Quantity vs Quality is a constant struggle. Given that I have such limited time with my son I try to make it quality time. So does that mean its OK to cheat me out of time with him? People associated with the case and my son's well being seem to think so. They are tired of hearing me complain about all my limitations. They want this fuckin NCP, that's me, to move on, don't focus on your limited time or the bitch that brought it to you, just enjoy it and shut the fuck up already. Does that make sense?
Well I guess if I were them and if I were an SOB/bastard/bitch, and if I were a lazy ass who did not want to take responsibility for my own incompetence and how it screwed other people's lives, then maybe I'd say the same thing. But I could not live with that sleaze of a person. Thank God, I'm not them, that would be my personal hell.
I do enjoy the limited time and so does he, but is it either/or black/white? NO! That is a recognized cognitive distortion requiring therapy. Well there could be examples where you are faced with that choice, but in my particular case its not a choice, its not logic, its just bullshit. Its one person's (the “winner's”) choice who doesn't care about their son and frankly takes joy in any misery she can cause me. If I was a good actor and could convince her that I hated spending time with my son, she'd increase visitation in a heartbeat.
But I'm disadvantaged. I was taught discipline, work ethic, the commandments, the golden rule, the value of education. Everything but what I really needed to get ahead in life, to manipulate, to lie, to take advantage of others, to take the easy way out. I never learned that, but my ex sure did, from her father who I should have met and got to know earlier. And my ex hates him, the person that gave her the tools she used so successfully on me.
Not being taught the cruel tools people use on each other has one advantage, you learn to recognize it the hard way, it is burned into your very being, so I will not fall for the propaganda, the positive spin, the sugar coated turd. No, my friends, I've swallowed one too many. I am a skeptic, cynical, and realistic. Save the happy horse shit for someone who wants to live in dream land or is into gardening, this boy has had his fill.
I will enjoy the limited time I have, but I will not give up until my son can see me whenever he wants and there is equality in the time I can spend with him. So cheat me out of time with my son and I will spend that time fighting back, until I win.
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2 comments:
You go John.
It's easy for other people to tell you to suck it up and stop complaining because it didn't happen to them! you gotta wonder how they would feel if someone took away the most important thing in thier lives,in the case of your lawyers that would probably be money (I could say thier souls but apparantly they have already sold them).
Your ex is a nutcase and shouldn't even be allowed to have your son (sorry I'm opinionated and say it like I see it) to deny him access to you and your family is just twisted and she's gonna pay for that someday! either by her son or in what comes to her in her life, hopefully both.
Stay stong and yes be happy with what you get but never stop fighting for more! I wouldn't and neither would any other decent parent I know.
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