Not too much surprises me anymore. I was counseled to not set my expectations too high, I responded, I have reduced my expectations to lows I never knew existed and they are still too high.
Last Phase 2 Trial date, as I was promised twice? Pretty sure the next (sixth) date scheduled is still Phase 2. The multi-felony trial I sat on jury for in Dec only took 4 days. I did some quick addition – 1st lawyer to find my son - $5K. Second lawyer at least $10K, Third lawyer, so far $25K. Guardian $10K. Custody evaluation $5K. Court Costs $2K.
Getting close to $50K and the end is…………............................................…… no where in sight.
Sorry son, mommy spent your college money to get revenge on daddy. Can't say it, because it's the sad truth and he's too young for that.
The senior partner showed up, asked if we were going to settle today. My lawyer was silent, I prodded him, shouldn’t your answer be yes? Still silent (embarrassment, I imagine, the mark of someone who is up against more than then can handle). I spoke up, "I’ve been ready, trying desperately to have this settled for months. But no one can pin down opposition counsel. She makes and breaks deals more than once a week. Do you think you can get a court recorder to document her commitments so we can move forward?" He smirked and commented, "For her, that is probably what it would take. Let me see what I can add." He went in to talk to opposition counsel without his partner. He must be wondering, why can’t junior (partner, my lawyer) close this deal. He came out and was positive, I think we’ll be good.
Oh, OK, for now, but junior goes in. He comes out 2 hours later, not looking to good. Need to talk to the judge. Two more hours.
My lawyer did an exceptionally poor job today, scheduled a meeting for next Wed to conflict with my visitation. So crappy, he was at a loss for words and only told me half the bad news. Big list of things for me to do.
Very poor sleep last night, crappy day, all day, in court. Now for my son… I’m worn out, he’s feeling left out. Poor combination.
I guess, I’ll wait a little to see how the senior partner reacts to junior’s backward progress. If he doesn’t figure it out for himself, and I think he has, then I’ll just be blunt. Our adversary is too strong for my lawyer, any suggestions? How about you bail out junior so this ends before 2 years and I have funds to pay my balance?
Because of the work my lawyer expects me to do, I may not see my son for 11 days, and he’ll have these last two bad days to remember – BIC of course. I think I’ll ask the senior partner if he’d think that is the family friendly image his firm is trying to project.
If my lawyer gets his ass kicked all day tomorrow, it will be a good start.
Note: Can not ensure verbatim quotes as they were not recorded.
* BIC = Best Interest of the Child, the often quoted but never exercised goal of Domestic Relations Court.
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4 comments:
Wow. There aren't words in the English language to describe how much that sucks. I really hope the Senior partner steps in and takes over your case for a quick (okay maybe it is too late for quick, but you get the idea) resolution. Best of luck
I'm sorry you have to go through all this frustration. I'm embarrassed for my gender right now.
I wish I had words to say, but no words are will make this any better. My heart achs for you.
Keep your faith strong, it has to come through.
I remember the last time I was in family court my lawyer felt so bad for me and the 5 years of monthly court dates, that he didn't have the heart to charge me, even the court cost was free. I remember thinking then there was no end, but it did come to an end, and it will for you too.
Hope you have a great weekend.
This Trial Date was so screwed up I haven’t been able to post the details or call the senior partner yet for fear I’d explode. I may try posting the details as a practice run on you guys before I talk to the senior partner.
But I have decided, he must be significantly involved. My lawyer is in over his head. And I can’t worry about his feelings when talking to his boss.
Thanks to all, for the encouragement, it helps. I know there aren’t any words that will easily fix this, but just that you did say something gets an A for effort in my book.
There are many things that are gender biased. But the more people I’ve talked to, the more I see gender neutral disasters. This system has casualties all across the spectrum of circumstances (gender, child/no child, rich/poor). It gets down to the Title of my Blog – the system is the disaster.
So, Stacey, don’t sweat it, I don’t hold this against women, I hold it against the people, lawmakers, lawyers, judges, other ancillary people who are propping this broken system up.
Oddly enough, this experience is like getting punched in the gut after complaining of a hangnail (my wife). I can’t remember the hangnail any more while I’m doubled up in pain. Gosh I should probably thank them for my relationship recovery, right? No, I think not. (Humor still intact).
Leigh, this truly stresses one’s faith, but I am definitely trying to reconnect. My gosh 5 years, that is horrible. Waived fees? Not around here!
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