Lawyers and the Games They Play

At your expense

Let me focus on the worst of all lawyers, the traditional adversarial divorce lawyer. That is such an overly kind name for the terrible con job they do.

Apparently my wife's lawyer plays several games and in combination she has built a nice career out of it:

• Control clients by keeping them in the dark so they can be dependent on her
• Intimidation of her clients, adversaries, and staff
• Forcefully lie in chambers, hoping opponent won't have confidence to object
  
• Don't get pined down, keep the water muddy
  
• Fain ignorance when caught lying
• Kiss ass to the judge

I refer to this as dinosaur law, it's old school and should be extinct. It is not customer service centric. It's an occupational hazard and many lawyers may exhibit these traits to one extent or another. It looks like she's slick, but its just different parts of the same tool, different personalities for different audiences, but all part of a single dinosaur style, as she is known as a one trick pony.

Control

The lawyer works for you, it is your life, and if you have children this will affect you for at least a decade, in either case it will affect your pension, so it is easy to argue that you will live with the divorce decree until "death due you part". The client should control or manage the case since they will live with the consequences.

Old school lawyers want to run the show, they want to do what's easy, what will keep them friends with their fellow lawyers and judges. They want to make a lot of money by overbooking clients. They think a lot of themselves and feel that they don't need any input from the client.

Intimidation

Lawyer's main method of achieving control is by intimidation. They will intimidate a client, by threatening to quit or that you should find a new lawyer and start over, they'll threaten that your outcome will be worse if you try to push for your goals and they'll act indignant like you've insulted them by merely asking a question.

They may also practice various intimidation tactics on the opposition, some of it to stir up your emotion, some of it to cause you to believe they are "fighting" for you.

Lie

One would think that lawyers would have to be truthful. But like one of our president's practiced, there is a lot of room for interpretation and molding. Lawyer's words are technically never considered evidence, only sworn testimony is evidence. In fact a sworn affidavit, is "second class" evidence for the convenience of the court, in-person testimony is the evidence the court seeks.

Keep the Water Muddy

When a lawyer keeps things undefined and unclear, then there is no place to make progress from. They can simply say no and you don't know what they are looking for or how to pin them down. A good negotiator will pin the opposition down. Two lawyers displaying this attribute will cause the case to drift aimlessly like a sail boat in the ocean, with no heading, never to reach it's destination.

A good judge will detect this drifting and push the parties to get specific and move towards a resolution. That is the goal of pre-trials, review local court rules governing pre-trial goals to see what your lawyers and judge should be doing.

A good lawyer will push hard for the opposition to define their needs, goals, and positions, not just their desires. By understanding this in broad terms they can offer alternatives that may be acceptable to both parties, thus bringing the conflict to satisfactory conclusion.

Play Dumb

As a small child, you may have "played dumb" when caught doing something wrong. It worked then and it works in many cases in court too, if done convincingly. It can be dangerous unless you have the respect of the court. The maxim, "Ignorance is no excuse" can bring sanctions down on the inexperienced practitioner.

Kiss Ass

Kissing ass is a manipulation technique that the lawyer can use on a variety of people. The judge will be the number one ass target. If he's unhappy, the lawyer is in trouble. So usually all lawyers and officers of the court (guardians, evaluators, experts, bailiffs) will be puckered up. Sometimes the opposition is the kissing target. My lawyer, a rookie in the mediation business, believes in kissing opposition ass. His senior partner, with more developed skills, pushes the opponent to define their goal, their position, and their objection, by obtaining that information he can corner them by offering a compromise or alternative that meets their definition.

The ass target receives the benefit of having their ego stroked (a strong need in the legal profession to overcome the universal hatred of their profession). This temporarily disables them, so they are unable to perform their duties.

The combination of all these habits ensures the lawyer will maximize fees and the client will maximize aggravation, health problems, etc. This is in nether parties interest and delays or prevents the civil relationship needed to co-parent any children.

So why do lawyer's practice this form of draconian law? MONEY!