait in the hall in case some question arises. Discovery of facts is done in this phase. Pre-trial hearings last about an hour although you may be waiting around because the judge is busy.TROs - Temporary Restraining Orders (freezing assets, use of marital home or property) issued after filing or during Phase I.
Pendente Lite - Temporary child and spousal support ordered during Phase I.
Phase II - Forced Settlement Negotiation - Shadow Trial
This is something I've never read about and it could be an issue of local court discretion, but I think one of my regular readers in another state is in this phase also. My lawyer calls it a shadow trial, it is listed on the docket as a Trial Date and it is scheduled for at least 6 hours per date. All lawyers are in the court room bickering over the settlement issues. The judge drops in occasionally to ask if things are moving forward. The lawyers will say yes so as not to appear poorly to the judge. If he's in a good mood he'll accept their BS.Phase III - Trial
About 2% of the divorces go all the way to trial. The judge dons his rob, court reporters record all the testimony, whether its true or not. Parties and Witnesses are put on the stand and questioned by both lawyers. Simple trials may last several Trial Dates, not necessarily on contiguous days.Currently we only have a signed Parenting Plan. There is a temporary order for child/spousal support (equal to my monthly mortgage). There is no agreement on Property Division. As far as I know Personal Property division is OK, it's the house and other financial issues that are unresolved (although she has not spelled out her demands).
So in two weeks, I'll have my 5th and last Phase II Trial Date. My lawyer is certain it will end in failure because of the stubbornness of opposing counsel. The other party isn't likely to change.
But there is one possibility, this particular judge has quite a reputation for forcing settlement talks late into the evening. Several lawyers have independently told me stories of how this judge has kept all parties in court as late as 2am. One lawyer complained that he was at health risk because of diabetes that the judge would not make allowances for (no meal breaks).
If this is unsuccessful then a Phase III Trial date will be scheduled. A witness list will be presented. The judge will make the decisions and issue orders at the completion of all witness' testimony. This is what my lawyer expects to occur. We'll see.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Playing Dumb
So what did my wife's lawyer do. She only knows one trick - Delay. Well she played dumb to cause the delay.
First, I was always taught ignorance of the law is no excuse. Second, as a over twenty year veteran in the leading divorce legal firm of the state, top 50 woman divorce lawyer in the nation, how does one play the dumb card. It's not like she is a 19 year old blonde swimsuit model (not that I would subscribe to that stereotype).
As a short, caustic, lying, brass ball packing, well organized, matronly old lady who enjoys kissing judges asses, how do people not call her on this dumb routine?
I hope I get the chance to say something to her, I will just come right out and say ["Lady you may be a lot of things, but you are not stupid, and you are making a mockery of everyone in the court including the judge to pull this feigned ignorance stunt"]. Of course, even I wouldn't call her a "cunt" like my lawyer did, geez, gotta draw the line somewhere.
If I wouldn't get thrown in jail for contempt, I'd be very tempted to ask ["Judge, are you really going to let this lady make an asshole out of you?]. Better yet, I'll try to get my lawyer to say that or agree with me on that on my recorder, then I'll really have some leverage over that pussy. Hey I just realized, as I'm typing this, when I called my lawyer a pussy, I may have hurt his manhood so bad that I prompted him into calling his opponent a cunt.
The only thing I can think of is trying to call her on it. I asked my lawyer "How can somebody that old and that experienced play dumb?". He replied "cus she can, that's what she's doing, that's the game she's playing, I don't care, and you shouldn't care either". Why should I not care? It costs me and my son.
Any other ideas on the ignorance defense?
Status: Very Rough Draft – will finalize quotes after I replay the wav file. When the draft is final quoted items will be "verbatim" from the recording, bracketed items will be my thoughts, not necessarily my words. Last updated 1/6 noon.
First, I was always taught ignorance of the law is no excuse. Second, as a over twenty year veteran in the leading divorce legal firm of the state, top 50 woman divorce lawyer in the nation, how does one play the dumb card. It's not like she is a 19 year old blonde swimsuit model (not that I would subscribe to that stereotype).
