Another one bites the dust....

It been one week since my lawyers CYA email and my response, I got the pussy's response by mail.

Motion to Withdraw as Counsel of Record

This motion is made "for cause" of "no longer able to work together" and he is obligated to withdraw "pursuant to the Code of Professional Responsibility".

Well good riddance pussy, not gonna miss ya, just one question, when you ignored my explicit directions where was your fuckin code then huh??? And does the Code include taking responsibility for your fuckups rather than your obligation to walk away from them?

You ignored your fuckin code, when you exceeded your authority, when you refused to follow directives, when you trusted opposition's word and failed to obtain agreements in writing. Now we can't work together so you invoke the most honorable fuckin Code. Well la de fuckin da. Thank God for your Code of Unprofessional Irresponsibility or whatever you like to call it.

This will be amusing. If the Honorable Judge accepts the Motion, I will be Pro Se, something he refused to allow in the past and something that opposition counsel will object to vehemently. In the past the judge refused to release counsel until I had new counsel appear. But I will submit evidence of malpractice and financial hardship. I will petition for reassignment to the Administrative (most senior) Judge for a hearing on the matter.

Now interestingly enough there was an attempt to serve me by certified mail today... This game I know. As my wife did, as my current lawyer advised me, you simply don't accept certified mail and the process service fails, not forever, but it delays formal notification. And without notification, the court can not proceed.

And that will frustrate the other playas, tough shit, welcome to my world.

Welcome to my newest reader

Well site statistics can be a mixed blessing, sometimes they are amusing, sometimes predictable, and rarely alarming...

How interesting that my latest reader is from the US Federal Court system. Welcome to my Blog. Or maybe you are already a reader, who just happened to be killing time between court sessions and you used their PC to access my site.

You no doubt have figured that I am a frustrated participant in the system as so many are. But I have made some careful observations along the way and they aren't just disappointing, they are damn near criminal.

So if you are interested in details, drop me a line, here in the comments, or look at my profile to find my email address. That actually goes for all my readers...

I'm OK

PLACEHOLDER - Rough draft status update

The custody evaluation went as well as to be expected. To say OK doesn't make sense, because the mere fact that some stranger is 2nd guessing your decisions and your custody just isn't OK.

I received two large legal notices today, fuckem, I'll read them later.

The pussy is disregarding my response and is leaving me at risk of contempt. I may get a chance for a bench warrant and the involuntary opportunity to tell the asshole judge what I think of him. That may be my new nickname for the judge, the asshole that produces asswipe. I kinda like that... Casual readers may miss that so maybe I'll refer to him as asshole (judge).

The due process lie

One of our most important freedoms is due process under the law, the right to face our accuser, the right to a trial, etc.

But in family court and many other courts, there is a way to short circuit the justice system that frees you of your rights (catch the pun). It is called pre-trial settlement.

Family courts routinely take away parental rights from the "looser" of the divorce, typically the Father, but sometimes the Mother.

Here's briefly how it works... Family Court

• denies your constitutional right to represent yourself
• denies you the right to know the accusations or face your accuser
• denies you the right to trial
• accepts lawyer's statements as evidence in violation of "rules of evidence"
• has no sworn statements
• has no court reporters, no record of hearings
• practices intimidation to avoid trials, again with no court reporters or record of the conversation
• chooses the looser (NCP) with an all powerful judge with no room for due process nor practical challenge
• allows the all powerful judge to have wide latitude on how he chooses to mistreat his chosen looser (NCP)
  

The result is someone

• who never committed a crime,
• who never had due process,
• who never had a trial,
• but is stripped of their parental rights none the less
• by arbitrary decision of one overly powerful person
• who is elected by accident of careless, clueless voters
  

This happens every day in this land of the free, wrecking havoc on the NCP and on a whole generation of children who are denied access to their NCP.

And that my friend just isn't free, it is how "justice" is administered in many other parts of the world that we criticize. Oh yeah we have a justice system capable of being better, especially for those that can afford it, but it just isn't typical in family court. And it is this typical reality that counts, not any theoretical possibilities.

Fun, But only one hour please

WARNING - HIGHLY OFFENSIVE MATERIAL

I usually write in drafts, but I thought I'd give you a treat and let you see the creative process. Why sugar coat a turd, just not to offend the patriotic ass kissers who think this is a good country we live in, fuck it, here it is a raw core dump from my tormented mind straight to the web, no editing.

I was a very bad Dad yesterday, I exceeded my court allotted fun time with my son. I was irresponsible and set a very poor example for him. And coincidently I will be answering to the court again later today. I am such a fuckup...

Regular readers know I am limited to after school visitation only, 4 hours max, on some days. During this time I need to settle him down, feed him, help him get his home work done, and IF, only (fuckin) IF, there is some time left over after my parental responsibilities, then fun is optional, but limited to only one fuckin hour please, by order of the honorable court of the county of [xxx] in the State of [xxx], you may kiss the honorable judges sacred ass now.

And people complain about organized religion with a pope who would have you kiss his ring as a sign of respect, he would never demand you kiss his ass, but we, the puppet people "citizens" of this "greatest country on Earth" deluded by patriotic propaganda continue to allow our government to abuse us. I am frankly fed up with this fucked up government and most of its droned thoughtless citizens. Just seeing if you are paying attention. Present company excluded of course.

What do you worship that you are so fuckin proud of? Job? Money? Possessions? Past greatness of our country? I'm breakin the golden rule, don't talk religion or politics. You know who made that rule, the greedy mother fuckers running our country. If we talk, if we look at the train wreck of today's society we might stand up and take the country back from them.

Have courage, stand up, don't look away, drink in the ugliness, then ACT to change it. Don't walk away shaking your head. Try this, next time you vote for a judge, find out how big an asshole they are before you say yes, find out how corrupt, how lazy, how cruel. Oh you don't vote, you are part of the problem then.

Well my son gets off the bus and decides he wants to go for a little walk before we go home. Against my ex's specific orders of no fun, and God knows I report to the Bitch as part of my court punishment (for marrying the crazy bitch as my lawyers advise me at high bill rates), Tell her to Fuck Off? No not if I ever want to see my son again. I have been stripped of Fatherhood and relegated to NCP. Submit to the Bitch or leave my son, that's my choice. And so many times I've wished I could summon the courage and be strong enough to do what all the rest of America's Fathers are doing by the wishes of the Fucked Up American "[sic non-]Justice" System and leave my son to be single-parented.

Are you so fucked in the head that you think Father's run away from their off-spring? No, no, no they are chased away by fucked up "Justice". I know, they've beat me for over 2 years and my maschoism keeps me coming back for more. Beat me, beat the fuck out of me, I'll be back for more. Love for my son overcomes a lot.

So I should have said NO, we can't have fun first. Well you do have the whole day off tomorrow, but you have to do homework today on Daddy's time, fun is only on Mommy's time by order of the honorable court. So practically you can only have fun with your NCP in one hour increments.

