So the judge gives me this threatening lecture about how he's going to screw me over good if I don't settle. So what if there is $7K of inequity on top of $13K. He'll make that look good if I force a trial. He'll take the house (Why? More money for the lawyers). He'll raise child support based on the highest imputed income he can justify, and he'll assign more of opposition's ever increasing fees to me because I have a better ability to pay based on large separate assets.
Did you catch that irony, see separate is just a word in divorce, it isn't treated as separate.
The judge was talking fast and sternly, to calm myself I stared at the worst rug I have ever seen on top of a human head. It brought an inner smile, here's this powerful man with this, this, eh gads.
But I was going to have my input, I wasn't going to sit there as a mute. It's not my nature.
He starts off telling me what great lawyers I have, I audibly laughed. He said no I'm serious.
He said we both (husband and wife) can't be happy, I responded, I understand that, I never expected this process to be happy, and I have no expectation of ever being happy with any part of this process in the future.
He said I got a great parenting plan, I was speechless on that one. It might be great for a convicted felon, an abuser, or a substance abuser, but since I'm none of those it pretty well sucks.
He said that I have large separate property interests, I said I had large separate property, I had even more before my wife scammed me out of $70K when my start up went bust then told me two months later that she'd been planning divorce for some time. It is my position that she already received a large part of my separate assets.
He tells me not to nit pick ($7K is only chump change, why stoop over to pick it up off the sidewalk). I respond that the last two weeks have been spent finding serious flaws in the mathematics of the proposal.
The senior partner says well, what do you think the judge said. I responded that he threatened me to sign the damn document or I'm screwed. No, No, No he didn't say that, says the senior partner, I respond it is simple to read between the lines.
We go over all my points and where things are. My lawyer makes a math mistake and has contradictory numbers on two different documents. I quickly pointed it out, the senior partner was following along with me and my lawyer was visibly shaken.
Too make that kind of mistake on final documents is serious.
Senior partners advice - sign it, give the judge what he wants. It will put us on the moral high ground, the ball will be in her court.
While I'm in conference with my lawyers, opposition barges into the courtroom, calls away my lawyer to threaten him that at trial she will require absolute proof of all brokerage transactions, over 15 years, even though these records don't exist.
Once again, she proves, she has the biggest pair of brass balls in the courthouse. While I sit there with the senior partner, I ask him, does that bitch know she is not supposed to barge in on opposition? She was also hanging out by judge's chambers earlier trying to listen in on the private conference.
What could I do? I let the judge know my objections, I made my position clear to all involved. But ultimately I signed away another $7000 under threat and duress. I expected it. So now the senior partner will deliver the signed separation agreement and divorce decree to the judge and opposing counsel.
So here's how it works out, within 10 days of execution:
- I will sign over one retirement account by QDRO.
- She will take on debt from two joint credit cards.
- I will transfer $29,000 for a property settlement to opposition counsel (not to my wife).
- Of this $29,000 settlement, my wife's lawyer will seize at least $18,000 for past fees.
- Of the $11,000 remaining in the settlement, her lawyer will seize at least half of that in current fees.
- I will transfer $12,000 for my wife's fees directly to her lawyer.
- I will transfer $40,000 to my lawyer for fees.
So now we are awaiting my wife's signature.
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