Nothing to discuss...

Among all the court ordered restrictions on my son's access to me are a few protections. One is that my son is entitled to contact me by phone daily. So when I didn't hear from him I started calling. My ex answered her cell, she's out, and dumped him on a baby sitter. She called the baby sitter who called me. The baby sitter has limited minutes and didn't want my son to use them. So I called him on a landline. And I have another "dumpee" in my caller ID.

So we were able to talk. I talked to him about the carnival that was in town that he went to yesterday. He had a lot of fun. I asked, did you go today. "No", he said sadly, "Mommy said I went yesterday". Well that's just like her, being a cheapskate and all, I thought to myself. So I said, "Maybe Mommy would let me take you." "No", he said, sounding even worse. "Did you ask?", I said in surprise. "Yes, she said you couldn't take me either."

So she decided for me, didn't need to discuss it. I'm only an NCP, I used to be his Father, until the court decided, as they almost always do to take that away.

Well, I could understand and even support that as a good parenting decision under normal circumstances. But if things were normal, this Blog wouldn't even exist. My son hasn't had a summer vacation for three years. This summer has been spent at a day camp, and while he has "age appropriate" fun (another post coming), it is no substitute for fun with parents. So to go to the carnival for an extra day is a pretty poor substitute for what he should get. It's the very least his parents can do given that this divorce cheated him from a vacation and so much more.

So why didn't she discuss this with me? What gives her the right to make this unilateral decision? The courts did, a winner and a loser. She is under no obligation to discuss these things with a mere NCP by order of the court.

So while my ex is out on a Saturday night looking to going "off to the next one", my son and his NCP are the losers. Doesn't seem fair, not even a discussion, because it isn't fair.

PS: If you haven't already heard the song lyrics about going "off to the next one" from last month, click here. The audio link has been fixed !