So I am irresponsible and I walk with him. Go ahead tell me how bad I am, I don't get enough shit from the Bitches (my wife, her lawyer, my lawyer, my son's guardian) in my life. Should we see the new flood control project, I ask my son. His eyes light up, clearly something "age inappropriate" as the court would say. So we walk to a small gravel access road and follow it into a wooded area and come into an cleared open field with a very large basin carved into the land about 20 feet deep, 600 feet long by 400 feet wide. A stream is winding through the middle of this basin. At regular intervals the creek is partially dammed to slow it down. If the water raises about 5 feet it will rise and head for the pipe that runs through a new subdivision (the cause of the flooding). But it has to fill this basin completely by 5 feet first as water seeks its own level. That's a lot of cubic feet to fill. And it will need to rise about 20 feet until it over flows the basin and comes racing down the subdivsion boundary toward my property.

Before this flood control project, it would raise only 3 feet before overflowing its banks and flowing toward my house in a 20 feet wide by 1 foot deep torrent. That's why I have 2 three feet deep gravel filled pits running the length of my property line and directly behind my foundation. When the water would rise I'd have to sand bag the back of my house and wade through the water to clear a cistern connection I have directly to the city storm sewers. It's lucky I made that property improvement because this flood control was caught up in -- our efficient court system for 15 years. Many of my neighbors have had basement floods of several feet deep.

We followed the creek to a very interesting railroad underpass, running across it we found a petroleum line (we have some small gas/oil exploration) and another pipeline refitted for fiber optic telecom cable. So this is an area of abandoned railroad tracks we have yet to explore. So we walk the tracks, looking for a variety of things. Landmarks to tell us where we are relative to major roads. I point out how to identify poison sumac frequently found near railroads in our area. Thistles and monkey ball thorns grow frequently, we dodge them, I don't dodge so well, I'm a bigger target, he laughs, Daddy, you've got badges (monkey balls sticking to clothes). Of course we stop by a buckeye tree, they are almost ready, but still in their thorny shells. The green ones aren't developed yet, the trick is to find the brown ones that have crack lines, they have nicly formed buckeyes inside. We look for various things, spikes, bolts, even heavy iron tie mounts. We find a beach ball next to the tracks and a golf ball too. We walk across a narrow bridge and find someone's ATV track. while walking there my son walked up on a deer that went scampering quickly through the woods. As we walked some more we could see the railroad crossing and knew we would be reaching a major road over a mile from home. So we piled up our treasures and drove a spike in to a tie to mark the spot to find it. We found the control box near the track that turned on the warning lights. We looked at how it worked.

After getting off the tracks we could walk quicker now and got home in 2.5 hours. We were pooped. Relaxed for a half hour, Ate, did a little homework. Dad can we get the stuff with the car, we'll be quick. Well it'll be there, I assure him. "Plleeeeaaaassseee???? We'll be quick..." I knew I shouldn't... But I did. It took another half hour, drive up there, park close by the crossing. Walk back find the marker, get it. The tie plates were the toughest, over 40 pounds, he carried the odds & ends, spikes, tie straps, nuts. Now we can make some industrial art. For the last 100 yards I set down the plates and helped him. Then he carried half the plates for that last distance, one strong kid he's getting to be.

But it's not a priority, it's not "age appropriate", it's not what his mother would do, it's what fathers would do. But who the fuck do I think I am, by order of the court I was reduced to NCP, I'm not his father anymore, the court decided that. Well biologically I am, but it is an irrelevant technicality, so is any sperm donor, that is far different from having paternal parental rights. Now that would almost be a funny oxymoron if it wasn't so fucking sad - male and parental rights. Give me a fuckin break, rare occurrence indeed.

Why didn't I do the priority things first and save the fun for his day off, cuz I don't get him on his days off - NEVER EVER. I just don't, by order of the honorable court. I'm only a fuckin NCP, I'm not his father anymore, weren't ya listening. And if I hadn't fought as hard as I did, I wouldn't see him EVER, NOT EVEN 4 HOURS, that was her wish, her goal, it STILL IS, and it could still happen, cause the Bitch hasn't given up. That's why I have to defend my custody again this afternoon.

But it sounds like we had a great time. Yeah we did, until the bitch showed up. BUT, we'll have to answer to a custody evaluator today.

Because you see, livin life as an NCP you are never ever free. (jqism)

See there are so many people in this supposedly free country that will never know freedom, who never committed a crime, who never had due process, who never had a trial, but were stripped of their rights none the less. And that my friend just isn't free, so you see you are all eating a bullshit sandwich if you are STUPID enough to think you have rights and you are free. You are living a cozy lie, an illusion, a vision of what once was, but is no more. You are living under the radar, your freedoms can be taken at any moment. It happens every day in this once great country.

Really we got one president busy getting blow jobs and another who probably couldn't pass a GED. You think that's great, are you proud of that leadership, are they are best this land has to offer, you are FUCKING JOKING and I'm not laughing. Turn off reality TV and tune into the real decline. And you wonder why terrorists blow people up.

This USED TO BE the GREATEST country in the world, but we stopped doing, we stopped participating in our government, we sat on our hands and rested on our prior accomplishments. WE ARE FUCKIN HAS BEEN's reminiscing about the good old days. We have ceded our constitutional rights to a bunch of opportunistic assholes who are running this country into the ground while we are absent from our responsibility to control them.

Honorable court, what's so fuckin honorable about what you do, JUDGE R. You are a cheating, lying, threatening, SON OF BITCH, that disgraces the office you hold because assholes who don't even know a damn thing about you still vote for your famous fucked up last name, KISS MY ASS YOU FUCKIN INCOMPETENT, I spit on you and your fucked up concept of honor.

What a treat, eh ??? Welcome to my nightmarish life of contradiction. Just as in the matrix, I have taken the pill, and I see the ugly reality, and it sucks shit big time. You can be happy in dreamland, or you can wake up, and take this country back.

Don't like what I said, don't bitch to me about it, get off your ass, get informed, and help fix our fucked up government. The truth hurts. Tough shit. I'll speak it anyway.

Didn't know the games your government played. OK, sorry I was so harsh, then don't take what I said personally, I'll give you a pass, this time. But now you know. And if you are unsure, you know someone who cares enough to answer your questions. Keep reading, I have so much more shit in draft...

Mood: Pissed, JFSM please please please !!!
Note if there are any terms you don't recognize see general terms here or legal terms here.

Please wish me luck at 3pm EST Thursday... for my custody evaluation.

CYA from the pussy...

My pussy lawyer sent a CYA today. He was out last month spending his windfall profit from my case and didn't have time to followup on the enforcement of the final decree orders. So now after the hired bitch caused at least a 5 month delay she's ready to call me in for contempt yet again...

So here's my lawyers CYA to me

[Pussy] wrote:

JQ,

As I have previously advised, prior to our execution of the QDRO, you need to give me your consent. The attached is a document and correspondence which will be filed by your ex wife's attorneys today with the court. Be advised, you are subjecting yourself to a sanction for attorney fees if the court determines that your consent to this QDRO was inappropriately withheld.