As a short, caustic, lying, brass ball packing, well organized, matronly old lady who enjoys kissing judges asses, how do people not call her on this dumb routine?
I hope I get the chance to say something to her, I will just come right out and say ["Lady you may be a lot of things, but you are not stupid, and you are making a mockery of everyone in the court including the judge to pull this feigned ignorance stunt"]. Of course, even I wouldn't call her a "cunt" like my lawyer did, geez, gotta draw the line somewhere.
If I wouldn't get thrown in jail for contempt, I'd be very tempted to ask ["Judge, are you really going to let this lady make an asshole out of you?]. Better yet, I'll try to get my lawyer to say that or agree with me on that on my recorder, then I'll really have some leverage over that pussy. Hey I just realized, as I'm typing this, when I called my lawyer a pussy, I may have hurt his manhood so bad that I prompted him into calling his opponent a cunt.
The only thing I can think of is trying to call her on it. I asked my lawyer "How can somebody that old and that experienced play dumb?". He replied "cus she can, that's what she's doing, that's the game she's playing, I don't care, and you shouldn't care either". Why should I not care? It costs me and my son.
Any other ideas on the ignorance defense?
Status: Very Rough Draft – will finalize quotes after I replay the wav file. When the draft is final quoted items will be "verbatim" from the recording, bracketed items will be my thoughts, not necessarily my words. Last updated 1/6 noon.
My lawyer is excited
All right, a settlement, it’s over, right? No, it’s because the opposition has created a total impasse. That means it will have to go to Phase III litigation, oh boy, he’ll get me on the stand and he’ll show that “f—kin cunt” up. Yup my lawyer used a phrase even nastier than I would ever use in referring to my wife’s lawyer. Don’t believe me? Maybe I should post the wav file.
[Goes to show you how smart my lawyer is, he can't even tell gender, my wife's lawyer may be a woman, but she has the biggest pair of brass balls in the courthouse, except for one firm, see Circles of Hell]
Yep, I live in a state that allows recording when you are a party to a conversation without notification or permission to the other parties. Think of it as very accurate note taking. And when you go through as much as I have, for as long as I have, you have too much crap to remember. Recording it solves the problem. I have the Olympus VN PC series. It connects to a PC by USB and downloads recordings as date/time stamped wav files. I highly recommend it. I have over 800 (2.5 GB of) recordings. I think it might make a nice audio book. Not just words, but the tone etc.
But guess what happened when I brought him back to reality, the goal, the desired results, get this done, for my son, for me. He said, "let me be excited about what kind of bitch she's being". "Now we're gonna start playin our f--kin games". He’s excited, he's having fun? At my expense? With the meter running? I don’t want to play any games. I never did. Stop the ride and let me off. That takes the cake and it’s all recorded.
The topic of this litigation process harassing me came up. My lawyer matter-of-factly said you aren’t being harassed. What? Oh yeah I have creditor threats, process servers, and this is what? Joyful? I used his own argument. I perceive this as harassment and perception is reality (in the courtroom), so I am being harassed, get on the same page. More on this in another post.
I said I need my funds released and he said, then sell the house. First, I can’t sell the house without the court’s permission, second I don’t need to if you let me access my money, third I have to live somewhere, and fourth if I did sell the house, the opposing lawyer would lock up those funds too and I’d be out on the street homeless just like my wife said I deserved to be.
So that was some great legal advice, but it was followed by better advice. Don’t pay your mortgage, then it will put financial pressure on her. Really, I think it will put a foreclosure notice on my front door. No it won’t, he says, Oh yes it will I said. Oh you think you know everything he says. My response was "You don't know what the f--k you're talking about, you didn't have a bank process server come to your home last summer and plaster a notice on your door, I have, so you don't know". He didn't like my outburst. I responded, "Well you are provoking me, you are giving me bad advice. I don't agree that loosing the house is a good idea. I need a solution".
