How is it that people get so busy they can't understand how fragile life is? And then worse yet, spend time with bullshit like the adversarial divorce system and trying to make someone else miserable and they can't see how utterly stupid that is in the grand scheme of things?
I was trudging through my post decree work list, third foreclosure avoided (hooray), a big lawsuit against me is looming this week (boo). And I get a call, at first I thought it was a friendly, how's it going call...
And then the news, another cousin died. That would be a younger cousin, I only have two cousin's that are older than me.
He sat on his front porch and just dropped dead, at only 42. It's only been a few years since his Father (my Uncle) died. It's bad enough to see your Aunt's & Uncle's die, but cousins (!) before 50 (!!) , it just doesn't seem right. That's the age I was when my son was born.
So I call to make arrangements to switch visitation days so I can say goodbye to my cousin. No answer, just 1 minute later, my phone rings, it isn't the distinctive ring tone of my ex, caller ID says its my brother-in-laws cell phone (lots of entries for where my son is in my caller ID). The voice is my son's, we talk for a while and then I ask to talk to his mother, she's not there.
Hey Bitch, yeah you, my ex, I'm tired of this game of dump my son on anyone handy except his Father. Your reward for fuckin me after the divorce awaits you. And I can only hope its all the pain you've caused me plus interest.
But that's what makes this world go round, shitty people, playin shitty games to fuck over good people, until our time is up. (jqism)
Goodbye cousin, I'll see you tomorrow...
11 comments:
That is so sad.
The fact that your cousin died so young, plus the fact that you don't have access to your son.
That has gotta hurt.
It is tragic events like this, that bring home the stupidity of petty gamesmanship.
With this perspective, what sense did it make to spend two years in court and keep my son from seeing me for three summers in a row? He never got a summer vacation during this time. And only got to see his father for partial days, no weekends.
Three summers out of the seven he's been on Earth. Will my bitch make it four? Only time will tell.
This is why fathers give up. Because they can't take the rigged game that guarantees them another nail in their own coffin.
I am sorry John.
Not even a sleep over allowed.
I am just at a loss for words.
Yeah, no full days, no overnights. The twisted logic is maybe I won't sleep properly while he's sleeping, SO WHAT! WHY DOES THAT MATTER?
No one in the court system can tell me why that matters.
Somewhere else I talked of a plan that my ease that up.
But what a terrible waste of time and energy to get something I and my son should already have, a normal relationship.
WHY? The courts see black and white, winner and looser, custodial and non-custodial, residential and visiting.
But from the child's point of view, you don't need multiple words, one will do - dysfunctional !
Homes may be damaged, but the courts break them and destroy families, lives and relationships.
AND WE ALLOW THEM. BECAUSE WE'RE TOO BUSY.
Thanks for your support LW.
So sorry about the loss of your cousin, my heart goes out to you! I keep a little prayer going that things will change and you'll get your son back and get to be a full time daddy!!
Did your cousin live near you John?
Thanks swann, glad to see you getting moved in...
LW, he lives several counties east, probably a 90 minute drive. His funeral service is being brought back much closer, where most of the rest of our family lives.
You've probably heard the sad joke of family getting together for weddings and funerals, well I haven't seen any weddings for a while, but definitely funerals and that just isn't a great place to meet family. I'm speaking of extended family, cousins, Aunts & Uncles, my immediate family I see more often.
I know what you mean about families getting together at funerals.
They will drive halfway across the U.S.A. when someone dies, but never made the trip when the deceased is still living. Sad but true.
I am sorry JQ, I think the courts are indifferent to what a child emotionally needs, very very sad
My condolences on the loss of your cousin. I have no siblings so my cousins are the closest things I have to siblings. The thought of any of them passing is too painful to even consider.
Blessings to you
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