Please advise,

[Pussy]

And my response is:

Frankly I am surprised you are going through the charade of pretending you need my input in light of your past behavior. I find this CYA letter disingenuous and somewhat dishonest in view that you have acted without my permission or in opposition of my explicit instructions on areas you committed to resulting in severe damages to myself. Your actions in direct opposition of stated instructions already subject me to any arbitrary fees the opposition wishes to pass my way since you (and my previous counsel) could not follow the elementary school principle of getting it in writing. Instead, much to my peril, and your dereliction of duty, you have allowed the "fucking cunt" as you yourself call the opposition counsel to run roughshod over your own client. You prefer to hold me responsible for a delay caused by absences from your office. I have received this document on Aug 27 and in view of opposition's delay of 5 months I feel it reasonable that I have 5 weeks to obtain a competent advocate who has some rudimentary financial ability to review and advise me on this matter prior to acceptance as was extended to the opposition.

I could also accept this document now contingent on an independent evaluation that will supersede and with expenses being charged to opposition should any irregularity or deliberate attempt to put me at disadvantage is found. If you are so confident in your dismal math and financial abilities and the opposition's sincerity and trustworthiness than this contingency should not need to be exercised.

Please advise.

JQ

These notes were both copied to the senior partner... Damn why hasn't my phone rung yet, they must be at lunch. LOL.

Update: The pussy responded a week later by withdrawing as my lawyer, click here.

Status: First Draft, last updated - 09/11/07 11:55 am

Dutch or Date

Last week my son went to the eye doctor and we found out that he, like his parents, is very near sighted. When he was younger his vision was great, but lately he has had complaints and sure enough he needs glasses and will need to wear them all the time. So I went to the doctor with him and his mother, then to an optometrist to pick out frames.

Since it was so late and we were at a place where she likes to take him in a food court (Chinese) we ate together. I picked different food, so I met them at the table. She bought an adult serving and split it with him. He's not a small boy anymore, I've seen him eat adult servings himself. And my ex is no small woman either, lol, well she used to be. That could explain why he's always starving when he's at my place.

So the next week, I meet my son and his mother at the optometrist, every thing was quicker this time. So he was thrilled with his improved vision, looking at everything and happy not to be squinting. I assumed they'd eat there again.

As she headed for the door, I asked, aren't you going to eat here? She asked, "Are you treating?" "Damn, lady we're divorced, why the hell would I treat you to anything but a good swift kick in the ass I'm only suffering your presence to be with my son, jeez, don't flatter yourself bitch. What do ya think, this is a date? No, no, no After divorce its dutch!" I thought...

So after thinking (not saying) that I actually say, "Well I'll treat him". So she turns her back to me, grabs his hand and walks away. I'm standing there like a jackass, dumbfounded. I took a few steps in her direction, then thought WTF am I supposed to do now? Offer to buy her dinner, ask her out? I actually thought about it, not because of her, I'd be happy to never see her again, but just to see my son and talk to him about his new glasses that he was excited about.

Well as I hesitated there thinking, I figure the further away she gets (and they were walking fast), the dumber this is going to look. So I walked away thinkin more fuckin games, 2nd time this week.

So since I was just a few miles from my parents house, I invited them to a nearby restaurant (not the food court). Then I went back to their house for a visit.

I'm Back....

My entire career has been in computer support. I was lucky enough to be in a school system that had a computer program in the 11th grade back in 1973. Back then that was unusual and it also necessitated having a big room and waiting quite a while to run programs. I went from there to college to get a Bachelors degree in Computer Science and nearly got a second degree in Mathematics (my favorite subject before computers).

Back then it was a science, not a ubiquitous tool. Today when you say you are in computers its almost like saying you are in autos. Do you drive one, change the oil/tires, or actually rip the engine apart and put it back together. I am trained in Enterprise Class Systems Programming, I'm the one who puts the engine back together after the parts have been scattered all over the floor.

But computers change, and so did I. I still love the Mainframe Monsters, the Enterprise Class Infrastructure. It is the most challenging, the most impressive. More on that when I launch my Mainframe Adventures Blog. But you gotta keep up with stuff. So I have stayed current with the Mainframe Monsters, but now there are more platforms to deal with too. So I need at least a conceptional understanding of the other platforms and the network topologies that connect them. So its been a non-stop education, which I've enjoyed.

Imagine my surprise to learn when my son entered Kindergarten four years ago that our school had an aggressive K-12 computer technology curriculum. And when they said they needed volunteers to help with the class I signed right up. And they enjoyed my assistance and I enjoyed seeing a new generation learning today's computer technology.

So that went fine for two years, then last year, things went awry, my wife got to the teacher first, this teacher did not relate to me as the other's did. I had a good relationship with his two previous teachers, his gym teacher, the counselor, the principal, but I could feel the tension with this teacher. She chose other volunteers and never used me for the whole year in any computer class or any other volunteer opportunity she had control over. I mentioned this as the Collateral Damage of Divorce in a post 4 months ago.

So this year I made sure things were different. I got to the teacher first, and better yet, it was while my son was visiting. No tension, first impression went well, an involved Father brings his Son to meet the teacher. Then I arrive at curriculum night early, find the sign up sheets and sign up as computer volunteer first. The counselor asked, gonna sign up as a computer volunteer this year. I said sure thing, Guess he didn't know I did last year too. At the end of the night I was the only name on the list.

So the next day I go in and whee was it fun to be back helping with the computer class again. The class with my son and his classmates. I fixed a couple problems they had, they were thrilled they didn't have to call the school board and fill out a work order. Made a great impression on the teacher who now could see what I was capable of, that I am much more than just a computer user. The kids even did a "class cheer" to thank me.

So it's great to be back. Everything looks perfect, well almost... See at the end of the sign up, the writers workshop list was full and my ex hadn't signed up for anything. So what did she do... Sign up to be a computer volunteer. Well she does use a computer (doesn't everyone), but my son can help her with it, his skills passed hers last year. So I asked her, well can you do Excel charts? Well no, so I can learn with them. Yeah the kids can help her. Its just the principal of the thing, she may volunteer with me, we'll see. It doesn't bother me much, it's just the principal, the meddling, the not leaving me alone. ** Big Sigh. **

Well if the fruit cake shows up I can ignore her (she didn't the first day). There's no way I'm letting her scare me away from what I like to do. I'm just glad to participate.

But unlike marriage, divorce and its harassing games are forever. I've been told I need to accept that as a new fact of life.

Take time to...

...listen to the lake.

Well there were no roses to smell, and growing up on the North Coast with a Great Lake in our backyard (literally as a child) its a reasonable substitute....

After leaving court, instead of taking my usual 80 mph 20 minute sterile freeway commute home, I took the scenic route and added 3 hours to my ride home via a slow drive along the lake front, stopping to get out and walk right up to the water front.

I stopped to look out over the lake, to see the breakwalls, the harbor lights, small light houses, sail boats. Lean against the iron pilings and watch the water slapping against them. Listening to the water, the seagulls, the occasional jet ski and Lear jet taking off from our downtown executive airport. I walked through several grassy parks near the lakefront hearing Canadian Geese honking and flying in for a landing or waddling through the grass, keeping it trimmed. I watched little groups of ducks swimming in the rivers leading to the lake or in harbors.

At one location I looked out over the breakwall and walked over the top of the 3ft x 5ft rocks. As I walked I had to adjust my gate so as not to fall into the 3 ft crevices. I walked all the way out to the warning lights at the end of the breakwall where the sounds of shore faded away to be over taken by seagulls wondering why I had invaded their calm space.

I was just there to share it with them, to recharge, to relax, to take time out of the daily urgency to do something important.