He ends the conversation in total oblivion with, well there is nothing to do but wait for her to put this in writing. To which I counter, oh no, I don’t want to wait, I need access to my funds now. So you come up with a solution.
He says don’t violate any TROs (temporary restraining orders). I said Let me put you on notice right now, I’m not loosing the house over your silly games, So you find a solution.
I listened to the recording very carefully again and I think I found the source of his agitation, if she pulls off her stunt, it could jeopardize me paying his fees. Wow big surprise, the simple answer, it's all about money.
So go ahead pussy lawyer, make my day, and I’ll have the last laugh posting a wav file. Or maybe I’ll email it to the “cunt” so she knows what you really think of her, because I know you are all prim and proper in the court room. Or how about the judge, what would he think of your candid assessment.
Status: Very Rough Draft – will finalize quotes after I replay the wav file. When the draft is final quoted items will be "verbatim" from the recording, bracketed items will be my thoughts, not necessarily my words. Last updated 1/6 7:30 am.
PS: As always, the language is not meant to offend, it is a direct quote from my lawyer, and I can prove it. It is shocking, but it is what really goes on.
[Goes to show you how smart my lawyer is, he can't even tell gender, my wife's lawyer may be a woman, but she has the biggest pair of brass balls in the courthouse, except for one firm, see Circles of Hell]
Yep, I live in a state that allows recording when you are a party to a conversation without notification or permission to the other parties. Think of it as very accurate note taking. And when you go through as much as I have, for as long as I have, you have too much crap to remember. Recording it solves the problem. I have the Olympus VN PC series. It connects to a PC by USB and downloads recordings as date/time stamped wav files. I highly recommend it. I have over 800 (2.5 GB of) recordings. I think it might make a nice audio book. Not just words, but the tone etc.
But guess what happened when I brought him back to reality, the goal, the desired results, get this done, for my son, for me. He said, "let me be excited about what kind of bitch she's being". "Now we're gonna start playin our f--kin games". He’s excited, he's having fun? At my expense? With the meter running? I don’t want to play any games. I never did. Stop the ride and let me off. That takes the cake and it’s all recorded.
The topic of this litigation process harassing me came up. My lawyer matter-of-factly said you aren’t being harassed. What? Oh yeah I have creditor threats, process servers, and this is what? Joyful? I used his own argument. I perceive this as harassment and perception is reality (in the courtroom), so I am being harassed, get on the same page. More on this in another post.
I said I need my funds released and he said, then sell the house. First, I can’t sell the house without the court’s permission, second I don’t need to if you let me access my money, third I have to live somewhere, and fourth if I did sell the house, the opposing lawyer would lock up those funds too and I’d be out on the street homeless just like my wife said I deserved to be.
So that was some great legal advice, but it was followed by better advice. Don’t pay your mortgage, then it will put financial pressure on her. Really, I think it will put a foreclosure notice on my front door. No it won’t, he says, Oh yes it will I said. Oh you think you know everything he says. My response was "You don't know what the f--k you're talking about, you didn't have a bank process server come to your home last summer and plaster a notice on your door, I have, so you don't know". He didn't like my outburst. I responded, "Well you are provoking me, you are giving me bad advice. I don't agree that loosing the house is a good idea. I need a solution".
He ends the conversation in total oblivion with, well there is nothing to do but wait for her to put this in writing. To which I counter, oh no, I don’t want to wait, I need access to my funds now. So you come up with a solution.
He says don’t violate any TROs (temporary restraining orders). I said Let me put you on notice right now, I’m not loosing the house over your silly games, So you find a solution.
I listened to the recording very carefully again and I think I found the source of his agitation, if she pulls off her stunt, it could jeopardize me paying his fees. Wow big surprise, the simple answer, it's all about money.
