F--K Yeah!
After a long depressing session confronting my challenges, I should take my own advice right!
Giving advice is always easier than following it!
It would be easy to drown in my legal difficulties, I'm up to my eyeballs in paperwork to complete by Friday morning.
Thanks again to my strong son, after school, he started drawing on a big white board. Daddy come here & draw with me. So I did, we had fun with that for a while, then digital photography, then Halloween decorations, then his electric project kit (a gift from someone). It's pretty basic, so the other day I went to Radio Shack to get some more components to add to the kit. We had fun going through the bag of parts. I explained what they did and he hooked them together. I'll have to upgrade him straight to the advanced kit by Christmas at the rate he's going.
And in between all that, his homework, and I still got him dinner and he made his own desert, chocolate fudge ice cream, chocolate syrup, strawberry toping, with cherries on top and a side of fresh strawberries. He doesn't get that everyday.
We really did have loads of fun while it lasted.
And now for the brutal reality!
He was so happy with the blinking LED, he surprised Mommy with it. That's fine, but that's how I get in trouble sometimes. If he brags or exaggerates about anything, then it gets amplified, twisted, and aligated. Oh boy, could he get electrocuted on 2xAAAs or the desert was a bit extravagant, was it unhealthy? I'll find out by mail. Only 11 more years! Will we make it?
Wow, full day, huh? Yep, as much as I ever get - 4 hours, never more. For more than 18 months now. We've gotten good at doing a lot of things in a limited time. But it's a bummer, no time to take him too far.
And the newest proposal is for a court ordered 5 mile restriction (more in another post). He likes to play with his cousin and visit my parents house (where I grew up, it has a woods, he likes to explore it and ask me about the tree fort we had), but they both live over 30 miles away.
And when he drew a little family chart, he commented, I put your name first, you're fun, you're cool, you play, Mom just says go play and I don't have anything to do.
And the court says, let's keep the child where he is until his mother runs out of concerns.
My son spends more time with baby sitters (and her family of course), than my own family. And there are many people he spends more than the 4 hours he gets with me.
Thanks to the broken system.
That's how we have (limited) fun!
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8 comments:
This is heart wrenching for sure. I will be so glad (as clearly you will be as well) when this is settled. ALL of your points are SOOO valid. She is wasting so much money that could benefit all of your lives, especially that little guy!!
You are a great dad and your son clearly knows it. He will one day resent your ex for what she is doing. I cannot imagine how hard it is, but YOU WILL make it!!
Bravo for not giving in or up!!
Yeah heart, sometimes gut too. Seriously, there are times that I felt like throwing up. For the first six months I did well, but the unrelenting drip, drip, drip. New allegations, new threats, lawyer promises that fell through, agreements that are reneged on, after a year, it tears you down. She frequently shaves off as much as 30 min of my limited visitation without penalty.
I’ve mentioned it a few times, but my son’s strength, at his young age, in the face of all these restrictions, has been a very important reason that I’ve been able to persevere, he is truly an inspiration.
The money that’s wasted is mind boggling to the average adult, but someday when he understands it (he’ll be able to look it up on the internet) it’s really gonna backfire on her.
Thanks for the encouragement…
JQ
I visit your page occasionally, but I mostly stay away.
Why ??
Because the shit you are going through is horrid. I can't believe she is doing all that crap too you. What a B****. I'm afraid that if I visit your blog to often then it might happen to me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Right now I am expecting a simple divorce and agreement on everything. I don't want to think of anything else.
Be sure though that the moment it hits the fan I will be here reading every post you have written.
Mike
Sweetie- my heart goes out to you. May God bless you for being such awonderful, caring father. baby boy is worth every penny- he is your son, and you deserve as much time with him as possible.
Just a thought- a friend of mine asked for 1/2 custody (Illinois) and won it, and on top of that, whatever he buys for his sons- school clothes, coats, shoeas, supplies- comes out of his child support as long as he supplies receipts to the court. Can you get this?
I'm sorry JQ -I'm sure you feel like a prisoner. Really, I don't know what the difference is between a prisoner and a defendant in a divorce proceeding...
Both have to deal with pitbull lawyers, both have limited rights, and both feel like crap.
Oh, and MT, don't be surprised if the same thing happens to you. Some lawyers will make sure they spite your stbx, just to keep the tab rolling. (as my husband's did to me with my blog)
Hey, just checking in to see how you are doing...no post in a few days. Thanks for adding me to your sidebar BTW!! Thinkin' of ya!!
I truly can't even imagine how horrible this must be. I will never understand this kind of hate, and especially when a child is involved. Best of luck to you. It's just hard to even give words to it. You are an amazing man, and your knowledge of the court system is unreal, (unfortunately!)
JD
Thanks for the support!
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