Inspired by Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits of Successful People discussing the difference between Urgency and Importance.

And a decade coming up too

While I'm talking about anniversaries I might as well mention that one decade ago the career I loved at the University was rapidly approaching its end in a tumultuous time they called a "transformation" that devastated staff in the University, nearly caused rioting by the students, and kept our local newspaper filled with front page stories until it finally culminated in the President leaving in criticism and disgrace.

Ten years ago as the writing was on the wall that middle managment in the Univeristy IT department was passe and unneeded, as we were all fed the tainted "Who moved my Cheese" propaganda, someone came to me with an offer to good to be true. Join him, build a company, partner with Big Blue. Escape the death throws politics of a University who may not survive the chemo they had taken. Start in a company a new.

Who could resist such an intoxicating proposition? Oh and it comes with a signing bonus, and a big fat salary and quite an impressive title with responsibilities to match. And I said Yes, and it was good, and the devastation to University IT middle management did come to pass.

But then four years later came the tech burst. My little dot com went to a dot bomb as I would say with a nervous snicker. It was great while it lasted. And that my friends did not help the marriage. My ex, growing into her own midlife crisis, did not need the extra weight of a non-Camelot partnership. Although we weathered the storms very successfully and most would suggest you grow stronger, her commitment grew weaker. She only heard the priest say "for better...".

After a period of difficulty overcoming my overqualified label as a senior person in a small startup company, I started the shit shift and nearly got my self killed with undiagnosed sleep apnea. This required me to live 50 miles from home for 2 months because I could not drive. For some this absence would make the heart grow fonder, instead it made the idea of living with my stuff but without me seem like the best of both worlds. My ex claimed that is when she made her irrevocable decision, but thought she'd wait until I was fully treated and back home to announce it to me, to "let me down easy".

Well I traded shit 3rd shift for long solo shit weekend shifts on first, for my own health's sake. Then after the mediation I suggested did not meet with my wife's expectations (too balanced), she started this oddesy in 2005. Depleted my life savings, left me alone in an empty house with a nice bedroom my child never sleeps in, dragged my ass to court for 45 appearances only to get my employer to toss their top excellence performance awarded person (me) for "absenteeism".

I do have several more years of litigation to go... but it should be on a reasonable schedule.

Wow, Sept 1997 to Sept 2007, from rescue to collapse, is there a Phoenix ready to rise from the ashes in Oct 2007? I hope so, I really don't need to explore this cavern any deeper. It's dark and dank down here and I long for the sunlight, to breathe deeply and soar to new heights. Would you cheer me on and come along for the ride...

One year already...

I was so worked up on my court bullshit that my one year here has come and gone...

I may say more when I get a chance, but let me say some things off the top of my tired head before too much more time slips away.

A very sincere thanks for all the support, a few who have stuck by the entire time, some who have come and gone under different names or Blogs. Many to our northern neighbors in Canada. Some from half way around the world who provided interesting conversation when I should have been sleeping but couldn't. And some who are no longer around.

I can't claim the highest stats, like one of my good friend's mega posts over 100 comments. But I can claim some seriously good quality comments among the 1000+ comments to my 260+ posts which doesn't include the 2000+ emails, most of which came from just a few close friends. Then there are the IRL and silent readers. They comment directly to me. I hadn't realized how many other blogs were feeding traffic, that didn't just look and leave, but kept on looking. Occasionally I will get a note from them too. Thanks to those blogs for directing traffic my way. It's nice to know that in the midst of seeking and receiving help, that I can simultaneously give it too.

Some have chosen anniversaries as an occasion to leave. Some have asked my intentions. No plans for that... I have had periods of sporadic posting, but I have a ton of material to disseminate yet.

I have launched a JQ's Life Blog. Keep an eye on my sidebar that's where new things will show up. I have a photo site. I have redesigned my companion pages with hints of things to come, do let me know if they look OK on your system. I have two technology blogs that will launch sometime when I get around to it.

I have some serious challenges to overcome before the end of the year. If things finally turn out the way they should, next year could be very encouraging...

That's the catcher

The pitcher is the other way
You'll never hit the ball with your back to the pitcher...

People who know me IRL, know that I am not a sports nut at all, I know the rules, I watch games occasionally, but the only stats I can rattle off from memory under any conditions have to do with large systems computing. But I thought I'd take a stab at some sports metaphors just to be a little more mainstream. Tell me how you like it in the comments.

Regular readers will not find it surprising that I have more stories to tell about how lawyers just can't follow instructions. In grade school you learn to follow instructions. In business you follow instructions or you are shown the door. But in the legal field, steeped in ancient traditions dating back to when most of the population was illiterate and didn't know any better, these pompous assholes feel they have some God given right to do what ever the hell they please on your dime and you should be OK with it. By the way a lawyers dime is worth about $300/hour, so I'm betting most of you would stoop over to pick that one up with both hands full of groceries.

First what's the goal

The very first thing you want to do in any team project is agree on the goal. Here's their goal, this is mine, let's not try to run the wrong way. When swinging at The ball it helps to face the pitcher not the catcher. Sound ridiculous? Sure - because it is.

This is the client's life, the client's money, how can these lawyers just do whatever the hell they want with reckless abandon?

But they do... One reason is a severe conflict of interest... more on that is a future post.

Do we really agree

OK, once you get the asshole oriented in the right direction you need to keep him there. Like a little kid in a candy store with a sugar high, these jerks are going in every direction. Lawyer's are known for lying and skillfully manipulating words on the edge of truth, but as the paying client you have a right to expect more.

When a lawyer reaches an agreement with his client on a course of action, the client should expect that is what will happen unless the lawyer gets back to him about some problem implementing that course of action. It's fine for the lawyer to be reviewing the course, but he shouldn't spin the wheel without telling the client he changed course, especially when the results to the client will be changed.

But they do... because they think they know what is best and that you'll just have to live with it like all the stupid clients before you.

Practice Swings

I have lost track of all the various minor and major infractions over the last 2.5 years, there has been a bunch and sometime I'll go back and review them, but for today's post let me just start with three big ones that happened this year, three wild swings that hit me, the client, right up side the head.

Strike 1 - Release the money

The year started with a simple goal, my money has been held far too long, I'm going into foreclosure for the second time and I had enough assets to literally buy the house so for it to go into foreclosure is absolutely unacceptable.

After an argument, he agrees, he commits to bringing the issue up at a hearing with the judge and argue it to a decision. An argument, I'm paying the bills, I'm setting the priorities and I'm talking about loosing the house and you are worried about the opposing counsel's feelings, I think we have a serious gap here.

So as usual, I sit in the hall, while the learned one, goes into chambers to argue the intricacies of the law. After more than half a day he comes out, makes a motion with his hand, we're done. So how much money will be released? Oh I didn't bring that up! Why not.... Well that's another (dumb) story...

So I say, make good on this, get a hearing scheduled, no we'll wait, why? Well to schedule a hearing on this topic, he'll be asked why it didn't come up last time and then he'll have to admit that he went back on his agreement and put his client at financial risk. That would basically be admitting to malpractice, hell would freeze over first. So faced with the choice of admitting a mistake and correcting it or risking it will blow up, he chose the latter.