So go ahead pussy lawyer, make my day, and I’ll have the last laugh posting a wav file. Or maybe I’ll email it to the “cunt” so she knows what you really think of her, because I know you are all prim and proper in the court room. Or how about the judge, what would he think of your candid assessment.
Status: Very Rough Draft – will finalize quotes after I replay the wav file. When the draft is final quoted items will be "verbatim" from the recording, bracketed items will be my thoughts, not necessarily my words. Last updated 1/6 7:30 am.
PS: As always, the language is not meant to offend, it is a direct quote from my lawyer, and I can prove it. It is shocking, but it is what really goes on.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
New Year, Old Tricks
The one trick pony hired bitch is up to her same old tricks. Delay, Delay, Delay. Forces me to loose money, forces me to spend money. Puts more white hair in my bathroom drain, more nails into my coffin.
Just like the parenting plan, she has been mum for several trial dates on the financial settlement. Last week she was to have her full counter-proposal, all she had was half of the proposal questioned with nebulous accusations. She was to provide specifics of those questions first thing this week. She hasn’t! When she does, I’ll have busy work to respond.
The judge should have sanctioned her for being unprepared for trial without cause. Apparently he just lets the lawyers have their way. He watches like a spectator rather than jumping in like a referee as he should in his position of judge. My lawyer says the judge can’t do this or that. Anyone who has spent time in court knows that’s pure Bulls--t. The judge can do anything in his court, things the average person would find alarming and distressing.
The priovious trial date was supposed to be the last, but with some song & dance, she duped the judge into another one, the 5th, which is now supposedly the last.
Will the judge realize that the opposition lawyer is making an asshole out of him? Will my lawyer have the balls to tell the judge? Or will he be a pussy? I’m betting that it won’t be over.
My lawyer says, oh no, there won’t be a sixth, instead, the phase III trial will be scheduled (as it was supposed to have already). My costs for phase II trial dates was $5K each, phase III will likely be much more. Phase III will force the judge to don his robe and require a court reporter. Witnesses will be sworn in, they will lie under oath, just as I have seen happen so many times before in my many times as a juror. The judge will decide, based on lies and perception.
I have a little day dream that diverts my attention. It is that the judge is giving the opposition just enough rope to hang themselves. In the dream, I am close enough to hear the snap of the rope and the crack of the neck of my wife’s hired hand as the judge cries out - "Make an ass of me in my courtroom, will you? That is the penalty! "
What will happen? Who knows? There is only one thing for certain – it will cost me and my son.
That is life in the litigation lane
Updated 1/4 4:45 am
Just like the parenting plan, she has been mum for several trial dates on the financial settlement. Last week she was to have her full counter-proposal, all she had was half of the proposal questioned with nebulous accusations. She was to provide specifics of those questions first thing this week. She hasn’t! When she does, I’ll have busy work to respond.
The judge should have sanctioned her for being unprepared for trial without cause. Apparently he just lets the lawyers have their way. He watches like a spectator rather than jumping in like a referee as he should in his position of judge. My lawyer says the judge can’t do this or that. Anyone who has spent time in court knows that’s pure Bulls--t. The judge can do anything in his court, things the average person would find alarming and distressing.
The priovious trial date was supposed to be the last, but with some song & dance, she duped the judge into another one, the 5th, which is now supposedly the last.
Will the judge realize that the opposition lawyer is making an asshole out of him? Will my lawyer have the balls to tell the judge? Or will he be a pussy? I’m betting that it won’t be over.
My lawyer says, oh no, there won’t be a sixth, instead, the phase III trial will be scheduled (as it was supposed to have already). My costs for phase II trial dates was $5K each, phase III will likely be much more. Phase III will force the judge to don his robe and require a court reporter. Witnesses will be sworn in, they will lie under oath, just as I have seen happen so many times before in my many times as a juror. The judge will decide, based on lies and perception.
