| Method | Contested Divorce | Uncontested Dissolution | |
| Children | 1 | 3 | 33% |
| Custody | Restricted | 50/50 | |
| Uninterrupted Days | 0 | 7 | |
| Overnights | 0 | 7/wk | |
| Parties | 7 | 2 | 350% |
| Lawyers/ParaLegals | 5 | 2 | 250% |
| Court Officers | 3 | 0 | |
| Docket (entries) | 159 | 20 | 795% |
| Court Costs | $1,109 | $227 | 489% |
| Duration | 2 yr 1 mo 3wks | 2 mo 2 wks | 1110% |
| Litigation Costs | $100,000 | $5,000 | 2000% |
| Decree (pages) | 91 | 41 | 222% |
| Judgment Entries | 33 | 4 | 825% |
| Trial Dates | 10 | 1 | 1000% |
| Hearings | Lost Count | ||
| Scheduled Hearings | 45 | 3 | 1500% |
| Motions Filed by Plaintiff | 66 | 8 | 825% |
| Motions Filed by Defendant | 44 | 7 | 629% |
| Discovery (Reams) | 46 | 1 | 4600% |
Someone mentioned how many trees were consumed in this process. Since the beginning of my divorce action, my county has added 386 volumes of journal entries in the Domestic Relations Section. Each volume is hardbound containing 1000 pages. That is 386,000 pages of certified court documents. Of course each lawyer and each party also has at least one copy.
That is over 1.9 million pages for one large county in one state covering 2 years.
So think about that next time you hear someone casually throwing around the word "divorce".
Status: Second Draft - Last Update 05/29/07 12:45 am
5 comments:
Hi jq75, I have been reading through some of your posts (although not all of them) I don't understand why your ex wife has all the control over your son, how can she get your access so restricted? I thought you could only do that if you could prove the parent unfit? I am so sorry for you that your ex can not see that the one hurting the most is your precious child! it is so unfair when one person has all the power in these situations!
Domestic Relations Court violates common sense assumptions in so many ways.
First you do not have to prove the parent unfit, the mere accusation results in a default assumption that of it being true so as to quickly protect the child. And in some cases this time may be so important.
But then the court does not try to determine if the accusation is true, it may bring i nvarious officers, as it did, but even their recommendations won't be enforced unless a full $100K+ custody trial is conducted.
In my case the extra restrictions I was extorted to prior to Christmas, were reviewed by my son's Guardian and she made a recommendation that the extra restrictions were "disgusting" and "unnecessary". The judge didn't care. Opposition's presentation was more forceful (albeit obviously biased).
For me, the accusation was that a sleep disorder that is now under treatment could compromise my ability to take care of my son.
A separate custody evaluation, case worker review, and medical testimony was reviewed but dismissed in favor of oppositions more forceful argument, pending full Trial (Phase III) litigation.
The very hard compromise that I won was court ordered mediation to resolve this issue. So for another $10K rather than $100K, I may well be able to receive reasonable visitation.
Yes it is unfair, but that's what adversarial divorce does, picks a winner and a looser.
To catch up on any particular topic of interest, take a look at the labels, you can click them and see those posts. You can also use the search Blog in the upper left corner.
Wow! I have read some more and I'm disgusted! it really sounds like you have been screwed by everyone! your ex, the system, your own lawyer! My hubby has a son with an ex who is an absolute horror of a human being but your ex tops even her!
I know from reading your blog that you have suffered, emotionally, financially, mentally. You however are an adult and have the resources to deal with all of it, does your ex not have any concern for what she is doing to her son?
To deny him access to his father is cruel and unusual punishment! he is not the one who wanted a divorce, he is most likely confused and scared and sad (no matter how much you reassure him that you love him and are not going anywhere) I know because we have been through it.
I have three sons and no matter what (short of them being in danger) I would never deny them access to their father if god forbid we were to ever split, as a mother I think your ex's behaviour is reprehensible! as a mother I can't believe that she would put her own needs before her son's.
Hang in there, there is that saying that what comes around goes around. I don't believe you can treat people the way she has treated you without the universe delivering some repercussions!
oops I mean what goes around comes around.
As for my ex's concern for my son, that would require logic and common sense, something that both her and the courts do not have.
She literally is in denial that she is causing him pain. She has this strange idea that this is what has to be done and she isn't responsible for it. And if that sounds nuts, uh, well, thats only because it is.
Its one thing for her to be nuts, its another for the system to support it.
Well one of her karma paybacks will be to earn the resentment of her son. He's figured it out, he asks to see me, she says no.
But at least I still do have a solid relationship with him, its just that it shouldn't be this hard.
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