I'm screwed... So what happened, was it a reasonable risk? Hell no! I held things together between the creditors as best I could, but one wanted to play hard ball. I offered proof that a release was forthcoming, I offered proof that the funds were available and would have been under my control had it not been for the hired bitch. No, No, No, we'll see your ass in court. I said look, the lawyers are gonna take it all, you go to court and I'll have nothing left by time you get a date scheduled. Don't care, we'll find something, we'll take your house. Nice people, think of a big bank that begins with C and ends in E. So that's where I'll be on 9/5. My lawyer lost the bet and I'm the one in court.

Strike 2 - Discover the Fees

This is a giant problem, I can write several posts about not only how your own lawyer can screw you with unauthorized fees but how the opposition can screw you with made up fees. For the purposes of this strike, I, as the person with a better ability to pay (yep the guy, or for you more successful females, that's YOU), I will be obligated to pay the opposition fees for the privilege of the hired butch making my life miserable.

So what are we talking about, I nag and nag my lawyer to get the hired bitch's fee through formal discovery since she isn't cooperating and my wife claims she never gets an invoice (first sign of very serious trouble). So he gets something, claims to get a $30K reduction and all seems well.

OK let's see that in writing, didn't we all learn that in grade school? Delays, not a good sign, some tap dancing going on. I finally get it, first the creative book keeping was stellar, but then there are columns cut off, with the fee per specialty (senior, junior, paralegal) and the actual charge. So no total charge, no court transcript documenting the judges agreement, no AJE.

I'm screwed... Normally when the case is over you have to settle up, or in my case, they wouldn't allow the case to end until the funds were seized. But the hired bitch had an ace up her sleeve the QDRO that was going to release more of my funds to my wife that she could attach. So what did she do, she held up the QDRO with the intent to see how I would recover financially. If I do well she will aggressively sue on my ex's behalf for alimony while her invoice is still "fluid". This exposes me to an undue risk after the divorce should be final. And it's not for my ex or my son its for lawyers, as if I haven't contributed enough. If her invoice was finalized and settled (as bar ethics dictate) and my ex retained her to come back at me for alimony you can bet her fight would not be one tenth as aggressive as it would be when she stood to seize the alimony for back fees. Evil? Abuse? Absolutely!

Strike 3 - File a Motion

When the court order for release of funds (QDRO) was still incomplete 2 months after the final decree ordered it and 4 months after I had seen a nearly final draft, I started becoming at risk for the non-payment of debt that went to my ex along with this release of funds. I posted on the dual standard where my lawyer said I would be held in contempt if it was not done in a timely manner and then he sent a kiss ass letter to the hired bitch... So I nagged him and finally when the pressure from the creditor became extreme and a new lawsuit was looming, I called him and firmly said that a motion to show cause, request for sanctions and attorney's fees must be made to force the court ordered action of the hired bitch.

He agreed, but he never did it. Why? They only play hard ball with clients, not their cherished brethren lawyers.

I'm screwed... so after after six months I finally get the QDRO agreement releasing $60,000 for my review and approval. After 2 days, the hired bitch faxes a 24 hour ultimatum to my lawyer who sends it to me at the end of the next day. What did she do to me after 3 days, same thing I asked my lawyer to do to her after 5 months - file a motion to show cause, request for sanctions and attorney's fees.

Strike 3 - Your out mother fucker

I leave messages for my lawyers, what are you doing about this mess, no response, guess they are celebrating a long holiday weekend, which is fine if you are ready for Wednesday. This is just too much unenjoyable screwing.

You're gonna get screwed... I haven't fought this long and this hard to just roll over and give up. As Sir William Thatcher said, "It is not in my nature". And on the occasions I feel I can't go on, I have lot's of people (who I value) to remind me that. Remind me to seek calm, clarity, focus, renewal, breathe, and then go out and do battle. I did not choose this course, it was foist upon me and I will not stand staring at the bat that has appeared in my hand, I will summon all my strength and swing and when I connect it will be out of the park.

Plan B and C and D

I contacted a very strong trial attorney who handles divorce and criminal defense. I saw him in action when I was on jury duty last year. He is impressive in the County Superior Court, he argues to a jury, on life and death criminal charges, he can rip a witness apart on the stand, not the game of footsey practiced in the Kangeroo Kourt of Domestic Relations (no offense to my Aussie friends lol).

I have already reviewed my case with a legal firm specializing in financial disagreements.

And I will clean up this post and put it into a form of legal malpractice and name my lawyers and opposition counsel as co-defendants with contributory negligence.

Moral of the story

Lawyers must be managed and even then they are dangerous. (jqism)
Lawyers do not want to be managed and will resist vigorously (jqism)
Lawyers should never be invited into a marriage, three or four is a crowd. (jqism)

T-1 Day

One day before I am due in court over the strike 1 issue and my pussy lawyer has been mum, MIA. My college buddies (both genders) want to see me for lunch, don't see them much. What do I do? Spend more time on legal bullshit that has already stolen 2 years of my life or live my life?

Both! As best I could. I get ready to see my friends and while driving I called the pussy. He was in rare form, a bitch, obnoxious and full of self righteous indignation, he is ESQ and I am not. Well la de fuckin da, these assholes are displaced persons, they belong in the dark ages of serfs and royalty, back when people accepted the restrictions of their birthright, before they realized that in a free society a man can truly "change his stars" (another reference to that movie).

So what does pussy want to talk about first prior to my ass being in court tomorrow? He wants to talk about strike 3, he wants to satisfy the hired bitch before saving my ass from his fuckup in Strike 1. Can you believe it? I couldn't, so while driving I reached for my tape recorder and turned it on while I left him on speaker phone and had him repeat it. Then he danced on strike 3 and totally ignored strike 1. I said look, she screwed around with the QDRO and I have bigger fish to fry, she was the 5 month delay and you both are hassling me in 5 days, get back to me in 5 months if you want to complain, otherwise that is the end of the topic. Now about tomorrow!

He doesn't know, the senior partner is handling it. Well that's good because the pussy is just not cutting anything. And although I got my usual monthly invoice with his divorce hours, yeah three months after final decree with no hearings and no conversations. But there were no hours for the credit lawsuit even though he described actions of the senior partner. This has two major advantages, first the senior partner is senior for a reason and it shows, and second it appears as a tacit admission that the pussy screwed up and the firm feels responsible. The other alternative explanation that they are being a nice guy cause I was their biggest customer and they bankrupt me is so implossible that I'd believe little Martians are living in my backyard shed first.

The aftermath

Things went fairly good all things considered...

The court hearing was quick and went OK... In fact it went so quick that I missed it. Downtown traffic and parking are just too variable so I arrived to the 21st floor courtroom 15 minutes late, just in time to see the senior partner leaving. Guess who called, concerned, and slowed me down getting to court on time. A sweet, sincere sounding voice on the phone, to wish me luck. My ex! Can ya believe it. Jeckyl and Hyde in real life. I didn't marry a bitch, I'm no dummy. I just didn't probe the depths of her multiple personalities to see the stowaway. WIWL.

The next hearing is scheduled for Dec 5, pre trial is scheduled in March 2008. This is the superior county court, with an even higher case load, so a trial will probably not take place until 2009, maybe even 2010. This court handles all civil suits in the metro area and all felony criminal cases. Our municipal courts only handle small claims, traffic and misdemeanors. I talked to one of the two dozen sitting judges while on jury duty and the case volume makes the domestic relations court look trivial.

