So you get your final decree, and start your carefree life the next day, Right? Wrong!
Well to be accurate, having the hired bitch out of my life will be huge. Not having to go to the court house and sit around all day every few weeks will be great. Hell I’ll save plenty of money in parking and gas alone.
I have a lot to do post-decree, just like a wedding in reverse where so much planning is done for a single day. A divorce is a single day that ends with "You are now divorced, Good Luck in your separate lives" followed by a large list of things to do.
Well I start with four huge disadvantages, the time I would have used to prepare for the day was spent getting the divorce issues closed. I was called to full day court sessions for a full day every week of this month. Add another day or two in prep and review of that court date and that is a lot of time.
The second big disadvantage is the court’s decision not to decide. Why? It would cost another $100K. So what does that mean, well I continue with restricted visitation and the court orders a one-two year period of hurdles and mediation to provide a “path to normal visitation”. Of course any ass with half a brain could make the same determination with common sense in a few days, but we’re dealing with a “system” here.
Third is recovering from substantial damage inflicted during the divorce. -------------
Fourth is the extra steps that are entailed in a contentious divorce.
So what do I have to do, oh it’s not hard it’s just unraveling 15 years of intertwined stuff. First, get all final official court documents – parenting plan, separation agreement, division of property (DOPO), qualified distribution (QDRO), withdrawal of TROs , Divorce Order, Waiver of Judge.
These documents will be needed, referenced, maintained forever. Especially contentious ones like the parenting plan. The documents look like crap. I need them in machine readable format, then I need to add all handwritten updates, then organize and cross reference the document so it’s usable. Why not just reference the original scribbled document? At nearly 100 pages?
With these documents every thing that is joint must be severed. There are people who need formal notification. By default everything related to my son is allocated to my wife. I must notify, enforce, and verify that all the people related to my son recognize and respect my parental rights.
Oh yeah and there is the lawsuit against me that rendered a lien and another new one started last week. On advice of counsel I have been advised to take steps to avoid service. So maybe to achieve that I should go on a road trip to my Blogger Buddies.
So much is said and written about leading up to or restarting your social life, but this legal transition from final decree to practical freedom seems to be missing. I'll try to write some tips on this as I discover them, but I'd appreciate any suggestions you may have.
Status: First Draft - Last Updated 05/25/07 06:20 am
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2 comments:
One hurdle at a time John!
You will be thru this tunnel some day, you WILL see the light at the end!!!!!
(Oh and in case you are wondering, I am also a night owl!)
Yeah I know. And this is probably the biggest step. The rest is kind of a time consuming nuisance.
I had an ah-ha feeling realizing that it is marriage in reverse.
And at least it won't be the light from an oncoming train. LOL.
I was wondering.
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