Computer Illiterate Lawyers

Now most of you know that nearly all jobs require basic computer skills, like word processing and spreadsheets. I mean basic use, not fixing problems or knowing anything special, I mean typing documents in an outline format, like my 2nd grader is doing this year.

So if you are computer illiterate, you have few job options. But apparently there is still one good option left, become a divorce lawyer. You'll need to use one, but you can fumble your way through it on the job and bill your suckers (er, clients) full price $300/hr.

Not all lawyers do this of course, but some believe the law is so complicated that proper knowledge of using a computer is beneath them. When I say lawyers I mean the common variety divorce lawyers who are typically at the bottom of the barrel.

Corporate lawyers are in a different class, one of the biggest corporate law firms in this area makes extremely productive use of technology. I was very impressed and I've been doing this for over 25 years.

Why should it matter? Well first you pay way too much for something of way too low a quality. In my case, I actually found a legal flaw in the document based on improper section boundaries.

All the lawyers reviewed this for two weeks and did not catch it. You know why?

• They are too cozy with each other and trust their opposition.
• They expect you to trust them in reviewing it, and don't expect you'll actually take the time for a very careful review.
• They are going to charge you for reviewing it anyway. They don't expect you to object, and if you do, they will have a handy BS excuse.
  

Now you'd think if your whole business was formal documents and that in many cases (like a parenting plan) it will be reviewed and modified over more than a decade, that maybe it should be a notch above hunt & peck. And if you were talking about any other business, you'd be right.

In a 22 page document, 80 + errors, 10 + serious structural problems, 10 + serious content issues. I've seen boilerplates at the bookstore that were better organized and complete. And these don't cost the thousands I'm being billed.

Do you think the Guardian would be offended if her 7 year old client helped her with the computer?

I'm bad! What a terrible influence (in their mind) I would be on my son if I suggested that. But when he helped his grandma with an art program she was intrigued.

What's the difference? Well my parents love him for free, he's their flesh & blood and the Guardian ignores his needs for hundreds per hour, he's another sucker (er, what are we supposed to call them to their face?).

But then again, Domestic Relations Law is in a class by itself.
And I don't mean that in a good way.