I'm no where near out of the woods, the major bank is threatening to foreclose (4th attempt) on my home even though they are an unsecured debt (not a mortgage holder), this will take more time in court as they will have to compete with the primary and secondary mortgage holders of record...

Meanwhile the creditors who worked with me and participated in the divorce settlement will be paid in full with no write offs by the end of the year. How? By competing with the other lawyers over the spoils of the financial divorce bloodbath. And who's idea was that, the greedy lawyers? Fuck No! Mine, because for 30 years of my adult life I have never stiffed anyone and just because these greedy bastards thought they should be first in line for everything doesn't mean I had to play their game.

The junior lawyer (and his predecessors) saw me as an impediment to their achieving their own agenda. The senior partner appreciates my idealism and has the confidence to not feel threatened by my challenges. In that way we are similar.

After leaving court, instead of taking my usual 80 mph 20 minute sterile freeway commute home, I took the scenic route and added 3 hours to my ride home via a slow drive along the lake front, stopping to get out and walk the water front. I didn't smell any roses, but I did "Take Time" to listen to the lake.

Status: Finalized on - 09/06/07 5:00 am
Note: comments contain significant new material

Musical inspiration by Sixx A.M. "Life is Beautiful" from "The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack"
"There is nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home ... When you've lost it all, that's when you finally realize that life is beautiful"

You call that a vacation...

As I mentioned, my son's last family vacation was summer 2004, that will be the last vacation he'll have with his father until possibly 2009, my current expectation of normal visitation. Five years out of a life of a 10 year old (in 2009) is more than the math suggests.

But this year, this past 4 days, my son was told he was on vacation. For the entire summer, my ex dumped him in day camp, deprived me of one hour per day in court ordered visitation (with no consequences to her) and now she plans a 4 day trip as his first "vacation" since 2004. Most people would probably just call it a long weekend. My ex was going to ignore the parenting plan as usual and me pointing out that she was ordered by the court to provide a daily itinerary, lodging, and cell contact made her quite angry, no doubt because of not being in control. Welcome to my world bitch. Look for sympathy on that issue elsewhere. To show her displeasure she raced her car in my driveway with our son in it and nearly ran me over as I was closing his door.

Originally because of a past history of credible, witnessed threats of kidnapping, multiple warnings regarding that and then finally her violation of a mediated agreement not to take my son from the county, I had asked for some court protection in this regard. My first request was that she put up a bond, much like a bail bond, where she would pledge collateral that would be taken by the bond underwriter (an insurance company) in the event that she kidnapped my son and costs were incurred to locate them. The lawyers acted as if this standard insurance product was a request to go to the moon. Their suggestion was that I simply let it happen again and spend another $5000 tracking fee as I had done before. Seeing this as very reactive rather than proactive I continued to complain and eventually won a 30 day notice of all out of town transportation of more than 24 hours.

So my ex takes my son down to friends living near the state capital about 160 miles away. He went to the Science and Industry Museum, the Zoo, swam in a nice pool at one friends house. He seemed to have fun and that's good. But one of the days, I received a cell call from my brother-in-law's phone, it was my son. He was down there visiting too. And as I found out, my ex was somewhere else. She had dumped my son while on "vacation", jeez...

A long weekend with relatives/friends and you still dump the kid. All the while keeping a tight grip on when his own father (me) can see him. BIC be damned. And she calls that a vacation.

Cabin Fever

Whoa, time flies, wish I could say I've been having fun... Been plodding along with post decree enforcement of orders and contemplating strategy for the next lawsuit in a few weeks...

Things are moving slowly, it could be the 90 degree summer days, but its more likely chronic cabin fever, the culmination of too many years, YES YEARS of uninterrupted caustic divorce irritation eating at my mind and emotion like a cancer.

The key is uninterrupted... Everyone outside the US understands the need for a Holiday (vacation) to recharge. We fail to grasp that simple fact in the US. This divorce just makes it all the worse.

For the entire litigation (over 2 years) with its constant threats, demands, case management needs, court appearances, I had no time to leave town. Not only did I quickly use up all vacation and sick days, I took a fair amount of "unpaid personal time" off. So much so that my company started questioning whether I was a full time employee. How could that be, well there was the two weeks tracking down my son's kidnapping in 2005, 35 scheduled court appearances, 10 scheduled days of trial, each with a similar amount of time before and after for prep and response. Just to emphasize the ridiculous the month of May 2007 I spent 3 full days per week, every week. on the divorce, by court order, that my ex was excused from, to finalize the case, mainly due to the oppositions legal game maneuvers, which still go on today three months after the final decree. One of those three days per week was spent in the court house.

So OK, two years high stress, no vacation, BFD (big fuckin deal), we've all done that, well higher... The last vacation was summer 2004. OK, three years, still BFD. Let me tell you about the last "family" vacation. I think my son enjoyed the trip to Orlando at almost 5. He went to DisneyLand of course, saw Aligators, Cape Canerival, rode in an air boat, almost got a ride in a swamp buggy. Somewhere I have the last "family portrait" taken at a returant of the three of us. So why whine, that sounds great.

It was pure torture for me, not just because I knew this would never be again, but because of my ex's constant and cruel taunting every fuckin chance she could get like a Chinese water torture designed to drive you insane. And it was no accident, nothing my ex does ever is, she is cold and calculating - literally - earning her one of my very few epitaphs of bitch.

Before, during, and after this "vacation" came the constant taunts, "Should we do the divorce before the vacation and get it over with", "Well as soon as we get back", every conceivable variation at every opportunity. Imagine when I'm standing in her cousin's kitchen who is a fundamentalist Christian who wanted our two families to join hands in a circle to recite a prayer of thanks to the Lord for bringing the two "families" together on this occasion. She was sincere, she didn't know, I bore no malice to this sweet inlaw who I knew and visited before on my several business trips to the area. No, but my wife joining hands and hypocritically praying to God about our "family" that she had all desire and intention of destroying was almost too much to bear. I half expected a bolt of lightening to come down and strike the bitch dead where she stood, and I secretly prayed that it would strike me dead and put me out of my misery. That's a vacation? JFSM!

Well let's go back another year, summer of 2003, four years ago. That was a real family vacation. No divorce talk, no taunting. My nearly 4 year old son pronounced Niagara in an interesting way. It was so funny, but has faded from my mind. He loved the Falls, he marveled at the power and majesty of them. He noticed everything about the trip, even the "Muffin Lady" who served breakfast muffin's every morning. He was and still is big for his age, he just made the height to go on the Hurricane deck. It is a daunting experience that has a bypass ramp that even some adults use as they near the power of the Falls. But like the brave trooper he is, he walked ahead right up to the closest point, water crashing down all around. I watched him closely, wondering if he was scared frozen or OK... After a few moments, he mater of factly said "We can go now". That moment sticks with me, my brave and wonderful son.

