An 11th hour reprieve

Several months ago, an uncooperative creditor refused to join the divorce settlement, instead preferring to play hard ball in a superior court. Of course my lawyers were made aware of this and as is their custom, said it was nothing to worry about. Of course it was nothing to worry about they weren't getting sued (yet). This Monday my lawyers remained non-committal on what they could do about my upcoming hearing on Wednesday for this lawsuit against me. No word on Tuesday. Damn useless lawyers. So Tuesday night I take all the various thoughts that had been rattling around for some time and try to format them for the court.

Trust my own damn lawyers to come through on the 11th hour, do I look fuckin stupid? No Plan B was overdue. Actually Plan B failed, this was Plan C. So here it is:

Your Honor,

My legal representation assured me they would take care of this matter since it was their negligence and breach of duty in addition to Plaintiff's inflexibility that caused this matter to be before this court. I made extreme efforts to resolve this matter with both the original creditor and with their agent who now comes before this Court as Plaintiff, neither expressed any interest in resolving it realistically. I was under the jurisdiction of another court and by order of that court my options to resolve this matter were extremely limited. They ignored this reality thinking that wasting this court's time would be a better option.

Since this case involves misbehavior of lawyers I have had significant difficulty obtaining representation willing to bring these significant factors to light. They are central to the case and this case would not exist if not for these factors. For this reason I can not accept the entire burden and forgive the contributory negligence of my counsel and opposition counsel in this matter.

At this time, I ask for a liberal continuance of this matter given its unfortunate complexity. I also ask that my former counsel, [pussy] and opposition counsel [hired bitch] be added as co-defendants for contributory negligence and that Judge [casual observer] be added as co-defendant for judicial negligence in failing to manage the lawyers in the case before him designated [case #], in the Domestic Relations Division of this Court.

I intend to show that none of the parties named acted in a reasonable fashion, that an opportunity existed to resolve this matter satisfactorily, that other creditors chose that route successfully and that due to the negligence of the Plaintiff and the Plaintiff's agent that they made an active decision to ignore that opportunity which has now contributed to their own complaint. I ask for a dismissal with prejudice in that the Plaintiff caused their own injuries. Failing that, I ask that each party be accessed a portion of the prayer amount in proportion to their contribution to it.

I intend to invoke my right to trial by a jury of my peers and seek the jury's findings in allocation of responsibility for this matter.

Ah but the senior partner understood his risks, and he came through Wednesday morning with an 11th hour reprieve, just hours before I was scheduled to appear. Five more weeks to refine Plan C and design Plan D.