Bulls--t Bet

I'm being pressured into a sucker's sweetheart settlement agreement. The opposition has been completely unwilling to have any discussions at all.

My lawyer justifies this as, "Oh we have to do what the judge says, so this can be ended" on March 12 at the sixth Phase II Trial Date. Well I don't mean to rain on my own parade, but who are you trying to fool here. That smells like bullshit, and I'd rather pass. Rather than harassing me, why not get the judge to do his job and decide if the oppositions lack of cooperation in even talking about any of this is appropriate. Oh, we'll do that IF she continues to be uncooperative after this proposal. We've been doing that for 5 Trial Dates, what is so special now? In baseball you get 3 strikes, not six.

Then in a completely idiotic tone, he asks me, "Don't you want to get it over with?" Yeah, jackass, why don't you do something different than the last 5 of your failures? Why don't you talk to the person who's causing the delay with a little of that firmness? Afraid of the old bag? (my wife's lawyer). Maybe she reminds you of your own Mommy and you just can't say no to her? What a wimp, what a pussy.

Then he implies how much of her lawyer's fees I should pay? Uh, I'm not in the habit of paying for someone to screw me. And besides I'm already paying you and getting screwed. Hell it's a damn orgy with all the lawyers, Guardian, Evaluator, Court Fees, I'm getting screwed with, and apparently everyone is enjoying it except me.

So then he says, oh her lawyer typically asks for a ridiculous amount and has nothing to back it up, so we'll have to litigate it in a Phase III trial. I can't wait to see the amount, it will be so funny. Not to me ! So now you are admitting that it is impossible for it to be over next week? Well, uh... Typical lying sack lawyer, talking out of both sides of their mouth.

Why must we wait for a week when you know what she'll do? How about some proactive prevention here, how about plan B?

I'm a realist and I won't take the bullshit bet, I bet that it won't end next week. I'd be thrilled if it would. But promised dates have come and gone. Until someone stands up, makes a decision, and kicks some ass. Now that's not macho talking, that's an observable fact, for the last 2 years. Reasonable efforts have been plied and died. If my lawyer or the judge doesn't do it next week, I'll have to fire his ass, and kick her lawyers ass myself. It's the only thing she understands. I have no idea when it will end, it's a fool's bet. And I'm no fool.

Status: First Draft - Updated 03/05/07 5:25 am