That was my last real break, 4 years ago, 4 years of unrelenting hell and shit, yearning for relief, to breath free, to fly free. But this divorce has grounded me. I am so hoping to be free again. To experience a break in this world of litigation that seemingly has no end as at least two more actions are already guaranteed for at least two more years. I can't last that long, I won't last to the end of this year. I had a doctor who heard of my situation after writing a script for some lab tests, scribbled another one and gave it to me, I should post it... On an official doctors Rx pad, the Latin slang phrase for "Don't let the Bastards Get You Down". Well when the bastards send armed law enforcement to your front door, even when you are with your child, a piece of Rx paper and those wise words just don't work. And I wish I meant only once. No better way to make friends with your neighbors than have police parked in your driveway regularly.

But under the best circumstances I can only hope for a personal vacation, a family vacation (well with my son, not my ex) is out the question, my ex bitch has seen to that. I can't even take him to the zoo let alone on a vacation. That is one of the two post decree actions that will continue for another two years, my effort to move toward normal visitation through a mediation process ordered by the court, a hard fought concession to her being the sole guardian with no rights for me as she demanded. But that will have to do for now. It's time, I'm overdue for a break. That's the Rx I really needed.

Sometimes the best way to not to let the bastards get you down is just to get the hell away from them. (jqism).

For another view of this topic see my latest entry in my Personal Blog.

I did it !!!

I have long fuse, but it isn't infinite...

• I was very tired, overtired, irritable
• I got the morning paper, the front page story was about a parental kidnapping
• Reading the article poured salt in my old wounds
• I called the reporter, he said he didn't have time to discuss the broken justice system
• Now I'm really steamed, I called the News editor
• They weren't in but I made it clear that I was not to be blown off
• A Senior editor took the call, listened, asked questions, expressed concern (guess that's how he got his position)
• So .... the next step

Would you be willing to talk to a reporter? I'm concerned about retribution. Well this sounds like to do it right we would need to assign two investigative reporters for a 6 month investigation, legal vetting, etc. but it would be helpful if you could relay these areas of concern that they can look into. I'd be willing to do that. The printed circulation of this regional newspaper is over 2 million.

So I guess I've gone and done it, I opened the door to the media. I listed quite a number of abuses in the half hour conversation with the senior editor along with the importance of the story. He seemed to agree. We'll see what comes of it.

Hopefully I won't regret it. But then I'm sure if I kept it to my self, allowed injustice, condoned it with my silence, I would regret it. There comes a time to decide, stand and fight, or run and hide. I have stood and fought this long. Doesn't seem like I should start running now.

Order, Shmorder...

We don't abide by no f--kin orders...

The Playas

The usual suspects - defendant (me), pussy, bitch, hired bitch
Holder of assets - Brokerage, Bank
Creditors - Named as co-defendants

The Orders

Multiple orders, over 91 pages, addendums
QDRO, DOPO, division of property settlement
All connected under a Journal Entry (JE) of Divorce

The Game

As before, I am advised to follow orders under "threat and pain of the full force of the law and contempt of court sanctions".
Also as before, the hired bitch causes delays to induce stress and cause hardship with no penalty whatsoever as "an officer of the court acting on its behalf".
And my lawyer, well he's a pussy.
Of course the Asset Holders, as I do, are threatened to follow orders.
Enter a new Playa, who is bold and resistant to orders - the creditor.

And we roll the dice

The division of property states that I will execute a QDRO and release assets to my wife who will pay a share marital debt first. The order further states that I am no longer responsible for the debt. I have released the funds, but the hired bitch is sitting on the QDRO and the creditor is asking me to pay the debt.

I inform the creditor that there is an order that absolves me of the debt, that I have released funds to pay it, that the hired bitch is holding it up and how they can contact them.

We don't follow orders in divorce decrees, we believe our contract with you remains intact despite a court order to the contrary. We will hold you to that contract and litigate in another court jurisdiction.

Who the Fuck do they think they are? I am threatened with contempt, fines, and jail every time I turn around, and the hired bitch and now the creditor moon the judge with no consequences? How the fuck is anyone to take an order or a contempt threat seriously?

So I advice the creditors that may be typical boilerplate but in my particular case they were named as defendants and notified by the court. Well we show no record of receiving that and we have filed no answer to the court recognizing their jurisdiction over us in this matter. I continue that their professed ignorance of notification does not constitute a faulty notification and their choice not to respond does not prevent the court from exercising a default judgment against them.

The way it really is

Apparently creditors are given a courtesy immunity to not be involved. The issue remains between the primary parties.

• I release money.
  
• Her lawyer delays the receipt of the money.
  
• The creditor sues me for defaulting on a contract that has been superseded by a court order they refuse to recognize.
• I sue my ex for default on payment for funds she has not received because of her own lawyers actions.
• Her lawyer successfully defends my suit because my wife has not violated the order through any fault of her own, only through the fault of her own lawyer but that doesn't count as she is an officer of the court, treated with the same respect and exemptions as the court itself.
• I loose my lawsuit to the creditor and to my ex.
• Having little money to spare, I can take comfort in the 91 sheets of asswipe that are the divorce orders.

All because the creditor refuses to recognize the order to reallocate the debt (and even the assets to pay it) to the other party.

Options?

• Hope you don't get screwed. - Easiest, Riskiest
• Ask everyone to do the right thing. - Modest effort, Little hope
• Solve the problem by doing everyone else's job and then continuously monitor that the implementation is on track. - Most work, best hope

What did I do?

I did the first two and they failed. My wife ignored all suggestions because her trusty lawyer said (correctly) she didn't have to worry about it. Thanks to the big brass balls of the creditor she was off the hook for her obligation. So I negotiated a six month extension with payment plan with no interest and the promise of a balloon payment at the end. I twisted my ex's arm to provide a bank account from which they can draw the principal payments.

But what good is a plan without a backup plan. I maintain an online connection to the account to verify that the payments are made on time and I have set up a back up account with my own limited funds in it to prevent her from defaulting and it reverting to 32% interest plus a lawsuit.

So it's not a problem now, why am I whining? You want to sit on the edge of your seat with one lawsuit filed and another on the way. You want to spend the time calling these arrogant assholes and trying to get something done only to monitor it every week to be sure her check didn't bounce. Send me an email, I'll give you a stack a shit to try out for a while and you tell me how much fun it is. Mind you its not my burden I have an asswipe order that says so. I can send ya that too.

So is this theory or paranoia or snowball chance in hell? Nope, it has already happened with one of the creditors. My pretrial on that lawsuit is less than a month again. So a few more weeks to study that area of law and off I go into the court system for another year or two.

Lessons Learned

• Orders really don't have to be followed
• Contempt is just hot air
• Only you can protect yourself
• I could be wrong about all of the above

Note: This post (as all posts whether containing notice or not) is bound by the legal disclaimer addendum.

A Conversation with a boy and his NCP

NCP: How was the Science Museum at Camp today?
Boy: Great Dad, I saw a Telsa Coil, --- , a Dinosaur on the really big screen.
NCP: Oh, you got to see it on IMAX.
Boy: Yeah, Daddy, it was so realistic, xxx, one of the other campers was scared, but I wasn't.
Boy: Daddy, can we go their together sometime?
NCP: Well we don't have a lot of time together, and the court doesn't let me drive you that far?
Boy: Daddy, when I'm older, maybe 12 (he's 7 now)?
NCP: Oh I sure hope so.
Boy: Daddy, how old before I can take you there, like when I can drive? Can the court stop me from taking you there?
NCP: No, they can't but I sure hope we don't have to wait that long.
Boy: Well we'll go then for sure...