I have a little day dream that diverts my attention. It is that the judge is giving the opposition just enough rope to hang themselves. In the dream, I am close enough to hear the snap of the rope and the crack of the neck of my wife’s hired hand as the judge cries out - "Make an ass of me in my courtroom, will you? That is the penalty! "
What will happen? Who knows? There is only one thing for certain – it will cost me and my son.
That is life in the litigation lane
Updated 1/4 4:45 am
It takes more than love
In a conversation, someone made a suggestion that would show the court my capacity for love of my son. Everyone knows of Mother’s Love, but do people understand a Father’s Love. My son would describe it in the stereotypical male way – "that mushy stuff". While males express their emotions differently, it is no less important.
The surprising part is I have been told that all the court officers have no doubt of my love for my son, but apparently that doesn’t make me a good parent. In fact I’ve been told there is no doubt that I have his best interests (BIC) in mind. Every time I try to pin them down they keep telling me about no doubts of this or that.
So what is it? Some old grudge? I pissed someone off, I didn’t kiss someone’s ring (ass)? The answer is I didn't play the game the way they wanted me to. I was different than what they expected. Why should a Father want to see his son more than every other weekend anyway? That is their standard, but it's not mine. The court gets hung up on something and they just can’t let it go, like a pit-bull, no emotion, no common sense, just reflexes. Of course it helps that the hired pit-bull bitch representing my wife keeps ranting, fabricating, exaggerating, etc.
So the court expects you to play the perfect game. Hmm, another cognitive distortion – perfection. As if? As if the court is so perfect. As if my wife is so perfect. As if the perfect game has any relation to being even a mediocre parent let alone a good one. The fact is, their game, their perceived perfections and imperfections have squat to do with parenting or BIC. That’s why families are so screwed up these days.
That is our legacy for the next generation. The stakes are high when playing games that can screw up a generation. We’ll all admit that some day. I declare it and accuse it today. May God help those who don't understand how they are hurting the next generation.
So you may ask, What's love got to do with it (parenting)? Absouletly Nothing (according to the court). And since they barely know him and certainly don't love him and yet they feel the need to make very drastic decsions relating to his welfare, well you can see that is truely their belief. It is very instructional to understand their beliefs because that drives their actions and their actions can drive you nuts.
And then these ignorant people complain and ask where are the Father's?
You've chased them away.
Status: Second Draft - Updated 01/02 2:15 pm
The surprising part is I have been told that all the court officers have no doubt of my love for my son, but apparently that doesn’t make me a good parent. In fact I’ve been told there is no doubt that I have his best interests (BIC) in mind. Every time I try to pin them down they keep telling me about no doubts of this or that.
So what is it? Some old grudge? I pissed someone off, I didn’t kiss someone’s ring (ass)? The answer is I didn't play the game the way they wanted me to. I was different than what they expected. Why should a Father want to see his son more than every other weekend anyway? That is their standard, but it's not mine. The court gets hung up on something and they just can’t let it go, like a pit-bull, no emotion, no common sense, just reflexes. Of course it helps that the hired pit-bull bitch representing my wife keeps ranting, fabricating, exaggerating, etc.
So the court expects you to play the perfect game. Hmm, another cognitive distortion – perfection. As if? As if the court is so perfect. As if my wife is so perfect. As if the perfect game has any relation to being even a mediocre parent let alone a good one. The fact is, their game, their perceived perfections and imperfections have squat to do with parenting or BIC. That’s why families are so screwed up these days.
That is our legacy for the next generation. The stakes are high when playing games that can screw up a generation. We’ll all admit that some day. I declare it and accuse it today. May God help those who don't understand how they are hurting the next generation.
So you may ask, What's love got to do with it (parenting)? Absouletly Nothing (according to the court). And since they barely know him and certainly don't love him and yet they feel the need to make very drastic decsions relating to his welfare, well you can see that is truely their belief. It is very instructional to understand their beliefs because that drives their actions and their actions can drive you nuts.
And then these ignorant people complain and ask where are the Father's?
You've chased them away.
Status: Second Draft - Updated 01/02 2:15 pm
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