When you live life as an NCP you forget what its like to be a real Dad. (jqism)
Being sentenced to an NCP is a long term sentence, not unlike an emotional death sentence. (jqism)

Legal Disclaimer

I already have a legal disclaimer in my legal notice. I am not a lawyer, I am not allowed by law to dispense legal advice, laws vary from region to region, blah blah blah, except you won't get a big bill from me.

Items in this blog are my personal observation, seek professional help, blah blah blah...

I have some personal observations and experience that lets say literally flies in the face of the law, actually appears to be against the law, that I think would be interesting to talk about. However, that is not to say that something I saw someone (maybe even me, without giving up my 5th amendment rights) get away with would work again for them or even work the first time for you.

I also do not want to encourage anyone to break the law, seek professional help to be sure you are on reasonably firm quick sand, that's the best you can hope for from the system. (jqism)

Let me summarize a few of my radical opinions here and I'll go into further examples latter...

• Against the law is not black or white, its kinda gray and murky like the weather in London, this is why lawyers can make so much money dancing in the fog...
• First there is the interpretation of the law, where skilled people can argue fine points
• Then there is the contradictions that occur within the law
  
• Then there is whether anyone even decides to push an issue, why not push for justice?
  Lack of funds to access the system, lawyers lack of interest in pursuing it even though you paid them, judges lack of interest or supervision, many more....
• An order may exist, but without formal notification, it is in limbo, despite the common conception that you can not "plead ignorance", many do. Or in many cases they take steps to avoid being served, and thus successfully evade the order.
• Once a person is formally notified, they can seek another jurisdiction, or claim lack of jurisdiction, it is deceit to the court they go to, but it is common.
• The courts tend to take short cuts because of their immense case load, these often result in short changing justice too.
• The high cost of using the courts means that people must settle for injustice. But even if they make the sacrifice to engage the courts these other imperfections create roadblocks to justice.
• After notification your order should protect you, but there is no guarantee that it won't be ignored. It must be notified, verified, implemented, monitored, and enforced. All at additional cost. An order is a decision, it does not make it so.
  

It's kind of an extension of "Don't get caught". See the law is no better than the pirates code, actually the pirates code was a well organized set of rules to accomplish their goals... and be understandable to the common man. There was no room for lawyers and their games on a pirate ship, Comon sense ruled. In Pirates of the Caribbean # 1, Capt Barbosa said the perfect line, "They are really more like guidelines than rules".

It is important to understand this so the first time you see your opponent violate a restraining order and nobody does anything or when your own lawyer asks how many thousand dollars you are willing to pay to get some more worthless orders (asswipe) written that you don't act with naive indignation.

It is equally important to understand that when you are ready to bungee jump from a tall bridge (without bungee cords) because some order put you in an impossible situation where there is no alternative, that you understand there always is. Lawyers and orders will try to tell you otherwise, but my response is "You wake up every morning and you make choices all day long, and I am a very out of the box thinker and I will make choices, maybe choices you'd never dream of, about this without being hindered by your artificial limitations."

Now this drives your lawyer nuts because he thinks he'll get his ass kicked by the judge for not "controlling his client". I have had some success with this intimidation tactic spurring my lawyer to become a little more "creative". I've also had them threaten to drop me if did not follow their advice. It also risks a contempt of court charge. But I've had so many threats of those, I don't take them seriously anymore.

What ??? Who's running the show here? Good question, kind of like dogs running in circles trying to bite each others tail, who's in front? No real answer. (jqism)

Okay and now the formal part:

The "content" as defined in the full legal notice, has not been reviewed by legal counsel. No "content" is to be construed as an admission of fact or guilt. Fifth amendment rights can and will be considered if any challenge is made to the "content". If advised by legal counsel, it is possible that "content" will be revised or retracted to maintain author's rights.

So keep all this in mind when you read some "creative" posts coming up.


Status: Second Draft - last updated 08/01/07 08:30 pm

It's only by luck

I'll put this draft post up in case you didn't notice the comment...

I was lucky, and make no mistake it was merely luck, not skill, not predicable, not repeatable, just luck, or maybe it was divine intervention...

After being quite clear that my son wasn't going to get to go back to the carnival not even with Daddy (and him paying too). I was pleasantly surprised to get a call Sunday morning asking if I wanted to take my son to the carnival right now! Oh life as an NCP leaves no room for advance scheduling, its part of the control games my wife likes to play to fuck with me. She's doing a lot more fucking now than during the marriage, that's for sure! Ah, but I digress out of frustration no doubt.

So she's behind in her work and just got out of church (hence the potential for divine inspiration), since she left our faith, I don't know what the reading or sermon was about. I had to slow her down a bit, it's Sunday, "Are the hours the same today, are they open yet?" They weren't, so we met at the entrance just after they opened. She was only going to let him be there for two hours, I haggled and got it to three.

So we had a good time... I have some photos - public and private. I'll try to finish this post up soon.

I try very hard to enjoy the time I have with my son and overlook the bullshit games, but the stench is always present and always offensive and I just can't help calling a turd a turd. It's irritating, its unfair, and it needs to change. I will not be free and not consider the system just until the system is reformed as it should be and NCPs are no more, until a child is always entitled to both their parents (on equal footing) who just don't happen to be living together anymore. Not until, my son stops asking "Is Mommy the boss of both of us Daddy?"

Nothing to discuss...

Among all the court ordered restrictions on my son's access to me are a few protections. One is that my son is entitled to contact me by phone daily. So when I didn't hear from him I started calling. My ex answered her cell, she's out, and dumped him on a baby sitter. She called the baby sitter who called me. The baby sitter has limited minutes and didn't want my son to use them. So I called him on a landline. And I have another "dumpee" in my caller ID.

So we were able to talk. I talked to him about the carnival that was in town that he went to yesterday. He had a lot of fun. I asked, did you go today. "No", he said sadly, "Mommy said I went yesterday". Well that's just like her, being a cheapskate and all, I thought to myself. So I said, "Maybe Mommy would let me take you." "No", he said, sounding even worse. "Did you ask?", I said in surprise. "Yes, she said you couldn't take me either."

So she decided for me, didn't need to discuss it. I'm only an NCP, I used to be his Father, until the court decided, as they almost always do to take that away.

Well, I could understand and even support that as a good parenting decision under normal circumstances. But if things were normal, this Blog wouldn't even exist. My son hasn't had a summer vacation for three years. This summer has been spent at a day camp, and while he has "age appropriate" fun (another post coming), it is no substitute for fun with parents. So to go to the carnival for an extra day is a pretty poor substitute for what he should get. It's the very least his parents can do given that this divorce cheated him from a vacation and so much more.

So why didn't she discuss this with me? What gives her the right to make this unilateral decision? The courts did, a winner and a loser. She is under no obligation to discuss these things with a mere NCP by order of the court.

So while my ex is out on a Saturday night looking to going "off to the next one", my son and his NCP are the losers. Doesn't seem fair, not even a discussion, because it isn't fair.

PS: If you haven't already heard the song lyrics about going "off to the next one" from last month, click here. The audio link has been fixed !